I'm learning to have a discerning heart. Not based on my own understanding of life, but based on God's vast knowledge--on his set of rules for life. Why try to live life by my rules? How silly, when the one omnipotent being that made me knows better. Why would I not consult him?
And yet I continually try to pull away from God's decrees. I get lost in the idea of the world, and the world consumes.
"And this deception I wear it like a skin" --Lauryn Hill
I want to separate myself from the world, and it's way of thinking. I want to adopt a way of thinking that will bring me true joy.
I sometimes wonder if the reason why so much of my life has gone wrong in the past few years is because I lost my faith sometime around then. I admire your ability to trust in something that I felt I couldn't any longer, and I kind of wish I didn't feel so jaded about religion.
ReplyDeleteMaybe one day I'll come back to it, but I think before that happens it needs to feel right, or I need to be able to trust the unknown again. Something like that, anyway.
Jax x
Ashley, I just finished reading a novel that I think you would really, really like. It's called "Ceremony of the Innocent" by Taylor Caldwell. I found the author had such clarity and wisdom about human beings and life in general (speaking through the story, of course).
ReplyDeleteD.
P.S. - It looks like a typical romance novel, but it's not. Don't read too many reviews on it or you're bound to read a spoiler.
oh me too. but i find that i continually fall and fall and become who i was, who i decided that i didn't want to be. i'm falling over the same blocks as always.
ReplyDeletei was thinking at work today, 'you know, satan. it's got to be SO BLOODY EASY for you to trip me up'. it's like... i'm trip-up training case. 'ok, here's what you do. practice on that one.' and i fall for it every time. gah!
sorry... i just kinda precipitated all over your blog comment like that, but it just fit perfectly in with the theme of my life right now.
thanks for sharing dear. :)
Don't you think God wants us to get lost a little bit? It seems like that is how we find out about our place in the world.
ReplyDeletejackie-- I think your reaction to religion is normal. There are a lot of sucky things that happen in life, and in the past I have found myself wondering if there is really a God.
ReplyDeleteI think working with kids has affirmed my belief in God. True beauty can be found in them. And kids bring up God all the time on their own. I think they know something the rest of the world doesn't.
One reason I believe: this world doesn't offer enough to satisfy. It may be faulty logic...but DUDE, there must be more!
D-- cool, I will look into in. I just started a book called Wide Awake by Erwin McManus.
cari-- I do believe we are in this together. haha. I trip up all too often.
thomas-- I understand what you're saying, yo; however, I do believe that we are not supposed to stay lost. There is the big man upstairs to make things so much easier than we tend to make it. I make things far more complicated than they have to be!