To preface this post, I wanted to mention that I'm watching my sister's cat for about 3 weeks while she's on vacation. This required me packing up his stuff and moving him to my house. He's been here about 2 days, and hasn't come out of hiding. He's scared shitless and is unsure of this new territory.
This is important to bring up, because well, I'm like the cat.
I was quite comfortable in my little home in London. San Diego has always been home, so it was very distressing to come back and have it not feel like home at all. London had become my comfort zone, and in a weird twilight-zone turn of events, San Diego became unfamiliar.
This is slowly changing. SLOWWWWWLY. What helps is reading articles like this. And keeping as busy as possible. And remembering that it's ok (and normal) to feel a bit depressed. I won't wallow, and I won't frown all day, but I will acknowledge that there have been moments of sadness while being back. I'm allowed this.
HOWEVER, I am also aware that I am so, so lucky to have had this experience. I mean, I had the privilege to live overseas (a dream of mine!). I fulfilled a major life goal. I grew, I changed, I learned.
So at this time, I'm allowing myself to mourn the loss of London, while also reminding myself that I can visit again (I'm aiming for my graduation next summer)...and that things are going to be ok. Kitty and I are just readjusting.
This is important to bring up, because well, I'm like the cat.
I was quite comfortable in my little home in London. San Diego has always been home, so it was very distressing to come back and have it not feel like home at all. London had become my comfort zone, and in a weird twilight-zone turn of events, San Diego became unfamiliar.
This is slowly changing. SLOWWWWWLY. What helps is reading articles like this. And keeping as busy as possible. And remembering that it's ok (and normal) to feel a bit depressed. I won't wallow, and I won't frown all day, but I will acknowledge that there have been moments of sadness while being back. I'm allowed this.
HOWEVER, I am also aware that I am so, so lucky to have had this experience. I mean, I had the privilege to live overseas (a dream of mine!). I fulfilled a major life goal. I grew, I changed, I learned.
So at this time, I'm allowing myself to mourn the loss of London, while also reminding myself that I can visit again (I'm aiming for my graduation next summer)...and that things are going to be ok. Kitty and I are just readjusting.
You and kitty have my sympathy. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably a good thing you have that kitty there experiencing it right along with you ;) This made me go back and read a post I wrote when he had been home for a month and everything seemed so foreign, even though this was supposed to be home. And now we're coming up on a year being home, and are preparing to head off again for a bit. maybe if we keep doing that, we don't ever have to fully adjust.
ReplyDeleteAt least you two have each other.. you and the cat I mean. We are TOTALLY aloud to be sad for a while.
ReplyDeleteYou are readjusting and it's going to be okay. Allow yourself as much time as you need to feel comfortable again whether or not it takes a month or two months. And leaving from time to time helps to get used to the constant readjustment. Then again, who am I? I'm still struggling and I've been doing this for over ten years. It gets easier, but slooooowwwwwwly!
ReplyDeleteIt's totally OK and normal to feel a bit depressed after a stay abroad. I felt like that after having lived in England myself. It had been a dream of mine for a long time, and when it was over I felt so empty. But things fall into place slowly but certainly. Hope you'll feel better soon!
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