I Have a Dream...

Not in the Martin Luther King Jr. sense, but a dream, none the less.

I'll be moving soon (within the next two weeks), and with any big change like that, one contemplates life.

I've made progress in the last year. Lots of progress! I've healed a lot, my heart has been mended from past pain. However, there is still work to do.

My hope and my prayer for the next few months is that I learn to love and to trust without barriers. I am a person that builds huge walls as a defense. It will be a process to take down each stone, one by one. But it is a process I must go through. Walls I have built won't necessarily keep pain away; they will, however, keep love away. I want to learn to trust and love the people around me, I want to give my whole self, not just pieces of myself.

Besides referring to friends, I am most definitely talking about lovers. I hope to one day love someone completely. To reach a point of no hesitation. To love without barrier.

I went to a wedding yesterday, and a priest that I've known since childhood was officiating the wedding. What he spoke about was profound and resonated with me. He said, "Not everyone experiences the direct love of God. There are very few people who experience that kind of spirituality. However, God's love is often mediated through human love. From the protection of a parent, to the kiss of a lover. This is the way people can experience God, through each other. We learn to love one another the way God loves us."

This is a beautiful concept, and so true. I am that person that has experienced God's direct love. I believe everyone should experience this (and open themselves up for it). However, I don't want to miss out on that human love, a different expression of God's love.

Did you know? Today is the first day of summer. The sun will be out the longest today than it will the rest of the year.

That means today is the brightest day. Today I take a little of that light with me, to sustain me in this dream that I have. A dream to give the idea of love a chance, and not always push it away. A dream to grow with each day, taking down one stone at a time. So that eventually my barriers are low, and my heart is full with all the love it has received.

Some lyrics to "I Have a Dream" from Mamma Mia! :

I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything...

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream