The Answer Could Be Yes

This past week I did a big thing in my professional life. While I can't spill the beans on what it is just yet, I can tell you it involved me asking my boss a question I had been wanting to ask for years.

It's funny, when you hold onto words for that long, those words become a part of your body somehow. As I mustered up the strength to ask my boss the big question, I started welling up with tears--my body was having an emotional reaction to these words being spoken out loud, as if I was going through an amputation. 

To my delight, and my years of wondering and worrying and waiting, my boss's answer to the question was "Yes."

Yes? Did she say yes? Did I hear that right?

The next day she brought my question to the CEO and he said "Yes."

Words have a lot a power, but I didn't know my words had so much power. In speaking my truth, my secret, my innermost desire, I was met with a yes from my boss and the universe.

I still have hurdles to jump over before I reveal the big question, but my confidence is high that I can clear said hurdles. The purpose of this post is to simply say that the biggest hurdle was myself. Finally speaking those words gave me freedom. Even if the answer ended up being no, I still would have felt the same sweet freedom simply by speaking the truth.

So a lesson to you, dear reader: go for the big thing. Say the scary words. Free yourself from the weight of self-doubt, and keeping your inner most desires hidden. Free yourself from the fear of hearing a no. You might be so utterly wrong, because the answer could be yes.

Yes. 

The Post Where I Get a Little Narcissistic

This is going to be a narcissistic post, but I don't care.

I'm proud of myself. 

I'm proud of going after a job I really wanted, even it meant waiting around for ages for things to come together. That waiting prompted me to ask my boss for exactly what I wanted. And I got it. Ask and you shall RECEIVE. 

I'm proud of making the decision to move to New York and really going with that decision. I've learned from this experience that making a decision, even if a little unsure about it, is better than vacillating between too many choices. 

I'm proud of knowing that I can have the things I want in a career: a job I am truly passionate about, one where I get to travel for work, where I get to talk to students about fulfilling a dream of studying and living abroad, and where I don't have to go to the same office everyday (I enjoy mixing up the work week). 

I am proud for not settling. And in order to not settle, I had to work for it. I had to take less pay in an assistant role while keeping the main, grand goal in mind. In doing this, I have achieved said goal! This doesn't mean that this job will be all rainbows and butterflies...I will sometimes have to work weekends and late nights, but I welcome this knowing I will be doing something that I really, really love. This sits well with my soul. 

Lastly, I am proud for being true to myself. I knew deep down it was time for a move, time for a change, time for some action. This truth nagged at me everyday, and I knew it could not be ignored any longer. I am proud for being Ashley, unapologetically. 

This WAS a narcissistic post, but I am proud of being able to claim these actions as my own, and for knowing sometimes it's okay to be a little proud. 

Photo credits: 1/2

In the Right Direction

So I'm here in Austin on a work trip for my new gig--working for Across the Pond.

Looking like a complete and utter dork at St. Edward's University to represent Across the Pond!

ATP is a company that is funded by multiple UK universities to help students get over to the UK for graduate study. It is a free service for students and assists with the sometimes overwhelming process of getting and living abroad, from visa applications to researching programs. My job is to be a presence at grad fairs and enlighten the American public that, yes--you can go abroad for your Master's degree! It's been a joy working for a company I believe in, and while I'm only working part-time for them, I know deep down in my bones this is the right field for me. Whether I can continue full time with ATP or a company like it, I truly know this is where I belong.

Also, it's rather nice to be in Austin, traveling for work, eating BBQ, and visiting with blog friends. But more on that later...

Holiday Happenings & Other News

THIS MONTH HAS BEEN BUSY!

On top of the usual holiday shenanigans I usually get into (parties, too much food, ugly sweaters, winter festivals), I also have some exciting/scary news...

I've accepted a writing job (on a trial basis thus far) in addition to my university temp job. This is exciting/scary because it's definitely a bit of a career shift for me. However, I'm really thrilled at the idea of having a more creative career. The job is centered around creating web content for businesses. And guess what?! I even listed this blog on my resume. How funny is that? Putting the ol' blog to use! 

Anyway, thought I would share a few pics from the ugly sweater party...because, why not? 

 Ugly sweaters in action. 

 Lisa called this her 'Ugly New Years Sweater'

Merry Christmas, San Diego style!!!

On the Search for a Meaningful Job

There's an article floating around the interwebs on how my particular generation is obsessed with finding meaningful work as opposed to sticking with a job and getting good at it, in turn making that work meaningful.

While I think the article brings up some insightful points, such as, not everyone is special; I still believe my generation has a point of their own: why not search for something meaningful? We are the generation that has begun to challenge the idea of processed foods, has become more culturally aware (still an ongoing battle though) and has become increasingly philosophical in questioning the institution of marriage and the American "path to happiness". While I still believe in certain mainstream belief systems, it's the questioning part I applaud. My generation likes to ask, "why?"

So yeah, I think overall we have a problem with being sort of entitled (we were children in the 80s and 90s, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US??). And we tend to get lusty over certain things. For me, it's travel. For others, it might be a shiny car. Generations before seemed to be content with a lot less. I say "seem" because it's all speculation anyway.

The point I'm getting at is why not look for a meaningful job? Whether it's an office job that makes you smile, or a construction site that you fancy working at, or a acting gig that brings purpose to your life...I do believe it's better to search for meaning rather than being a mindless zombie day in and day out. Despite our entitled-ness, I still think when you know you know. Within reason, I live for that search for meaning. I think it's a return to being more human after the robotic work life the industrial revolution put into place. The article above fails to recognize that the work culture we know to be true from the last 100 or so years is purely circumstantial; but searching for meaning has always been the human quest from the very beginning.

In short, I do think it's possible to be a good employee while also going after the desires of your heart. Keep on, keeping on Gen Y! 

On Job Hunting

How I feel when I have to input in my employment history for the 98,748,290,000 time:

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How my mood changes when I get a call back:

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That is all. 

My New Job

With permission from my boss (yay, boss!), and since you asked...

My new position is with London SAE, a provider and specialist of study abroad and interning opportunities in London. I'm not sure what my position is called (?), but I can tell you that it is a renaissance position of sorts.

We. do. everything. We literally help the student/young professional with every step of the process, including (and what I like most) a focus on advising and helping the student with acculturating once they get here. This is key, and something a lot of study abroad programs leave out.

What's really cool about this position (for me) is I get to write ads and website content for London SAE, since they are a fairly new start-up. As a (blog) writer this makes my little heart happy. In this position, my two favorite worlds have collided! I get to exercise my creativity in writing, AND I get to help students move to a new country. Winning!

Of course, it's going to be quite the balancing act with an increased dissertation workload, but I welcome the challenge!

Last Day @ Work

I thought the @ symbol in the title is quite appropriate, given the amount of e-mails I had to always sort through. I'm trading in e-mails for research papers and a BIG, FAT dissertation.

While some people may dread papers, I'm really excited to utilize my brain again, as answering loads of e-mails can be mindless work.

It's been 16 months working at my current university. It's been real. It's been a bit boring (truth). It's been fun (at times). And now, it's time to say adieu.

Always Running, Running, Running

My presence has been lacking a little on this blog, as I've been running on what seems to be a life-sized hamster wheel called work. Egads! I wish I could linger a little more in the present, but it seems my days are broken up hurrying from task to task, until I come home, collapse on the couch and watch a movie. Ahhh, to be young and overworked.

That brings me to a quote in a Donald Miller book I've been reading. A quote that hit really hard:

"But I like movies. There's something about a good story that helps me escape...if it was a good movie, the experience felt like somebody was resetting a compass in my brain so I could feel what was important in life and what wasn't. I'd go to the movies because for an hour or so I could forget about real life."

Lately, I've been watching a lot of movies.

Movies are all well and good and fun. But Donald here brings up an excellent point. When do we ask ourselves why we are watching so many movies? Is it to admire the art, or is it to forget about reality? After Donald decides to create his own interesting story within his life, he brings up the subject of movies again:

"Once I understood the power of story in my personal life, I wanted to know more about how to create a good one. I was getting up a little earlier, and interestingly enough, I was going to fewer movies...I didn't need to escape my boring life anymore."

Even a busy life can be boring. So even though I'm running, running, running...where is it that I'm running to? I think it's about time to plot my story.

Sup Playas?

^

^

This is what my coworkers like to say to each other each morning. I can't complain with the fantastic lot of people I get to work with. And the really great boss. Man, it's so nice to have a boss who knows what the heck he's doing. Who woulda thunk?

So far, my job has been a bit tiring, as I am now an advisor for students across the nation, which requires many phone calls. The most amusing of which was a French man who tried to get my cell number. I aksed him, "Um, yeah....well...are you interested in school, though?"

He replied, "But of course! But youuuu can call me for non buzzzinez tings!"

The French will be French, even through the phone.

In other news, I may a little absent from the internet this week, and next week I go to New York. SAY WHATTTT?!? However, I'll make my regular appearance soon on all of your blogs! Until next time, playas.

Things Are Looking Up, Kid

This flower reflects my current mood: whimsy, relaxed and happy to be in the presence of sunshine. I've gotten some great news this week, which hasn't been the case for the better part of the year, it seemed.

As most of you know, I was really despising my job. Thus, I sent out several applications (to different cities even), went on numerous interviews and waited, waited, waited. (I loathe waiting). I was feeling super drained from the whole process. Just when I said, "I don't think I can go on one more interview," I got a call that I got a job. Funny how things like that work out.

I'll be working for the same university, but a different location. This location means: better hours, a competent boss, and full weekends (which I didn't have before). Rejoice! Now, I don't expect a miracle here, but I expect an improvement in my life. I'm so looking forward to this.

Oh, and one more thing has me smiling today...I bought tickets for a vacation in New York City!! This, of course, has me overjoyed. If you have any tips for must-sees and recommended hostels, please drop them in the comment box.

Things are looking up (and I still have secret plans that I will divulge at the right time). If you work hard towards a change, it will come to you! I refused to stay in a sad place, so I found a way out, with a little help from the Big Guy, I think.

I Surrender, White Flag Held High

It's an interesting thing when you become so frustrated by your station in life, it prompts you to make a big change.

Always a believer that I shouldn't keep banging my head against the wall of a dead-end street, I'm thinkin' maybe it's time to turn around and start walking the other way. Whether this means staying in San Diego, or venturing to a new city, I'm up for whoever responds first to my excessive applying. I'll let God, the universe, chance--heck--I'll even let the wind decide my fate. It's not up to me anymore!

All I know is, I can't keep banging my head only to gain another bruise. This is not how life is meant to be, I GOTS to follow my heart...if I don't start doing what I absolutely love, what God designed me for, then what the hell am I doing?

I refuse to regret not taking a chance.

So here we go, this should be an interesting ride the next few weeks/months. I'll make sure to fasten my freakin' seatbelt.

So What Do You Think?

I found this video highly interesting, and couldn't figure out if I was impressed by this plan the Japanese government has placed on companies, or slightly disturbed by the amount of government control.

On the one hand, companies are kept accountable for what kind of food they serve employees and are forced to think about their employee's well-being. On the other hand, the government is forcing you to lose weight, which could have interesting and/or negative psychological effects, me thinks. It also brings up civil rights, some how...

What do you think?

This is Your Brain on Work

Remember that old drug commercial with the egg in the frying pan? You know, the "this is your brain on drugs" spiel? Yeah, yeah...that's my brain right now. But switch drugs with work.

I realized (spoiled brat that I am) I haven't worked since the end of February. I started my new job yesterday and I see a lot of good things about it. But the hard part is in the next few weeks: I have to know all the policies and procedures about the University, their requirements and financial aid.

It was once of those moments out of a movie where my boss handed me a stack of books filled with information we have to know.

Realistically, I don't have to know it all. Of course not. I'm not a computer or a robot or anything of that nature. But the perfectionist in me wants to be a robot. I gotta tell myself to calm down...seriously, Ash, you're not made outta metal.

What's good is, I like my boss (he's suuuuuuper laid back) and I like a coworker that I've met (I meet the other two members of my team next week). You can't ask for better than that! The rest will all fall into place...

Favorite Thing Thursday: Gettin' a Job

It only seemed appropriate to post my news on a Favorite Thing Thursday.

I got a new job!

This comes at a great time seeing as I have a little debt from Turkey (from the over-priced plane ticket back, to be exact).

I don't want to post too much about where I'm working, as we all know that many have gotten in trouble by posting too much info about work on their blogs. But what you can know is that I'm going to be an Admissions Advisor for a university that specializes in online education. This is a great opportunity for me because I've been interested in the advising role, and possibly getting a Masters in Educational Counseling.

So, here's to not being a broke-ass dead beat and for having a job, yo.

The Little Ashley That Could

I am finding a way around the problem of a seemingly jobless Izmir. I've been messaging EVERYONE in Turkey through Couchsurfing.org and asking them if they know any language schools or anyone working at a language school.

(p.s. I LOVE Couchsurfing.org for so many reasons!)

And did you know? Turkish people are so damn friendly that they've not only responded to me, but they've been talking to their friends for me about possible jobs.

I will find a way. I will get a job. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

And can you tell I've been antsy this week? I've written a post everyday to release some tension!

Are We There Yet?

*sigh*

I'm going to come off as a little moody here (since I was all excited last week), but oh well.

So as I have been applying to jobs in Izmir, Turkey, I'm realizing that there are not a lot of job opportunities in that specific city. I've also gotten one rejection from a school that said I didn't have enough experience. Fair enough. I'm just a little sad about not getting an interview with that school, because it's a good one!

So...although my plan was to just stick with Izmir (for MANY reasons), I think I'm still going to apply to places in Istanbul.

My cousins warned me about the chaos of such a large city and how it might wear down on me. I don't disagree with that assessment. Did you know that Istanbul is the 5th largest city in the world and has a population of 13 million? THAT'S HUGE. In fact, that's the whole reason I was looking to stick with the smaller city of Izmir.

However, as I'm noticing my job prospects shrinking in Izmir, and my growing desire to live in Turkey, I'm going to include Istanbul on my list.

Advice from my family on where to apply is going to be crucial, as they know the good and bad areas of the city. And any advice from you all is appreciated. Especially you, Emily--since you've been through all of this!

I'm a little anxious right now about all of this. I have a frantic want to just do this already! But I know I need to take caution and be patient when choosing something so important.

Overall, I know that I think too much...and I need to just let this process unfold the way it is supposed to. It's just so hard when you want something SO BAD!!!

I'm Proud of Me

Passing my TEFL exam has made me pretty proud of myself (and thankful to God).

Not because it's an exam I got a passing score on. I've done that plenty of times. Rather, it's because I am actively pursuing something that I have always wanted to do, and I am actually making progress at achieving it. This is big for me, because the last two years since graduation, I've felt like I've been unmotivated, or stuck, or whatever kind of a funk you want to call it. I've enjoyed my job working with children, but right now it's not my dream job, or dream life.

Now, teaching English in a different country--that's not a 'dream job' of mine. But, it is a challenge, which excites me. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be exciting and thrilling. Moreover, add that to moving to a different country, and that has always been my dream. There is something quite fulfilling about going after a 'dream,' and watching it edge toward reality.

This makes me feel extra alive. And in more control of my life. There's no real profound way to simply say, I'm feeling really good about all of this. I. Feel. Good.

So what's left is to spruce up my resume and apply, apply, apply like crazy all this week. And then I'll play the waiting game. So wish me luck, and thanks for all the "congrats" from the other post. I appreciate all your support and love. And hey--I love you back, little blog community of mine :)

It's all becoming a little more real!

I passed my TEFL exam...WHICH MEANS, I can apply for jobs in Turkey now!!!

Wow, I can't believe I can finally do this!

Three Films You Should See:

1. Flipped

An innocent, endearing tale of a boy and a girl living next door to each other, and figuring out the complexities of a first crush. I fell in love with this movie, mostly because of it's relatable and honest lines. An example, when Bryce (the boy) was getting ready for a dinner with Juli (the girl he has a crush on) : "I need to put on a shirt that makes me look good, but also makes it seem like I'm not trying too hard. It's a fine line." <---and can I just say, the young man they got for this movie is the kind of boy I would have TOTALLY had a crush on in high school? Yep, they did perfect casting.

The best way to describe this movie is: damn cute! Rating: ★★★

2. Eat, Pray, Love

I was really nervous to see this because I had read the book and LOVED, no, ADORED it. Easily in my top 5 favorite books.

So this is what I did. I gave the movie a chance, knowing that it would NEVER stack up to its literary counterpart. I gave it a chance to be a movie, and not a perfect adaptation of a story I love.

As a movie I really liked it. It was lacking in some areas, but overall the movie was good. Not great, but good...mostly due to the spunkiness of Miss Roberts. I was also pleased that they didn't skip over everything spiritual, which I thought Hollywood might do. A bonus: getting to see breathtaking scenes of Italy. Rating: ★★½

3. Waitress

So my other two movies are more chick-oriented. But this movie...this is a movie both men and women can see, and thoroughly enjoy.

What a gem of a film! It's about a waitress (duh) who is in a dead-end, abusive marriage, who then gets pregnant from her dead-end, abusive husband. I don't want to give too much away here--but this is a story about feeling helpless and trapped, and coming out of that.

It's sweet, it's quirky, it's a bit dark, with a little bit of humor. Mix that all up in a bowl and put in into a pie shell...and you've got Waitress! (You'll get that reference once you've watched the movie). Rating: ★★★½

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Off the subject of movies, I finally took my TEFL exam yesterday. I'll get the results in "up to 10 days," as the school told me. *Crossing Fingers* and hoping I've passed! (Once I pass I can start applying for jobs in Turkey)!