3.01.2005

High Rollers

So yesterday, randomly at like 9:30 at night, I went to the casino for the first time. The purpose for this trip was not to de-virginate me from casinos, but to let a fellow roomate blow off steam for a horrible day she was having. What better way to blow off steam than bet all your money into oblivion?

So we enter the mansion of a casino stock full of smoke (of course), scary-looking security guards (except for one cute one) and shiny vests that look like they were used at a gay bar at some point in time (poor blackjack dealers). I then proceed to get my "Club Sycuan" card (like they think I'm gonna come back every night, those fools) and hop onto a little evil machine I'd like to call the slot machine.

The first one I played was the I Dream of Jeannie slot machine. I put my card and my dollar in and the slot machine greets me with a "hello master." I'm sure that a lot of perverts love this machine. Seriously now, this game has no rhyme or reason. It just plays cool music and chimes a bell everytime you win something. And, foolishly, I get excited when I win "2 credits." That is until someone informs me that credits are nickels. What a rip off! So, this is when the game of chance comes into play...should I keep betting in hopes to get more money? At this point I had put 3 dollars in the machine and had gained $1.80. Did I go cash in my extra dollar eighty though? of course not, I was gonna go for more money.

Needless to say, a few turns later and switch to the American Bandstand machine, I had lost all my money. It was only 3 dollars, but I lost all of it. Am I fan of casinos? Well, I realized that they are the worst kind of video games: they are addicting, they take no skill and they involve the "hopes" of winning money.

So, we left the casino, went to Jack in the Box and got a few tacos and a shake (oreo, baby!) and went to bed. Overall, the night was more about having fun with friends rather than winning money.

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