I believe I am turning a small but significant corner.
The worst part about sadness--or, dare we say depression--is that life looks like one long, taupe-colored hallway that leads to nothing. Everyday seems like the same boring occurrence. In this state of mind, life unfortunately starts to lose its meaning. It matters not if you're religious or atheist, a go-getter or a homebody--depression can affect everyone.
Once I figured out there are sneaky corners to turn into off the proverbial hallway, I started to see said hallway for what it was: something I needed to get through, but not my ultimate destination. Hallways are uninteresting passageways. They are not particularly enjoyable. They hardly ever contain art, music, or even life; however, they are connectors to the place you are trying to get to. I'm not even sure hallways have a meaning. I don't think we were "meant to have sad times in life" more so than sad times inevitably happen, and the way we choose to navigate the sadness is where the meaning is found.
In my hallway I've chosen to accept, trudge forward, turn the corner, and eventually find the room I'm meant to get to. And let me tell you, the most important step out of all these things is acceptance. I've accepted that this has been a rough period in my life and simply, I cannot be happy all the time. A quote from a great book:
"If you're miserable, there's nothing really wrong with that, but if you're hating being miserable, then it's hell. If you're miserable and not hating it, you'll probably move through it pretty quickly. Experiences do move along quickly when we're present and not resisting."
The book goes on to say we need to be compassionate toward ourselves during these times of misery. Accept that you are feeling sad, but don't hate yourself for feeling that way.
Going back to the hallway, the corner I've turned is the result of a couple changes I've made. If they pan out, I'll talk more about them later--watch this space! I'm still wandering the hallway, but feeling a little less lost. I think I've finally figured out that I don't have to figure it all out. Somedays are just made for being. We're not always supposed to know what the future holds, but rather remain in the present, content with not knowing. There's something a little freeing in that.