Shattering Those Stereotypes (Don't Be a Dumb American)

I went to a soccer game in Tijuana about a month ago. I forgot to blog about it then, but there is a LOT to say about perceptions of Tijuana by Americans. 

Most people I told about the game said, "OH NO, you shouldn't go! It's unsafe! You might get kidnapped. YOU MIGHT DIE!" Man, it escalates quickly, doesn't it? 

It's really a load of crap. Every time I go to Mexico, I encounter a country of people that are warm, welcoming and charming. Yes, even in TJ. I'm not unaware of Mexico's problems--corrupt government, drugs, major crimes, cartels, etc. But last time I checked, the States can claim some of those same issues. 

As for that night and the game, I had a BLAST. Tijuana is not ritzy, but it's contagiously lively. I cringed at the fried pig skin being sold, I high-fived the old, energetic man behind me with an impressive moustache, I drank cheap beer, and I chanted non-repeatable soccer insults that were apparently the norm for an average Tuesday night game. There are quite a few 'Mericans I would love to send to a Mexican soccer game; maybe they can un-learn being a jackass and learn a thing or two from a different culture. 

As citizens of the world, we should make sure we're not being brainwashed by a sensationalized media (where did the journalism go?) and subsequently insulting an entire country with insensitive remarks that lack support. You show me a city without dangers, and I'll give you a gold star for finding utopia. I just try to be careful in whatever city I'm traveling in, whether it's London, Barcelona or Tijuana. Let's not paint Mexico as a "dangerous, horrible" place without ever stepping foot in it (my biggest pet peeve). 

An Ode to Public Transport

Public Transportation,

I miss you so very, very much. The tube, the Southwest Train service and (even) the buses...you were all my best mates. I even miss the District Line, and if you've spent some time living in London, you know that's laughable!

You used to carry my ass all around London Town. You even connected to larger trains that would bring me to Oxford and Paris. I didn't have to worry about someone picking me up or dropping me off. Power was in my hands!!! It was a new independence I had never felt before, one that surpassed the freedom I previously felt when driving (and man, I used to really love to drive). You convinced me that there's something more freeing about a tube or a train, because you can just plug in your earphones, and check your brain into space! This is a time when extremely deep thinking occurs--life changing thinking.

I'll admit, there were even times when I complained about you when you were a few minutes late. I regret that now. We are apart, and I completely feel your absence. Won't you come back to me?

With All My Love,

Ashley

***

In all seriousness, I MISS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SOOOOO MUCH IT HURTS! More than a fat kid who misses cake. A more appropriate analogy would be a fat kid who misses ALL good food after being sent to weight loss camp! 

When Did Bridal Showers Start To Look Like Weddings?

Ahhh, Bridal Showers...one of the infamous events before the big event. We Americans sure do like our events. Over the weekend, I went to the most extravagant Bridal Shower I have ever been to, and it was imperative to write about it...

Jenny, the Bride. 

On the one hand, I had a fun time celebrating with the bride and guests; on the other hand, I can't help but shake my head a little at the excess of our culture. 

Call me scrooge, but I just can't justify spending a ton of money on what should be considered a pre-event. I mean, look at those sugar cubes...have you ever seen prettier sugar cubes in your life?

Jenny (the bride) laughed it off, as it was planned by her wedding-lovin' mother-in-law. Of course, there is no real harm in this kind of party; these things can be a good time! But it undoubtedly sets a precedent in our culture where we are constantly trying to out do each other. What has resulted is weekend-long bachelorette parties at luxury spas in place of raunchy-one night jaunts in dive bars. When did America become so...obnoxiously glamorized? 

Don't think I'm a fan. And neither is my pocket book. 

Although, I couldn't complain about the Chambord (Black Raspberry Liqueur)! 

Defeating the Wedding Monster

***

I have two friends getting married this year. I am in both weddings. Let me preface this post by saying I am extremely happy for them both; furthermore, I know both couples really well, so they are going to be very fun weddings. But I have to get a few things off my chest...

When did weddings become such a monster? By monster, I mean an all-consuming, bank-depleting, brain-washing, fire-breathing animal that torches everything in sight?

That may have been a bit dramatic...But here's my beef with weddings:

1. They are f***ing overpriced. Venues, flowers, wedding dresses, bridesmaids dresses, presents, showers, pre-parties before the main event, more dresses, more presents = SUFFOCATION. Couples get so wrapped up in the fantasy of the big day, they forget about the reality of their bank account.

2. They are forceful in their traditions. Not wearing something blue on the big day? Sacrilegious! Thinking of skipping the wedding shower? You can't, that's a major event! Don't want to buy a big cake? No, sorry, you HAVE to...because, we said so.

***

WHEN did it get like this? WHERE did all these "traditions" come from? And why does everyone insist on following such a Nazi list to a tee? You know, the list:

• Engagement Party
• Engagement Photos
• Save-the-Dates
• Wedding Shower
• The Perfect Invitation
• Bachelorette Party
• Registry
• Venue
• The Perfect Dress
• The Perfect Bridesmaids Dresses
• The Perfect Flowers
• The "Best Day of Your Life"

Which brings me to my next point...

3. Everything has to be "perfect." People forget something they know quite well when planning for weddings--life is not perfect. Nothing goes exactly as planned. NOTHING IS PERFECT!!!! But time and time again, I see chicks freaking out that things are not going swimmingly. These women spend so much time and effort focusing on the "big day," they almost have a mental breakdown when one hair is out of place. That's too much pressure and stress for my liking!

***

I know I sound like a cynical, anti-wedding freak right at the moment. But remember, this is more of a vent session. I actually quite like weddings, if done the right way. When planning a wedding, here's what I think:

1. Do what you want, not what everyone else tells you to do. If you're big on all the traditions...go for it! But if all these pesky traditions are stressing you out, why have them? Who said professional engagement photos are a must? Who said you MUST send out save the dates? DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
2. Try not to put a gazillion expectations on one freakin' day. This takes some discipline and effort on your part, but realize that you're going to have much more fun if you're not expecting perfection.
3. Be aware of the monster. When things get overwhelming, make sure to question everything. Remember that you are dealing with a money-making industry persuading you to buy more. You are a human who is capable of philosophy and great intellect; you are not a drone. Cut out the things you don't need.

***

I'm sure you've figured out that I'm not a big wedding kind of girl. I'm a traveling gal! If I ever get married, I'm more apt to peace out for a cool destination wedding with immediate family--no rules, no regulations, and no matchy-matchy brisdemaids dresses. This is my personality, and my wedding would be sure to reflect it. I've had some friends, assuming that they know better, tell me "Well I will make sure you have more at your wedding!" No you won't...because that's not what I want, woman! (I also get really peeved when girls insist on talking about hypothetical weddings with me, when I don't have said groom on the horizon).

Your wedding should reflect your personality, whether it's a huge extravaganza, or no wedding at all. Don't let anyone--friends, the industry, the wedding monster--persuade you differently.

And What Have We Gained (Besides This New iPhone)?

This quote embodies all of the thoughts I've had as I watch a spinning globe, tilting out of control, trying to keep up with an increasingly faster-paced way of life:

"You call your thousand material devices 'labor-saving machinery,' yet you are forever 'busy.' With the multiplying of your machinery you grow increasingly fatigued, anxious, nervous, dissatisfied. Whatever you have, you want more; and wherever you are you want to go somewhere else...

You have a machine to dig the raw material for you...a machine to manufacture...a machine to transport...a machine to sweep and dust, one to carry messages, one to write, one to talk, one to sing, one to play, one to vote, one to sew...and a hundred others to do a hundred other things for you, and still you are the most nervously busy man in the world...your devices are neither time-saving or soul-saving machinery."

This quote was written over 40 years ago, and is even truer today. Machines have invaded our lives. We're taught that we need them to survive, as you've heard some half-jokingly say, "I can't live without my phone!"

The list of 'machines' is nearly endless: iPhones (for which I'm guilty), televisions, computers, mini-computers, online classes (this disturbs me greatly), and so on and so on.

We've essentially gained the whole world, right? Electronically we are impressive. But what is the cost? It's no enigma that crumbling community has been on the rise with all the added technology. When a computer becomes the go-to confidant over a human, there is a tragedy unfolding before us.

What I am getting at, and what the above quote is getting at, is not the abundance of machines; but rather, the loss of our souls because of it.

***

Often times, I know my rants are harsh and edging on absolute. I've become grumpier in my old age. Even when I pull a time travel on my blog and visit posts past, there is a bright-eyed, more optimistic Ashley to be found. While I like to still think I have some optimism, I've lost a lot of my 'there's beauty to be found in everything' attitude...

I'd like to go back to that place, I think.

Unlikely Ways to Meet Friends and Comrades

It happens when I'm walking downtown, frequenting a ritzy coffee shop or buying an overpriced sandwich, that I see a homeless woman or man sleeping on the side of the street. In this moment my heart breaks in two.

So many missions and humanitarian efforts focus their attention overseas. This is valid, but the poverty before us should not be walked around and treated as an inconvenience on the side of the road.

My biggest pet peeve is the dismissal of all homeless as crazy, self-centered addicts who lack discipline. The difference between some of the addicts on the street and Lindsay Lohan is that not everyone can afford to blow millions at rehab centers in Malibu. Sure, some of the homeless have addictions, but who among us is not addicted to something? Why is the CEO who is greedy for money somehow praised as a go-getter who has his head on straight? Why are some addictions acceptable and others taboo?

It's been too long since I've ventured out to feed the homeless. And frankly, I haven't done it enough. But every time I've "braved the streets" to talk with those sitting on the side of the road, I've been more than pleasantly surprised. Tales of broken hearts and lives taking wrong turns are shared, and I find that these people are just like me, with the same everlasting hope for a better life. And soon I find I'm conversing with an old buddy who's also dying to take the next plane to Italy, who wishes on the same star as I do, who would kill for a gourmet cup of coffee. I've found a comrade who just happens to have less privilege than me.

I've got to get out there again. Too often I talk about doing grand and lofty things, then get caught up in my own sorrows or distractions and never do it. But as MLK Jr. says, "One of the great tragedies of life is that men seldom bridge the gulf between practice and profession, between doing and saying. A persistent schizophrenia leaves so many of us tragically divided against ourselves."

Everyone reaches this conclusion sooner or later: we are connected in our humanness, no matter our station in life. Our tears, our laughter, our sadness, our pain are all common. We are one. When we do not help one another we engage in the deadening of society, the wilting of our hearts, the shutting down of our souls.

Awake, children. Help your brother. Help your sister. Help your friend.

Marinating.

Last Wednesday, I went to a student's wedding. They were getting wed after just dating for 6 months--shotgun!

When I had asked the groom, "Wow, isn't that a little fast?"

He said, "I just knew. I knew."

Hmmm...

This makes me think about a lot a things. Is it true that when you find "the one" (put in quotations for a reason) that things are more uncomplicated? More simplified?

I think I have this jaded view of love, a view that was created through past bad experiences, but one that's hard for me to shake. I want to believe in the goodness of love, but mostly come to the conclusion that most men just have a one track mind, which makes me want to run the other way.

This has been one of those weeks where I've become a bit agitated with guy attention. And I always get in these moods when I feel overwhelmed by too many guys...the kind of mood where I'd like to be left alone. Don't mind my mood. And don't go trying to cheer me up. I'm not sad, I'm just marinating in these thoughts. Just for tonight though, my optimism is sure to make a shining return tomorrow.

*It didn't help that I watched Closer the other night. Talk about a movie that makes you rethink the validity of love!

Favorite Thing Thursday: Why My Curls are a Reflection of My Soul

Last week, a good guy friend of mine insinuated that he preferred my hair straight, rather than curly. He further added that overall, guys respond better to me when I straighten my hair.

Although he meant well, this got my blood boiling a little.

Firstly, why should I straighten my hair simply based on someone else's perception of me? Furthermore, did he really use 'impressing guys' as a foundation for his argument? Really?

Adding onto those two points, my anger stemmed from somewhere even deeper than that. In high school, I used to straighten my hair everyday. It became a ritual out of obedience to a society that told me straight hair was in. My Seventeen Magazine would come in the mail, and religiously, I would read it front to back, soaking in all the make-up, hair and exercise tips.

Somewhere along the line (probably in college), I realized that trying to obtain perfection was not only exhausting, but insatiable. Reaching that epiphany allowed my personality to bloom in a way it never could before. It also got me thinking, "What if I air-dryed my hair?" It's funny, I had never thought to do so before.

The first day I wore my hair curly, I felt free. My curly hair is one of my favorite features. Despite it's unruliness, it's a reflection of me, a unique identifier of Ashley.

I don't mean for this to sound like a complete feminist manifesto; however, there is something so very satisfying about accepting a part of yourself in its natural state. This rings even truer if you're a woman, because we're always being told that we have to change ourselves. Whether it's to impress or to compete, there are a plethora of reasons why women are convinced to strive for "more."

Of course, I still like make-up and fashion. And occasionally, yes, I do straighten my hair. To say that I don't care at all about what others think would be a lie. However, the trick is learning that it's all in my hands, and no one else's. If I feel like wearing a cute dress one day, I will. Adversely, if I feel like venturing out in sweatpants and without an ounce of make-up on, I will. It's my choice.

I choose my hairstyle, I choose my life, I choose my destiny.

One Nation, One Flag, Nothing Else

I'm feeling a little feisty this week, and I felt like venting about something that has bothered me for quite sometime. With it being the 150th anniversary of the Civil War (today), it seems appropriate.

We are the UNITED States. United. So why is it, when I visit the south, I still see the Confederate Flag up?

I've been given many excuses for this: it's about Southern pride, tradition, heritage. But you cannot leave out that it is a blatant symbol of slavery. You cannot remove a flag from its original intended purpose, that is, to be a symbol.

I, more than anyone, understand wanting to connect to your heritage. I am all about Turkish culture. However, when something from your heritage (i.e. a flag) emits emotions of fear and pain from more than half of the population, one should not be so proud of that thing.

Furthermore, all regional flags in the U.S. should have been thrown out when we created the AMERICAN FLAG. We are not regions with different flags, but one nation with one flag. I would have the same rant if the Union decided they were gonna fly their Civil War flag. Because, as we all know, the Civil War is OVER and has been settled. So why still carry symbols from that blood bath? We need to move forward with one flag that unites us.

I'll leave you with a line from my Dad...whenever he would visit the South, he would inevitably hear, "The South shall rise again!" To which, he would respond with, "High enough to kiss a Yankee's ass!" But hey guys, really, let's try to get along.

This is Gross!

So I thought I would share... (click on picture to enlarge)


Via: OnlineSchools.org

Perfectly Acceptable Ashley

It's perfectly acceptable:

• to turn off your phone until the late afternoon as a virtual "Do Not Disturb" sign.

• to drink more than one cup of coffee a day, especially if it is the yummy foamy kind.

• to watch ghastly bad chick flicks, that have no real importance as works of art, but still produce a preteen-esque smile across your face. This includes: What a Girl Wants, A Walk to Remember and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, among others that are even more embarrassing to mention.

^

Just thought I would do this sometimes, as a sort of pseudo-series. A list every now and again of things I wanna do, cause I wanna do it! Just because.

On a different subject all together, Robyn's second album (out of three) is released today! Love that girl! Yayyyy!

I Miss You

That "You" I'm talking about is old R&B, from the 90s and before...

and



and



and



Is there even a such thing as R&B anymore? Do the acts even sing anymore? Because all I hear are machines, auto-tuners and synthesizers. I miss the days when singers had to sing...

Favorite Thing Thursday: Because I'm the Sweetener

For those of you that don't now, right before the photo challenge, I had begun a series of posts called Favorite Thing Thursday in which I showcase a favorite thing of mine. So far, I've blogged about my love of fortune cookies, my zeal for road trips, and my exploration into old tunes.

To preface this week, let me say that my whole life I've been called "sweet." It is apparently the number one word to describe me. This might be a combination of my niceness and shyness, who knows! That is why my next favorite thing might be contradictory to my personality.

It's not so much a favorite thing; rather, it's a preference:

As I've gotten older, I realize how much I like things unsweetened. A list:

• Ice Tea! SO GOOD with just a lemon slice. I can hardly choke down Southern Sweet Tea.
• Yogurt. This has probably stemmed from my many visits to Turkey, and the consumption of a lot of good, healthy, tasty (!) plain yogurt. They even have yogurt drinks in Turkey! I look at the back of some yogurt cups (ahem, Yoplait...) and see that they've added 20 grams of sugar. It's just not necessary!
• Coffee. I add sugar sometimes, but very little. My coffee addiction has produced an appreciation for the taste of pure coffee (cream is still a must).
• Juice. Like yogurt, why add all that damn sugar? It angers me a little.

My conclusion? America is over-sweetened and needs to calm the sugar habit a little.

Photo Challenge Finale (with a side of philosophy)

Day 19 - A favorite picture of yours

my nephew, Sebastian :)

Day 20 - Any picture that you want!

The picture above is of St. Germaine in Paris. It was my favorite part of the whole city.

St. Germaine doesn't have any flashy clubs or excess, it isn't overly pretentious or trying to be something it's not; it just is. I find places (and people) like this to be the most beautiful--a natural beauty that is comfortable. You walk around this place and your soul is content and at rest, because this place is content and at rest.

I want my life to embody this very idea. I want to possess a real beauty; meaning, I want my life to unfold naturally, not as a result of planned events (oh, I must get married at this age, have this type of job and drive this sort of car). I'm not interested in formulas or age limits; although, it's easy to get wrapped up in this if not careful.

What are all these labels we stamp upon each other? Adult, adolescent, cougar, middle-aged man, quarter-life crisis and so on, and so on until we start choking on our words, because we realize that no one can truly fit any of these molds. Like, what does it mean to be an adult? My answer may vary from yours, but we sure know society's answer--marriage, kids, job.

I am simply concerned with living my life the way that works the best for me. Let's call it the Ashley Route.

***

How did I get to all this from a picture? I've been doing this photo challenge for so long, I haven't had a big meaty post for awhile, and I guess I had to spill this out of me. Especially after reading all these recent articles on what it means to be a 20-something.

Why is that even a relevant question? The question should be, "What does it mean to be a person?"

With every year, I find that people can only truly live if they are free to be unique. It's the difference between St. Germaine in Paris, and the Paris Casino in Las Vegas--one has followed its own path, and the other is just trying too hard.

My Most Pathetic Post (Gotta have at least one)

Feeling a sense of longing as I write this. I hate to be a sick little puppy.

Here’s what went down this past week.

I reconnected with an acquaintance; I hardly knew him before. But we both happened to go to the same engagement party. And after talking with him for about an hour, along with flirting and laughing, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t smitten. I hate that word. Smitten. But I think it’s appropriate here.

He contacted me a couple days later, and gave me his number, and said “Call me/text me sometime.”

So I did, which I rarely do with guys. I had jury duty, and was bored, and thought, “Hmmm...I’ll see if he’ll respond.” And respond he did, and continued to talk with me for about an hour. This occurrence, mixed with my smitten-ness, inevitably made me believe something was a‘ brewin‘ there. And I was excited about it.

I’m cringing as I write this. Because all of two days later, I come to find out he has a new girlfriend. And I think, “Why did you even bother talking to me at all when you were about to date this girl? Why the attention?”

And then I realize, I think I completely took it all the wrong way. What I took as flirting and interest was just friendliness on his part. And I feel idiotic. Just because this good-looking, hilarious guy waltzes into my life for one night, I’m suddenly open to the idea of dating him and opening my heart?

Why?

I’m interested behind the psychology of this. Is it that some people just really affect you in a kind of primal and rapid way? Or...was it me? Was it that I was looking for love somehow? Because sometimes, yes, I am tired of being the eternal single girl.

But it was more than being discontented with singledom. Because when you find a guy that fulfills a lot of your desires/criteria for the perfect partner, it’s hard to not be...

Smitten.

And so I sit here with an annoying ache over all of it, while hating myself for aching over something so brief, so fleeting. How silly of me.And I hate even coming across as extremely insecure to all of you, but I feel the need to spill all of these toxic thoughts bubbling and gurgling inside of me.

Oh, I am being so OVER DRAMATIC RIGHT NOW. Don’t mind me. I find the humor in all of this, I really do.

Moreover, I know the truth behind all of this. That truth being the fantasy we build up in our minds always overrides the reality of the situation. Man, I was going off of major fantasy mode--I built a skyscraper for this guy in my mind!And now that the reality is revealed, it is kinda hard to accept. Because fantasy is always more fun.

So as I swallow the huge pill of truth (I can feel it maneuvering down my throat), I remember that God has an ultimate plan for my life that I cannot even imagine...and yes, I believe in some form of soul mates.

But for once, JUST ONCE, I’d like to not be logical Ashley, and just kind of wallow in a little bit of dramatic indulgence. Because it’s my pity party (for just tonight) and I’ll cry if I want to.

Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really...

Laura: Delivers?

Rob: Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so...

P.S. I f you read this WHOLE post, you get a pat on the back! It is long and sad, in a very pathetic way. haha. I can’t help but be self-deprecating right now.

Finding Mr. Darcy

Note: I've written posts like this before, a few times over; however, it's a way to keep myself accountable, to not fall victim to the pressures of society to have a boyfriend. After explaining this, you can continue with the post...

Finding Mr. Darcy.

What does that mean to you?

To me, it means, finding a man of good character. After reading Pride & Prejudice, as every girl should (thanks Michelle), is is easy to see that the character of Fitzwilliam Darcy is a pretty damn good man. And he's not good in a perfect way. Not like Edward in Twilight. Mr. Darcy is flawed. He is fictional, yes, but not a fantasy (if your definition of a fantasy means something that is not of this world, unrealistic).

Mr. Darcy's good character is something that is most definitely attainable in this world.

This is why I never want to settle. Never.

And I thought I didn't settle in the past. I thought I loved J. But J was not a man of good character. He only seemed to be a man of good character.

The best information I've ever heard in dealing with love is from Randy Pausch, the Last Lecture Professor. He said, "Ignore everything a guy says, and only pay attention to what he does." He said this in reference to girls, knowing quite well that girls are suckers for words: promises and poetry and pretty speeches. We believe them, and mistake them for truth.

So I believe that this is how you really test men: you watch what they do. Do they volunteer? Do they think of others? Do they think of you? In what ways do they show it? This goes for testing women as well.

Now don't think I am extremely bitter in love. I mean, I may be a little bitter. ha. But I believe in lasting relationships and true love. I really do.

I only write this to warn women, and warn myself: that dating men simply to calm the sting of loneliness is a dangerous game, that women should be choosy in who they are dating, that we have the right to expect a lot for ourselves. We are worth it.

Ok, ok, ok. This rant is done with.

I think this is coming from a place of my sister (who is 20 years my senior) not understanding my dating life (or lack thereof). Why do I always have to explain this concept to people without them looking at me like I am disease?

Well, I'm different...get over it!!

Rings Everywhere!

Found out last night that my good friend Jaclyn is engaged. She is the first out of my goooood friends to get married. Totally strange. But fitting for her. Jaclyn is sensible, smart and doesn't just jump into things. I do approve of this young marriage (because my approval is needed--ha).

Still it's really weird to see friends around me marryin' up a storm (I'm going to a wedding in November, as well). Maybe it's weird to me because I'm just not on that track. My mind is in no place to get married, and to who, anyway? My boyfriend is traveling...the open road. My love is the idea of endless possibilities.

I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet someone that totally knocks me off my feet. Until then, I don't really feel the pressure. I don't understand women that start saying things like, "But I'm ready to get married!" without having a guy in their lives. Why are you obsessing over something that is not even of prevalence in your life?

Anyway, not to turn marriage into a negative; because, if done correctly, it's quite beautiful.

On that note, I'm very happy for my friend Jackizzle...CONGRATS!!!!!

MJ and I go way back.

I went dancing for a little last night (after eating an ice cream sundae at Ghiradelli's)...now that's a good night!

I noticed that it is now popular to play Michael Jackson in the clubs.

How funny, when I used to have to beg DJs to play MJ just a few short months ago. You hear that kiddies?!? I didn't need his death to capture my attention and go, "Wow, that Michael has some great dance songs..."

I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, fools.

The life of a trend setter is hard *brushes dirt off of shoulder*

To the Lonely-Hearted

America...oh dear America. You move way, way too fast. You're speeding at a pace that gives me a migraine. And America--you infiltrate my mind with images and paper-ring promises of happiness--all material emptiness that does not quench this inner thirst.

***

I was talking with some girls last night and I think we cracked the code on one of America's hugest problems. We have lost the idea of community. Whenever I visit Turkey, there are people all about at night: talking to their neighbors, chuckling and just enjoying each others company. It is a cultural dance that involves an awakening of the heart.

Cut to America and you'll find the nighttime to be lonely. Televisions are on and people have crashed from consuming far too much caffeine. But we have lovely houses, now don't we? And a new pair of shoes to boot. At least that will put a smile on our faces for a minute or so.

This is not to say that Turkish people don't watch TV or that Americans don't know how to have relationships; however, it is clear America is starting to miss the real point of life. We have become drones--void of passion and sincerity, just trudging through another day. Ask anyone who has been to lively places in Europe and then ask them why they found them lively. Because the people are alive.

And what have we replaced that community with? Boyfriends. And girlfriends. We hang out with one person for the majority of the week. We invest our heart and soul into one being. And when a break-up occurs, we are left completely distraught. We have lost our whole community.

I know that I am generalizing here. But it's not such a stretch to generalize America. We got lots of work to do! Look around and see all the lost, broken faces. They are the lonely-hearted.

But there are some Americans who have it right, who see past the fakeness.

I'm writing this here because I want you all to really think about this. Maybe to help me think of ways to make it better. It can be better.

There is a God, a Supreme Being that offers us more in life. And it can be so much better.

Overgrown Children, the Whole Lot of Us

I took a break from reading High Fidelity from when I started it a couple months ago...but I have resumed.

Can I just say Nick Hornby is a brilliant writer? I love this passage from the book:

None of us is young anymore, but what has just taken place could have happened when I was sixteen, or twenty, or twenty-five. We got to adolescence and just stopped dead; we drew up the map and left the boundaries exactly as they were.

Basically, that is dead on. And I see it everyday on the playground working with kids. Battles, fights, wars that you've swear you've seen on the nightly news acted out by adults. "I've got the better toy" turns into "I've got the better car" as we age. It's all silly, it's all childish. We are overgrown children.

Yeah, I'll admit that we've matured a little. We've become supposedly smarter, read more books by world-renown philosophers, and contemplated the meaning of life. But when it comes down to the essence of a fight, in the heat of the moment, we a act almost exactly the way we did when we were 5.

Another example: this little boy Isaiah invited to me to his baseball game this Saturday, cause he really wants me to come see him play. He's one of my favorite little boys ever, so of course I am overjoyed by this request. But why else am I happy? This little boy is including me. He's inviting me to his "birthday party," so to speak. You never wanted to be the kid that wasn't invited.

I'm not a psychologist, but this stuff is not too hard to figure out. And it all makes me laugh a little. And makes me feel crazy for ever thinking I am an actual adult.