1.30.2010

Attitude Adjustment

I love having good days after bad days. I even cried yesterday and was being a little dramatic, which isn't so typical of me. I'm more of the logical thinking type than the emotional type. But yesterday, I felt as if I had to kind of throw my dream out of the window.

Truth is, I don't.

So this is the plan I *think* I will be following. I'm going to get certified in teaching english to foreigners. Then, I'm going to go ahead and see what job offers I get, and if they are sufficient for what I need. If so, I'll go. If not, I'll stay and think of another path (staying in SD or maybe going to another state).

I know there's no real reason to make a big deal out of this. I was making a big deal because I've never left San Diego. It's like I don't know how to navigate leaving this place. I feel half-child like, like I haven't grown up enough, like I'm stuck in a way. But there's no need to feel that way.

Even if I were to stay in San Diego, I could do plenty of growing within this city with so many opportunities. What has been sucking lately is my attitude. Life is, truly, what you make it. I've been thinking that staying in San Diego would stunt my personal growth. Going to Turkey looked like a way out of that. "If I move to another country, surely I'll grow into more of an adult!"

I'm a dork sometimes. Although I still want to go to Turkey to just go to Turkey (LOVE THAT PLACE), I'm not going to cry and kick and scream over it if I don't go. It will not be the end all and be all.

The Big Guy upstairs will let me know which way to go (He always does), and in the meantime I'll e-mail some teachers at some of the schools at Turkey and ask how they're getting along (thanks for that advice, Michelle).

And I'll look on the bright side. Cause at this stage of my life, there's a LOT of bright sides. Heck yeah.

8 comments:

  1. Adjusting your attitude will put you in a better place for whatever happens. I do know the feeling of needing to move away. I had it too and that's how I ended up in California. Even if it's not Turkey (but it should be!) it could be somewhere else.

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  2. Turkey is awesome, but I can only imagine how much is out there waiting for you in the rest of the world! And you're right - him upstairs knows where you're meant to be, and just trusting that everything will fall into place is huge. I'm so excited for your journey!

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  3. i always (even still) wanted to go big city. especially when going to NYC or Dallas it gets real bad but i was never able to get out of where i was. fortunately, i'm able to carve out quite a great life where i am, so options aren't limited because of where you are ... just as long as you can be happy.

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  4. You know you want to move to Chicago :)

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  5. I came to a similar conclusion about the whole teaching-in-a-foreign-land thing. Except I didn't end up taking the class. I checked out the program through UC Davis up here, then realized it wasn't what I really wanted to do, nor what God had in mind for me. When I ask God for His will for my life, rather than try to "find myself", I find I'm so much more fulfilled.

    D.

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  6. A letter is soon on the way girl ;) but I decided to read your blog to see what's up and I hope you get to go to Turkey I really do.
    But I can also relate to that "having to get away to feel growth" and just get some change in life. I'm sure like you say that you can stay in the same city and still have a lot of opportunities to grow, you decide how your life will be yourself :)
    But I still hope everything with Turkey will work out for you =) will keep my fingers crossed for you!!!

    Hug from Sonja

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  7. Amiable post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you for your information.

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