Found out last night that my good friend Jaclyn is engaged. She is the first out of my goooood friends to get married. Totally strange. But fitting for her. Jaclyn is sensible, smart and doesn't just jump into things. I do approve of this young marriage (because my approval is needed--ha).
Still it's really weird to see friends around me marryin' up a storm (I'm going to a wedding in November, as well). Maybe it's weird to me because I'm just not on that track. My mind is in no place to get married, and to who, anyway? My boyfriend is traveling...the open road. My love is the idea of endless possibilities.
I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet someone that totally knocks me off my feet. Until then, I don't really feel the pressure. I don't understand women that start saying things like, "But I'm ready to get married!" without having a guy in their lives. Why are you obsessing over something that is not even of prevalence in your life?
Anyway, not to turn marriage into a negative; because, if done correctly, it's quite beautiful.
On that note, I'm very happy for my friend Jackizzle...CONGRATS!!!!!
I went to two weddings this past summer, one for my very good friend's older sister, and the other for a good friend I've known since I was about 10. My oldest friend in the world, whom I've known since I was about 4, is getting married next year, and it's wonderful but WEIRD as heck.
ReplyDeleteMy housemate wants nothing more than to get married and be a 'good mother and a good wife'. She talks about it all the time and it freaks the heck out of me. I am in no way ready to get married, or even think about it. At this point in my life I don't think I even want to, or have kids, and that's a total turn-around from my thinking a couple of years ago. I know that time will come but right now is not that time.
But congratulations to Jaclyn (who nearly shares my name but not quite!).
Jax x
Congratulations to your friend. I am still not sure on the marriage topic. I love the idea, but I know that the reality does not hold to the ideal.
ReplyDeleteNot trying to be negative. I had a boss recently who was married, but who said was already married in his head...the formality was unnecessary for him. It was more of a civil rights movement, when he thought Prop 8 was going to set in motion homosexual marriage. Even though it didn't go the way he planned, the marriage became more arbitrary, other than to show the symbolic representation of what they already believed in.
Sorry. Marriage as a concept is lovely. Marriage to another person may not be so.
jackie--as my dad would say, we still "have too much vinegar" in our system. This is the time to be young, and while settling down works for a select few now, not for us! :P
ReplyDeleteant-- I still believe in marriage. My parents are still married, for 30+ years! It's not perfect, but they are happy together and need each other. That gives me hope for marriage, and that one day I will have a good hubby by my side, if I pick carefully :) Also, my understanding is that marriage can only really be done right if done with God in the relationship as well.
Divorces still happen even with all this, yet I still somehow have hope.
I absolutely believe in marriage, too. Ashley, you sound so much like me at times. I remember having the same thought when I was ages 24-26. How everyone was getting married and how I just wasn't the least bit ready for it.
ReplyDeleteBut then one day (almost as if it happened overnight) it seemed like all the good guys were taken and that it was going to be a challenge to find a guy who wasn't divorced or had a kid from a previous relationship. Not that I judge anyone who is divorced (my boyfriend is divorced), but it's just that the pickings get slimmer. Or maybe not even that - It's just harder to find someone who doesn't already have some "history" behind them. But that's NOT a reason to get married now! It has to be the right person. So I agree with how you see it.
Even so, I must admit I can understand (now) about women who say they are ready for a family. I have been turning the concept over in my mind for a little while. I have to admit, though, that my "clock" has a lot to do with it (I'll be 29 soon). I sure wish I were man so I wouldn't have to think about the clock.
Ah well, it's all in God's hands. Congratulations to your girlfriend - and to you, for being happy with where you are!
D.
A lot of my friends are getting married/just got married recently. One of my best friends from high school just bought a house with his long-time girlfriend...and I have a few more female high school/college friends who are having kids.
ReplyDeleteI think those last two are what shock me the most. I have enough trouble maintaining an apartment - I can't even imagine owning a house, and I can't even think about being a father yet. I'm bad enough at making sure the cat has food and water...I'd definitely screw things up with a kid.
For my Dad and his wife, they had gone through bad marriages, and didn't want to have a big ceremony. They kind of eloped in Tahoe and didn't tell anybody about it until later.
ReplyDeleteI have a great and terrible fear, love, and doubt with marriage. I believe in the idea, but not in the people who are behind it all the time. I believe in the idea of falling in love, and the promise of equality. I also believe that, whether I like it or not, I am still an idealist, and that reality unsettles my stomach. I know my beliefs would like to have a Catholic wedding, but that in truth I would be happy with someone who I can trust and confide in. Right now, God is that person. Love with another person comes later, when I learn to trust a little better.
I do believe you have a great deal of trust in people, and I admire that. I also believe that you are a great lover of personal freedoms, and wish to wander in your young age. I am sure your wonderful insight into life will attract many decent guys, whenever you feel the time is right. All the best for you, weblog buddy.
Love tends to find you when you're least ready for it, or when it can be the biggest possible inconvenience on your life. Totally worth it though... just make sure you live stream your wedding so we can all watch!
ReplyDeletewow jay! I don't think I've ever heard you be so serious! haha. But you're totally right.
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