WOW, I absolutely love this!!!! Thanks for sharing :) It's so true isn't it? Next time I'm teaching a class I am going to make sure I focus on intelligent conversation with them and steer the focus away from appearance.
I've always loved the "you're intelligent" compliments over the "you're pretty compliments." This is why I felt the need to share, because it's something I've been longing to hear myself.
I have to disagree, Ashley. I understand why it's important to complement intelligence as well as beauty and can appreciate this article in that sense.
However, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. It strikes me as paradoxical how sensitive people are over the small stuff while simultaneously embracing the immoralities running rampant on TV and in our culture.
If people want to know why society is so disfunctional, I can think of more obvious reasons than complementing little girls.
Apart from the fact that there's no way I want to spend half an hour listening to someone's kid read a story, I like it!
Although I don't think a positive compliment on appearance is bad at any age. If I could change anything, it would be to never see my mom poking at her face in the mirror--actually, never looking in the mirror. Not that my mom is particularly vain or anything, but it did kind of create a situation where looking in the mirror was a normal thing to do.
And intelligence is definitely more important than looks.
D and Emily--totally get your points. You bring up a good argument to the article. However, I think I just love how the article brings up something I've never thought of before...that even I hardly compliment little girls on their brains! I think it's great to have a healthy mix of both.
Which tends to always be my answer...haha. BALANCE!
I'm from the Stone Age, and have always told little girls that they are pretty. With their parents standing safely by so its not nearly as creepy as it sounds. Ok, I guess its creepy. But they're always friends' kids.
It seems to me that on Facebook women constantly are complimenting their friends' photos with comments that they look so pretty, beautiful, etc. I've noticed this kind of conversation a lot at social events too, "Oh, that dress looks so good on you! You look so beautiful tonight!" I've always assumed women do this with their friends as a sort of reinforcement or support mechanism, in the face of unrealistic social expectations about what is "beautiful." Isn't there some value in that kind of positive reinforcement, particularly when so many girls have such negative self-images?
This article raises a very valid point though, and I'll consider it carefully. I already try to engage little girls on other subjects, like their classes or hobbies. Thanks for posting it.
WOW, I absolutely love this!!!! Thanks for sharing :) It's so true isn't it? Next time I'm teaching a class I am going to make sure I focus on intelligent conversation with them and steer the focus away from appearance.
ReplyDeleteYes :)
ReplyDeleteI've always loved the "you're intelligent" compliments over the "you're pretty compliments." This is why I felt the need to share, because it's something I've been longing to hear myself.
that IS wonderful!! It's amazing how much we've all been trained to treat little girls like that.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree, Ashley. I understand why it's important to complement intelligence as well as beauty and can appreciate this article in that sense.
ReplyDeleteHowever, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. It strikes me as paradoxical how sensitive people are over the small stuff while simultaneously embracing the immoralities running rampant on TV and in our culture.
If people want to know why society is so disfunctional, I can think of more obvious reasons than complementing little girls.
D.
Apart from the fact that there's no way I want to spend half an hour listening to someone's kid read a story, I like it!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't think a positive compliment on appearance is bad at any age. If I could change anything, it would be to never see my mom poking at her face in the mirror--actually, never looking in the mirror. Not that my mom is particularly vain or anything, but it did kind of create a situation where looking in the mirror was a normal thing to do.
And intelligence is definitely more important than looks.
D and Emily--totally get your points. You bring up a good argument to the article. However, I think I just love how the article brings up something I've never thought of before...that even I hardly compliment little girls on their brains! I think it's great to have a healthy mix of both.
ReplyDeleteWhich tends to always be my answer...haha. BALANCE!
I'm from the Stone Age, and have always told little girls that they are pretty. With their parents standing safely by so its not nearly as creepy as it sounds. Ok, I guess its creepy. But they're always friends' kids.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that on Facebook women constantly are complimenting their friends' photos with comments that they look so pretty, beautiful, etc. I've noticed this kind of conversation a lot at social events too, "Oh, that dress looks so good on you! You look so beautiful tonight!" I've always assumed women do this with their friends as a sort of reinforcement or support mechanism, in the face of unrealistic social expectations about what is "beautiful." Isn't there some value in that kind of positive reinforcement, particularly when so many girls have such negative self-images?
This article raises a very valid point though, and I'll consider it carefully. I already try to engage little girls on other subjects, like their classes or hobbies. Thanks for posting it.