My Childish Ways

Deviating from all my nonsense talk about the future, let me talk about the present (what an idea!).

I'm told often by people of all ages that I'm mature for my age (whatever that entails). I do have an immature side, however. I have a problem when it comes to emotions, basically when I get mad.

I don't throw tantrums, I don't spit at anyone (although that would be amusing), I don't kick or scream. I just become silent. I think I do this because it really tends to get to people. Especially because I'm usually so cheerful. Keeping a stoic face tends to get on people's nerves. After 10-15 minutes of people asking me questions when I'm pissed off, and me answering with one word, un-ashley-like answers, people get this exasperated look on their faces and say, "Ashley, what is wrong with you?!"

That's when I proceed to piss them off more and answer, "Nothing," with that same stoic face. It's like a stupid game that I play with people.

Isn't that really immature? Yeah, I realize it. But it's how I deal with anger. I guess it's my way of sending major signals that I am not happy.

I bring this up because I was doing it tonight...and I realized my immaturity half way through. I'm not sure how to go about stopping it. I guess realizing it and writing about it is the first step.