2.28.2010

Breaking Out of the Lackluster

"Don't give in to discouragement. If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be obedient to truth. For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed."
--Mother Theresa

Since I believe in a God, I surely agree with this statement.

I'm trying to look at the bright side of life, although I've been feeling a bit downcast and lackluster. I'm not sure as to why, except that I've been a bit bored. This can be changed. I can get a new job, gain new activities, pray more, and get myself out of this unusual hole. It's the weirdest kind of sadness--the kind that comes from nowhere. It's different when you are feeling sad from a broken heart or a death. In those situations you have something to blame.

In this situation, I'm feeling sad for no apparent reason. ?!?! Sad might be the wrong word...I'm just not...as energetic and full of life as usual.

Today was a good day though. I messed around with a new camera that my dad got me for my birthday (coming up soon). I had lunch with a good friend. I talked, I laughed, I had some delicious coffee.

I need to remember to surround myself with community.

And with God. A verse from Psalm 139 (one of my FAVORITE Psalms EVER):

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

I don't want anyone to worry at all by reading this post. I am not depressed or lifeless. I'm just, in the middle somewhere. I'm recognizing that and bringing it to light, because when you are feeling down, isn't it good to talk about it?

Random pictures:

Another sunflower picture. Can't help but smile when I see a sunflower :D
A note from one first-grade boy at my job. Although it's a black heart (how emo!), it's adorable.
That delicious coffee I had today. Mmmm...a Cafe Viennese.

Up on the list for this week: Disneyland on Wed (for my bday, YAY), Alice and Wonderland (da movie!) on Saturday, followed by a joint birthday party with my friend Colleen. Yep, I sure do like to celebrate my birth! I think this will be a good week.

11 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I know that feeling very well. You can't quite place your finger on it but all is not right in your world.

    But. You're a super lady with a big heart and I know that this will pass. Focus on the good things (and the new camera! Jealous!), make plans for things you really enjoy, and when you hit up Disneyland strike an Asian pose just for me =)

    Happy early birthday darlin', have yourself a super one and I'm always on the end of an email if you want to talk! Love.

    Jax x

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  3. Little boys can't make normal hearts, we lose our man cards. So it's as cute as a little boy can make it. Which is still freakishly cute.

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  4. Oh, I know the feeling, and it will pass. Moving past it I think comes from first acknowledging that things aren't quite right, and then doing things to actively fill your heart up again. Like great coffee and good times :)

    Thanks for sharing that verse, too, I love that one.

    Feel better soon, miss :)

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  5. I was feeling the same way, but for the past few days the sun has been out and the snow is melting, which has done a lot to brighten my mood.

    Also, I just noticed that you changed my link to "Robot Frank" which I think is awesome.

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  6. Cute pics, Ashley. Disneyland alone would put me in a great mood! I haven't been there since 2003!!

    Why don't you change your blog background color? I'm thinking white or a soft yellow. Perhaps "wearing" a lighter color will lift your spirits (every little bit helps, right?).

    D.

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  7. frank--glad you like it :)

    d--not a bad idea, actually.

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  8. Community is so huge. Seriously I miss my SD community big time. So covet those close relationships of love and trust. It won't always be so easy and convenient to meet and hangout with them as time goes on; but those meant to be there for you will remain in your life and heart.
    But first and foremost what I've learned and continually reminded of is staying is communion with God. If that suffers, then everything else falls and fails and suddenly takes on a bland flavor.
    God Bless ya, Ash and hope you are feeling better now.

    -Dirty Colombian;)

    p.s.- I just found out what Captain E.O. was... definitely before my time I guess lol!

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  9. Before your time?!? You're the same age as me, dirty!!

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  10. lies... you're more than 9months older. but regardless of age- I grew up without cable channels:( haha!

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