Ashley's Steps for Getting Over Reverse Culture Shock (Step 3)

DUN DUN DUN... Here is the last step on how I've been getting over reverse culture shock...

3. Create Something Pretty Out of the Pain

The irony of this blog post is that it is itself a tool in helping with my recovery of reverse culture shock. Reflection is a important step to getting through culture shock and reverse culture shock. While keeping a journal or blog might seem juvenile to some, it's interesting how all pride flies out of the window once you actually start writing your feelings. This can be a simple statement of "Today I feel..." and finishing that sentence with your thoughts on how it's been to be back.

Beyond writing, making a photo album of sorts has helped me TREMENDOUSLY. It might seem painful to drudge up photos of your home abroad, but it actually does help. I've been using Shutterfly to compile a book of photos (and you can add text!) on my year abroad. It makes my memories into something tangible that I can share.

Both of these things have been an exercise in reflecting on my great experience and expressing my grief over saying goodbye to it.



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I could go on with more steps, but I'll stop the series here. Following these steps have helped me with my sadness over London, although some days I really miss it. I joke sometimes that London was a break-up of sorts. I loved it so, but we weren't gonna get married, so it's time to move on!

The important thing to remember is that this is a PROCESS. Note the use of the word 'getting' in the title. I think there will always be that part of me that wants to hop on a plane and go live in London again. It's the part of me that thrives off of adventure and new experiences. What I want to focus that energy on now is having new experiences in my hometown. I don't have to hop on a plane every time I want adventure. I'll always be a traveler, of course; but this is not the only interesting thing about me. Time to work on the other aspects of Ashley.

Lastly, I'm planning a trip to London next summer for my graduation. I've heard this is the last step in closure: going back to the place you lived and saying a final farewell.

Until then, London. Now I'll be mentioning you less and less on the blog. As it should be, old chap!

Ashley's Steps for Getting Over Reverse Culture Shock (Step 2)

Continuning the series on how I've been getting over the reentry process into the United States...

2. Perspective

As I wrote about a few days ago, my friend's mom died. I hate that it takes something like death to give us a proper kick in the ass, but man...that's what it took for me. I realized how silly I was being to miss a city, a thing that still exists and I can still visit. I haven't lost anything really, I've just gained an experience--one that was invaluable and can't be taken away. 

I won't see my mom's friend again. At least not in this life. It's more final, and much more serious than me being mopey over a city. 

I figured out that I was fantasizing about London. But truth is, I had a hard time adjusting there too. I had many a boring night (probably during those bad winter months) watching TV marathons, just like I did in America. I had sad moments, moments of extreme homesickness in where I felt lethargic and depressed. Life was not all roses and rainbows while abroad, so I've learned that I shouldn't paint that inaccurate picture.

Make sure that while you are getting over reverse culture shock you keep a little perspective. You haven't lost something, you've gained something grand. There's nowhere else to go but forward. 

Ashley's Steps for Getting Over Reverse Culture Shock

Oh, I'm going through it. London is in the rear view mirror, and instead of staring at it longingly like a lost little puppy, I know it's time to move forward. Admittedly, I am someone that has a hard time of letting go. And so, I thought I would write a series on returning home after living abroad. In hopes of helping others dealing with the return, as well as helping myself! Onto step number 1...

1. Talk to Other Ex-Expats

This tip has probably helped me the most. There's something really comforting in having a comrade; they are a fellow soldier waging the battle. 

Take my friend Theresa, who lived in Japan for 3 years before returning to the States. I'm pretty sure I've hit her up for advice (too) many times since getting back. I specifically seek Theresa out for an afternoon beer sesh, because she doesn't get mad at me for complaining about missing the expat life for the 900,562 time! I always fear that I'm talking my San Diego friends ears off when yammering about London. Theresa doesn't mind her ears being talked off. She understands. 

Furthermore, there's something really cathartic in talking it out with someone who's been there and lived your frustrations and sadness. Human connection and all that jazz. I suppose this tip sounds obvious, but it's extremely important to seek out those people who have lived abroad. Chances are they've experienced the same depths of sadness you're feeling right now. And they offer better advice than anyone else can offer. They even excuse your moodiness. 

Hmmm, maybe I can start a support group of ex-expats (with beer, there should always be beer).