3.01.2005

the little ashley that could

Today I feel a bit like a zombie. I got enough sleep, but it's just one of those days where i can't really think or function. I need somekind of peppy song to wake up my mind right now. Where's George Michael when I need him? "Wake me up, before you go go, don't leave hanging here like a yoyo...."

I'm kidding of course! Oh man, the eighties are definitely a decade to laugh at.

So of course when I get in these zombie-like moods I break out the caffiene. Really now, coffee is a drug. There's no way around it. And I have this french vanilla cream inside, mmmmm....it brings me back to a day in 4th grade when my friend revealed to me that you could drink your parents creamer by itself, and I then proceeded to drink a whole glass of it. You may cringe at that thought, but it was "lip-smakin'" good and I had a sugar high for about 4 hours. Not that I needed it at that age.

By the way, why do we have all that energy when we're younger? I could use some now. And to think, I used to despise nap time. Man, if there was a nap time 101 in college, that would be the most popular class ever.

Back in 4th grade, I remember I had the feeling that I could take on the world, super hero style...I believed whole-heartedly that "you can do anything you put your mind to." It's a bit depressing to think how much I've changed since then and how much I always doubt myself. Sometimes I think it really would be nice to stay a kid forever. To have that ignorance about the world was definitely a blessing sometimes. Those were the days where I would play X-men all day (and be Storm, of course), roll around in the mud (and not worry about trying to look girly) and most importantly, just be completely myself.

Anyways, I've completely sidetracked here, and really I'm procrastinating from studying...but hopefully, someday, I can revisit the days of believeving COMPLETELY in myself (none of this "well maybe I can do it" crap). I'll go back to some wise words from a book I used to love..."I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." I think I can graduate. I think I can get a good job. I think I can live life without being so scared of it. At least, I'll try my hardest.

2 comments:

  1. ah, storm is the best! she rocks my socks:) but we're all old bitter and jaded people. no one can wear their heart of their sleeve forever. because inevitably, even if youre not bitter, some other old jaded person will come along and MAKE you bitter. its depressing but its true... we all get eaten.



    oh happy day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ohhhhhhhh man michelle. That was like a punch in the eye. haha, the point of this post was to look at life in a less depressing light! Like I said, though, I still love you and your sense of humor

    ReplyDelete

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