Am I ever productive?

Well, I'm sitting here listening to "All I Want for Christmas is You." Seeing as Christmas is quite a ways away, I've decided that, nope, I'm not being very productive.

I don't know when I'll ever get really serious about school. It's not that I don't try hard or even that I don't care, it's just that I feel too young to get serious about a career. So, here I am, halfway through college, not knowing where I wanna go in life. But what do they want from me? I'm only 19 years old!!! Not 30, not experienced in any other field besides being a cashier, not completely mature and NOT READY TO PICK WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!

I know that that's a little drastic considering at any point in my life I can switch my career to whatever I want. It's not like my decision now will be set in stone or burnt into my arm (just say no to branding!). I just don't like being so undecided and uncertain about something so important. It's like losing all control. No human being can stand that.

The problem is that i'm WAY too over-analytical. I need to just slap my hand and stop it and take a breath and sit back and relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax. whew! I guess we never know what tomorrow will bring, and it scares me to the very bone. But in a way, it also makes things exciting. Life is a bitch sometimes.

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