Infactuated with the Idea of Love

So I have this dvd buying addiction, I think. I've bought 3 in the last 2 weeks, I think. But they are all movies that I adore.

The one I bought today and watched repeatedly the whole day (while avoiding my report for summerschool)? The Notebook, fo shizzle.

I looooooovvve The Notebook. But it also makes me bitter. It makes me want a love like that, but I have no where to go and no one to find it with. It's movie-love, or ideal love. Doesn't really seem real, but I want it to be real. I want to find that love.

This must sound funny coming from a 20-year-old. But I'd rather just skip the equation and head right over to the solution. God, could you just send me the guy I'm gonna marry right now? I'm sure God is snickering at that question. If only life were so easy.

And not everyone marries, I know. My aunt isn't married. But is she happy? I'm not sure that I know. It's not even about getting married, it's more about getting love.

I'm making a circular argument here, aren't I? It just doesn't make sense. But nothing rarely does until it's experienced, I suppose. This isn't about wanting what I can't have, but more about wanting what seems natural to humans--the ability to love and have love. To me, that seems to be the greatest thing a human can do.