I know that I am not unworthy of love. I know that I read too much into things. I know that I've let myself get way too sad this week. Sorry to everyone that I snapped at in my aggression and grumpiness.
It's just hard to find out the truth. It seems easier to try to live in a dreamworld, a Shakespeare world. But, that wouldn't actually be living, now would it? So at least I'm attempting to live, even if it's painful at times.
I just need to remember that:
- I don't need a guy to tell me I'm worthy. I am worthy, and if he doesn't see that, then he's missing out. He COULD have had a great relationship if he only tried.
- I don't need to go into ultra-sadness mode. I remember watching Big Fish, when the main character was going through the dark forest, and almost thought he might die. Then, he realized, that the only way to live was to believe that he could survive. So, he pulled himself out of the darkness and made his way to the light. So it's alright to be sad, but I need not let it overtake my every minute.
- I don't need to worry nearly as much as I do. Logically, it's easy to say this. In the real world, sometimes I can't really help it! But at least I've identified my worrying nature and I can cut back from there.
- I don't need to lose myself in sadness. Have I forgotten that I am such a cool chick, that I have a ton of really cool friends because they love me and I love them back? I need to recover and bring back my Ashley J-ness nature. I like to make people smile about their lives...I haven't been doing that much this week. I need to snap back into shape!
I won't ever forget who I am and that only I have the power to change my mood/life. No one else can have that power over me.
If you can't see how wonderful I am, than you must be so very blind, my friend. Because I am extraordinary...don't let yourself miss out!
And now I'm finally smiling. Thanks rachel, for that slap and talk. You are someone that will be in my life for quite I while, I can feel it.
