6.24.2017

What to Do When He Doesn't Text Back



I sort of cringe at my title, because texting as the ultimate form of communication nowadays seems so lame, but it’s just the way we do things now. But I digress, onto my post...


I wrote in a previous post how I feel more open and ready for love than ever before. It's funny that when you remain open to just the idea of it, suitors will indeed come your way. You may not want to date every suitor, but they will start coming...did I just use the word suitor?  

Since I wrote the above mentioned post, 3 guys have come my way. Two of them I wasn't so keen on, but the third, I definitely liked: he was well travelled, good looking, and had a lot of ideas about life I agreed with. Plus, we met on the plane and WHO doesn't like that story?! 

There was texting back and forth--A LOT at first. And then there were a couple failed meet-up attempts. Finally, after one such failed attempt (because of his busy work schedule), I wrote a final text message that clearly stated how I felt and what I wanted. 

A lot of people will tell you not to do such a thing. They say it seems desperate, and that the woman is supposed to play hard to get, and that it scares some people off. Well, I do think it scares some people off--the wrong people

He never got back. 

In the past, I would have really fixated on this dude. I'd forgive his half-assed attempts of trying to get together, instead of asking for what I wanted. I'd let the texting continue (maybe he liked the attention?). I could be strung along for months. All of this because I liked a few traits about him and decided, in my mind, that he was special. This is an insane thing I used to do in my past. Why? Because subconsciously I was afraid of real intimacy with a man so I would choose to fixate, love, and fantasize about men that were unavailable to me. 

Well, this has been the year of breaking up my old habits. And so I had the BALLS to send a message  expressing the truth. 

I'm actually not mad at the guy, despite some bad manners, because he truly is a likable, fun person. However, I had to face the reality of the situation: although he was texting me for awhile, and although we got along swimmingly on the plane, he just wasn't coming through any longer. Maybe he lost interest. Maybe his work life is too demanding. Who cares? The point is you can't expect someone to meet you where you are if they are simply not in that place. It's like being in Albuquerque and becoming livid over a person who's hanging out over in Phoenix and physically can't meet you in Albuquerque. Why get mad? 

So what to do if you send a gutsy text to which he never replies? 

You move on. You brush it off and realize that everything is as it should be. You grab a bottle of wine with your gal pal and cook dinner together, and you laugh your ass off. You realize that although you liked him a lot, he's not the only cute, well-traveled guy out there. You start asking for what you want more often because you realize you're becoming a complete boss. 

You remain being open and ready for love, because what you're asking for will come to you. 

**

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