So as I am delving into this whole 'Teaching in Turkey' idea, it's becoming more slap-me-in-the-face real. Which is exciting, yes. But I hate to say this...it also scares the hell outta me.
I didn't know I was such a scaredy-cat.
This might sound soooooo ridiculous to you all, but I've never lived away from my parents. Yeah, I've lived in different houses than my parents, but I haven't lived more than 20-freakin'-minutes away from mommy and daddy.
The one bad scenario that I've been playing is my head is, I go to Turkey, I have a jolly time, then I find out that one of my parents has passed away. Of course, I feel guilt.
I know this sounds extremely negative and morbid, but I think about death more often after my dad had cancer 3 years ago. It is more of a prevalent entity in my life. And it's not just my dad, my mom had me when she was 44. That puts her in her late 60s now. My whole life, I've always thought about the possibility of losing my mom earlier than others.
Now the other side of this coin...I know, and YOU know and my PARENTS know that this shouldn't stop my dreams. What am I gonna do, never leave home, so to speak? Out of
fear? No, no, no...I won't be going down like that.
Isn't it funny that I'm not scared of living in a foreign place? (Cause that's the fun part!). I'm just scared of leaving my family.
So I'm in the place where, yes, I'd like to still move forward with this. But I have a little anxiety about the whole thing. I think that's normal. Really, I just wanted to release some of that anxiety here, by talking about it.
So, penny for your thoughts? (I pretty much know what you'll say, so say it).