I realize this post is going to sound terribly dramatic. But what I’ve learned from having a blog is that this is my space to let it out...so that’s what I’m gonna do.
I miss London a whole lot. And coming back to San Diego has not been as smooth as I would have hoped. I knew I would go through some slight culture shock coming back; what I didn’t anticipate was San Diego feeling so different to me. To use the dumbest of analogies, it’s like coming back to an old favorite pair of shoes, ones that I used to wear everyday. I loved these shoes once upon time. But finding them again, I’ve noticed that my style has changed. I don’t like they way they look quite as much as before. They just don’t fit the same. San Diego doesn’t fit the same.
And so, I’m stuck between the decision of staying or going. I've only been back a little more than a week, so of course I need to give myself a little more time before jumping on a plane (something that feels more home to me more than any place right now). I just can’t decide if it’s a phase I’m going through, or if I’ve changed so much that San Diego will never feel the same again.
A wise friend told me as I was leaving, “Everything will be the same when you get back, you’ll be the one that’s changed.”
Well gosh, ain’t that the truth.