11.01.2011

Going and Going Strong

Ahhhhhh.

Hear that? That's the sound of Ashley breathing easy.

I want to say that the past two months have been particularly challenging for me. Being sad is a perpetual feeling. It grows upon itself, like a fast-moving disease, attacking all the functions of the body, until you've even forgotten how to smile.

However...

I've made a turn-around. I've found myself dreaming big again. You know, the kind of dreaming big you do when you're five, when you think anything is possible, including floating off to the moon in a hot air balloon.

I've been smiling a lot more. And telling jokes in that nerdy Ashley way. And eating ice cream.

I think this transformation happened when I realized, really realized, that I'm not actually trapped. It's about realizing that there are options and ways out, no matter what the circumstance is. It even helps to write down those options, so they are staring back you and calling out your name, "Ashley! Ashley! Pick me! Take this path!"

To which you can reply, "I just might!"

Not that I spend my nights talking to paper. *ahem*

I get that this is a process that takes time, but some weights have been lifted. I'm feeling good.


***

I'll end with a knowing smile and the infallible words of Dr. Suess, who I am convinced wrote Oh The Places You'll Go! more for adults than for children:


I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups

can happen to you.

You can get all hung up

in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done...

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

6 comments:

  1. The past two months were rough for me emotionally, too. I think I'm finally starting to break out of my sadness shell which is good because today starts my birthday month and I can't be sad during my birthday month! :)

    So happy to hear you're finding yourself again. Love everything you wrote here. So, so true.

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  2. So, we all crumble. It has been a tough two years, but the last six months, wooweee! I'm just now thinking about a move. Don't know if it'l happen, but I've got my eye on you, New England. It's always been the place I felt the happiest. We'll see.

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  3. I'm so glad that you're feeling a lot better! The Dr Seuss quote summed it up perfectly. It's funny that you wrote this, because I wrote one so similar today as well.

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  4. Keep on making shit happen and going for what you're passionate about - it inspires me (and others I'm sure) to try and do the same. :) Have a great first day in class this week!

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  5. Imagine a world where there is infinite beauty. Where every moment is one of liberation, a potential to be free and do anything. Where you are always happy, unconditionally. When anything sad comes, or anything bad comes, it just goes away. And you're free again. Imagine it all around you, and see yourself at the center of it. Know that you can be there at anytime.

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  6. Has there been something in the air about these past two months and being down? Is it the inevitability of the onset of winter?? I don't get it, but it seems to be a theme.

    I'm glad to hear that you're busting out and doing something.

    ReplyDelete

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