Conversations with Male Coworkers, Vol. 3

Conversations I hear or are a part of in an all-male working environment...

Z: The worst thing would be if the zombies and robots rose up at the same time. We'd have to fight both.

(There is some variation of this convo everyday--zombie apocalypse, robot takeovers, guns you should own for such takeovers, etc.)

Me (to my emo coworker): You look like Monday morning.
J: Don't even talk to me today.

Z: I’m going to start a Live Action Role Play Dueling Society.
Me: What?
Z: We’re going to have our inaugural duel on the anniversary of the Aaron Burr duel.
Me: This is a thing??

(After I bring a Eucalyptus Mint soap to the office)

B: That soap is amazing! 
J: Yeah thanks, Ashley, I do appreciate a good soap. 
A: It makes my hands tingly! 
Me (thinking to myself): Men are abnormally obsessed with pretty-smelling soap! 

(to preface this, A is your usual web developer type--sometimes awkward, but mostly nice. Obsessed with all things Japanese)

A (whispers): Ashhhhhley...
Me: A, stop being creepy!
A: Then I have to stop being A (makes a said face). 
Me: haha! That was actually funny, A!


  1. Oh dear!

    Well at least they appreciate the soap.

  2. What kind of weirdos do you work with? Obviously, the robots would go after the zombies and the humans alike. Yet, the robots would be impervious to the zombies. That shouldn't even be a topic.

    1. Chris, I think you have a debate going below... (comment from my coworker, Z).

  3. Erroneous! Robots would ignore the zombies and would attack the only logical threat: the living humans. The point is that the humans would have two major threats to deal with-double trouble so to speak. Think of the future scenes of T2 and imagine those piles of skulls trying to devour the resistance fighters...now that's scary!

  4. I need to start writing down the shit I hear at work, too. Classic things you have right there!