What's Happenin' (April and May)?

I'm gonna merge April and May for this post because of the amount of travel I put on my plate (totally feasting on said plate), and the small amount of time I have in between to post.

So what's been happening in Ashley's world?

APRIL was the month that belonged mainly to San Diego. I was soooooooooo ready to soak up some sun. I was in SD for work, but obviously had the pleasure of seeing friends and family whilst gorging on Mexican food and In N Out for 2 straight weeks.

San Diego, in a nut shell:

Being in New York for awhile has made me appreciate San Diego to the MAX: It's clean! It's warm! It's a comfortable life! And being in San Diego for 2 weeks made me want to go back to NYC: It's interesting! There are things happening! CITY CITY CITY!  

That's why it's good I found a job that caters to my very gypsy soul that skips between different patches of green grass. I'll never change. 

***

MAY is going to be the month where I'll be heading to London and Berlin for an 8 day trip. I'm stoked! My 2 favorite New Yorkers are coming with me, whom you will see in my upcoming posts. It's been quite awhile since I've set foot in Europe (a year--that's LONG for me!), so May 10th can't come soon enough. 

Other stuff that's been happening recently: 

1. It's SPRING in NYC. Break out my denim jacket...weeeeee!  New York is gorgeous in the  springtime, ya'll. 

2. My cousin has a bestselling book in Turkey! My family is cool: 

via

My cuz (Begüm) totally inspires me to be creative once more, especially when it comes to writing. One of my life goals? Become published (at least an article). 

3. I've made the decision to stay in NYC next year. This is a city that will give you a beating, but in a way that brings out a fervency to be the best. I reckon there will be a point where that will become exhausting, but I haven't reached it just yet. So it's one more year (at least) in the big city for this little lady. 

And there you have it, folks. The "main headlines" of Ashley's life for April and May. And if you feel like sharing...what's been happening with you? 

11 Years (A Blogiversary Post)

Tomorrow--Feb 15th--marks my 11-year blogiversary.

When I started this blog, I was a sophomore at San Diego State University and a mere 19-years-old.

OLD PHOTO ALERT!!! I look like a baby. A sorority baby, that is.

I'm now 30 and have lived in London and moved to New York within that 11 year time frame. I've completed both a Bachelor's and Master's degree. I've had over 8 jobs since that time, including working at an oppressive smoothie shop, being an after-school teacher with adorable kiddos, taking a job as a copy editor, and most recently, landing a career that I love as undergraduate advisor for international education (a cause I can get behind).

All I can say is...wow, life. I don't think 19-year-old Ashley knew what was going to come in the next 11 years, but she couldn't have dreamed it all up, anyway.

I took this photo the other night at my friend's bday party, and I realized I no longer look like a baby.

There's experience and life behind those eyes, now. About 11 years worth.

Say Yes

I've been reading Bossypants and I thought Friday would be a good time to share a great quote from it. It's where Tina Fey extracts life lessons she learned from improv school:

"The first rule of improvisation is AGREE...at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you. As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. 'No we can't do that.' 'No that is not in the budget.' 'No I will not hold your hand for a dollar.' What kind of way is that to live? The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree then add something of your own...To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute." 

This works well for life, doesn't it? When faced with a big opportunity or decision is my first inclination to say yes or no? In some instances I think quite grand, but sometimes I default to a small-minded way of thinking. I limit myself. I like Tina's idea of learning how to lead with a yes and seeing what comes from it. Even more, I like the "YES, AND" bit of the quote. It's the part of the quote that makes us responsible for what we bring to the table both professionally and personally. Some questions to ask:

• What am I (and are you) contributing to the world? 
• Do I share new ideas at work? 
• Am I contributing positively to my friends lives? 
• Am I being kind and generous to my parents? 
• Am I contributing to my own well being (health, mind, soul)?   

What do I have to contribute? The answer is PLENTY!! Spending too much time thinking negatively or diminishing my own value takes away from the time I can be DOING SOMETHING/CONTRIBUTING SOMETHING.

Obviously, I've been on a positivity kick lately. I want to continue that trend. I'm choosing to start with a yes. Thanks, Tina.

And, She's Back!

Hyde Park in London. If ever you feel that life is dismal, make sure to look up. You might be missing the beauty right in front of you. 

Hey bloggers! I totally missed being in the blogosphere, but now I'm BACK!

I've returned with a very happy heart, one that is excitedly beating for all the possibilities of this life. Travel and time away has inspired me once again; I'm ready to go after the things I want (I'm on the PROWL)! If you're feeling complacent like I was, go and do that one thing you know will brighten your soul. Again I say, FOLLOW YOUR HEART, dammit! (I swear I'm not on any drugs, just 2 cups of coffee).

I'll be posting some travel photos soon (I'm sure you're so surprised). Until then, it's time to catch up on your blogs that I have so badly missed! It's time for another cup of coffee...

Life is Happening

I've been here for almost a month, and I have about 18 days to go until I head home (that means I will be here for a hefty 6 weeks! How's that for a holiday?). It's been a refreshing, often contemplative, and wonderful trip. It's given me a good dose of London, sufficient enough to "calm my cravings" and allow me to head home with a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

I often spend so much time worrying about the future, it's as if I'm planning on building a time machine to leave the present. This extended stay in London has redirected my thoughts to all the life going on around me. I guess it's just more practice in the art of being mindful of the present.

I do not know if I will ever live in London again; obviously, it's something I've thought about since I've been here. It's a city that I adore, and one that will always be here for me if I need it...and I can only leave it at that. What I do know is I want to continue on with this wonderful job that has let me work while abroad--HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

I'm very excited because I have booked two trips for next week: Florence and Prague! Sometimes when I step back from my life and look at it from the outside I realize two things:

1. I am a privileged and lucky girl. My life is grand.
2. It's not all luck. I brought myself here and I am proud of my accomplishments. I am a big thinker; but more than that, I am a big doer!

I may not be blogging as much these next 18 days, so forgive me for that! I will have some banging posts after I return! Until then, enjoy your surroundings today no matter where you are. Life is happening, so don't miss it! 

Stop and Smell the Roses, Dammit.

This past Sunday, there was an art festival of sorts in San Diego, in a cute and quaint area called Little Italy. I delightfully signed on to go to the festival since I have a slight hippie spirit. I enjoy live music, sunshine, drinking good beer outside, and talking to strangers that are like-minded.

Two of my friends that came were not thrilled to be there. Bothered by the crowds and waiting, they had something to eat and rushed home to watch TV shows. Now, I know not everyone has to like the same things I like, but I think something is lost when we forfeit real human connection for the cold glow of a TV set. Being around (and enjoying) other humans is what a festival/fair is all about--heck, it's what life is all about. When did it become hard for people to just let things be? Everyday, I've been trying to focus on taking in all the happenings around me and not worrying about what needs to get done the rest of the day. In other words, stop and smell the roses, dammit.

Or in this case, stop and smell the italian food. That's amore!

Yummy pizza comparable to italy at Isola Pizza Bar. 

Because by leaving early they missed a few great things:

• Running into Big Al the harmonica player, who *attempted* to play "My Cherie Amour" when I requested it. 
  
  
  
• Brie the bartender giving me a discount on my scotch mixed drink. 
• Cool art. 
  
• A few live music performances. 
  
• Oh, and life. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Pretty sure the TV can't get give you all of that. I don't care that I'm being pushy. PUT DOWN THE NETFLIX, and TAKE A DAMN WALK OUTSIDE. And go find some roses, kid. They're all around!

These Boots...

...are made for walking (yeah, I went there).

This post has a point, I promise! 

So, these boots. I wore them today to work. Taking a look down at my year old, worn-down boots, I couldn't help but smile. Do you know all the places I've been in these boots???

These babies kept my tootsies warm in Switzerland, where my friend Laura and I were stranded outside in the FREEZING COLD for a night when we learned the airport was closed (think, 15 degrees, guys!). Laura and I were stuck outside from about 1 am to 4 am. Try that in the dead of winter!

These guys helped me walk the streets of Paris navigating cobblestone roads mixed with rain (sometimes a deadly mix for a clumsy girl).

These pretties took me up and down the streets of London--the biggest feat of all! My other shoes fell apart in gritty London, but these boots stayed together through it all.

These boots. They've seen my most adventurous side, and have been my steady sidekicks through what  must have been 1,000 miles of walking. And looking at these boots, it really starts to sink in: How lucky am I? To have walked miles in all these cities! To have wandered down so many roads! To be able to afford travel! To be able to afford a steady pair of boots to go adventuring in!

The travel, the wonder, the excitement for life--it hasn't ended since I've returned from London. It's beginning again.

I had a few months here of feeling kind of down. It wasn't completely unfounded. Moving back was a huge transition for me! But I'm starting to really feel the good again. I know there's more walking to be done in these boots. And my dears, I'm getting really excited for it. 

Thoughts.

I haven't been feeling super bloggy this month. Maybe it's because my mind is filled with lots of existential questions...

But for now, here is a video that I'm really digging. Reminds me of when I traveled around a few cities alone in Europe. I would be sitting on the train or next to a famous fountain, allowing myself to really take it all in and just be present with the moment, no one to distract me from reality. It was in those moments that I always asked myself the hard questions. I think I've been avoiding the hard questions lately.

Maybe I should take up a blogging challenge like Linda where I try to blog everyday for a month! whew! But what a great way to get those thoughts out...

The Process is the Result

"People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result."

I was very inspired after reading this lil' article on cracked.com. 

I hate to say it, but my generation was probably the beginning of a slew of generations that feel entitled to shit. I'm not sure if anything is to blame but ourselves; however, the internet, facebook and a plethora of other sit-on-your-ass-in-the-house activities sure didn't help us out. 

Still, laziness is not just an epidemic of my generation and the ones that follow. The sloth disease has been around for a long time. And as the above mentioned article aptly points out, a lot of our laziness is tied into personal insecurities. We are afraid of criticism and failure. We are afraid of being unhappy. We are afraid of being uncomfortable. And so we choose to do nothing.

Let me just say, if there is anything the last 7 months in London have taught me, it's that being uncomfortable has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Mostly because it's made me a believer in the process. The second draft is always better than the first draft. And if you can manage a third draft, you're in even better shape! 

Once you start to figure out that things are never perfect and life can be edited, trying for something grand doesn't seem so scary anymore. 

Life is Like a 'Choose Your Own Ending' Book

I used to read those Goosebumps books where you get to the end of the page, and it said something to the effect of, "If you opened the door to the car, go to page 34. If you walked down the trail instead, go to page 61." Surely Goosebumps wasn't the only book to do this, I was just an avid fan of theirs (the 90s!), so it instantly comes to mind.

I always loved those "choose your own ending" books. Even at the age of 8, I liked the idea of being in control of my decisions, fictional or not. They were better than the books that told me how things ought to end.

My precociousness faded a little once puberty hit, and I started listening to all the usual subscriptions for life, including keeping my actual subscriptions to seventeen and YM magazine, which always had articles on, "How to Make Him Like You by Changing Yourself." ...I'm pretty sure that was the actual title. I mean, every so often they'd have a girl power post, but it would quickly fade into the background amongst the articles on new fall trends and Britney Spears' abs.

I started learning early that I should start comparing myself to others. This process has continued ever since. And it happens to most of us, and not just to women. We see someone getting married, having babies, getting a promotion, moving abroad, etc. and we feel it in the pit of our stomachs. Why aren't I in that place? What is the matter with me? We silently replay these questions in our heads.

Thankfully, 8-year-old Ashley always swims to the surface of my deluded mind during these times, and reminds me of what I knew all along: I am exactly where I should be at this time and this place in my life. It's my own damn story, anyway! Furthermore, I am extremely pleased with where all of my friends are, whether it includes babies, marriage or new cities. Besides, what's the purpose of a bookstore that only carries one story? How boring that would be! We were made to have many different endings.

I turn 28 in a couple days, and I am content with where I am: single, living in London, completing a Master's (eek!), following my dreams, and...choosing my own ending. And we're not even to the end, yet.

The Problem With Being a Home Collector

I've had a few moments, usually occurring on the train (prime thinking time), where I realize how much I like living in a foreign country. Things have become newly familiar, but not so familiar that I'm bored with it all.

I really like walking to the grocery store and buying my fresh produce, even having a laugh with an employee about what half and half is (they don't really carry this in England).

I like making the train last minute just as the doors are shutting, giving me a sense of validation that I am beating the system, or am athletic, or something.

I love all the stone buildings around me, everywhere I turn. It's constant beautiful architecture that makes my soul smile...and I cringe when I think of the strip malls America insists on building.

This place. It's starting to feel like home.

So where does that leave San Diego? Another home, far away but still in my heart.

So now I am a home collector. But the problem with being a home collector is you are always missing someone or something or somewhere. Sometimes I wish I could merge the cities together, but even if that were possible, it would fail miserably. Putting an ocean by London would change its cool dark aesthetic and urban feel. Placing a bunch of stone buildings in Cali would put a damper on its sunny disposition.

And so I love both, separately. And when the time comes to choose one, the once clear choice has become a bit cloudy. Maybe I'll know better when that time comes.

2012, A Good Traveling Year

I'm pretty proud of my travels this year, and thought I would recap the great places I saw:

January brought me to San Antonio and Austin, Texas to have some fun with my lovely friend Andres. San Antonio was laid back and family-oriented...

Visiting smiley Andy! Looking at this picture, I realize how pale I've become by living in London. 

But I digress...

San Antonio put me at ease, but I was majorly charmed by Austin--the liberal, southern (oxymoron?) city that flirts with you something fierce the moment you step foot in it. This might have to do with the live music you hear 'round every corner, or the quirky buildings and murals you find walking down the street...or maybe it's that Southern hospitality? Who knows? I still love Austin.

After coming back to a job that was sucking me dry in the early spring, I eventually landed a new job in April, as well taking a little vacay to none other than the irrefutably great city, NEW YORK. April was a great month...

I was lucky enough to bum around the city with then-roommate Lainey. 

Two weddings in the summer kept me in San Diego, until, as you know...I went to LONDON in September! Um, to live. Not to visit. 

Going away cupcakes from my dear friend Bethany. Aren't they precious? Ain't nothin' beats Sprinkles cupcakes!

I wasted no time in traveling plans, and late September found me in Oxford...

And after a bit of school and settling around London, October brought another great trip my way. Norway!! Which stole my heart and surprised me with its beauty.

The last trip of the year, in November, was Portugal... 

Portugal was quite the feel-good trip, filled with endless drinks and sunshine. 

This traveling year has been fantastic! I went to 6 places I had never been before. Aaaaaand, I have a sneaky suspicion that 2013 will be an even better traveling year (wink). 

With that, I have a few more days in London before I jet back to San Diego for Christmas. I'll make sure to blog there, too...but I may not be around for a week. 

Cheers to traveling! 

Living An Uncomfortable Life

As my imminent departure into adventure and grad school nears, a few people have expressed their jealousy to me.

My immediate response to them is, "You can do it, too!" This is met with a roll of the eyes and a very sarcastic, "Riiiight."

Our culture has become all about maintaining the comfort zone. We opt for ready-made, delivered pizza because it's an inconvenience to go to the grocery store. We avoid trying out for that marathon we have on our bucket list because the couch looks more inviting. We insist on tuning into The Real Housewives of Mars (or wherever it's set, now) because we've become accustomed to watching other people's lives instead of living our own.

We have become a culture dependent upon comfort. What results is boredom. And jealousy.

People do not get jealous of comfortable, safe lives. They are jealous of the uncomfortable stuff. The stuff that is scary to sign up for. The stuff that you can really fail at, but you try anyway.

I don't want to yammer on too much, because I think you guys have heard it all before. All I have left to say is:

• Buy that plane ticket! 
• Sign up for the marathon! 
• Submit applications to your dream job!
• Sail the seven seas!
• Go after a dream! 
• And dammit, live life (uncomfortably)! 

"We won't get far/ flying in circles inside a jar" -- Death Cab For Cutie

Life Lessons, As Taught By Churro the Chihuahua

gilani photograpy

Churro is one wise little fella. Besides the fact that he sometimes runs into walls and gets scared by his own shadow, I think this chihuahua has a thing or two to teach us about life (as told by churro): 

In life, you should always bite off more than you can chew. There's nothing like going for the big bone, even if it seems overwhelming at first. You'll be proud of yourself for hanging with the big dogs.

Sometimes, you'll be forced to deal with straight up bullshit: 

I mean, honestly...why does mom want to torture me so? 

Aunt Ashley calls me 'Big Gay Al' in this Hawaiian shirt. I don't quite know what she means by that, but I don't like it! 

Not funny, mom. NOT FUNNY.

After all of that nonsense, there will be times when you just don't wanna get out of bed. This is perfectly acceptable. 

In fact, don't forget to rest! Napping is the best part of my day...humans are always moving too much. 

I need the rest, because Mom and Aunt Ashley always insist on dragging me along for silly photo shoots. This tires a little guy out! I guess sometimes one just has to grin and bear it, especially because I'm not strong enough to fight. 

Aunt Ashley makes up for it by taking me on rides. One should always make time to travel. Aunt Ashley likes traveling too, I think. 

Lastly, my final word of advice: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! Mom and Aunt Ashley hold me and rub my belly at the end of the day. I think they really love me.