My Favorite Drug

It's funny how much fun I have with this little blog. It makes me happy. I've never been one to keep a diary for that long; I get bored just writing down sequential events...that just becomes a big clump of words poorly molded into a paragraph and called a diary entry. Unless you can make events interesting (in that case, my friend, you are talented).

The difference between a blog and a diary is that people have access to my secret thoughts. It's a little crazy that I even advertise this site, "ATTENTION: COME READ ASHLEY'S INNERMOST, SECRET THOUGHTS RANDOMLY SCRIBBLED DOWN FOR ALL TO SEE."

Seriously, I may be crazy.

What's funny is I've never been that much of an attention whore. I can make it being the girl in the background happily observing. I don't need much recognition or reassurance to know that I'm a cool chick (hehehe). But, somehow, I like this attention. Maybe it goes along with the fact that I want to be a journalist. I like bringing up random-ass thoughts and topics and seeing how people react to those thoughts. And I also like to be heard. I'm not the best at arguing verbally, but if we ever fight on paper, well, be prepared for some competition. If nothing else, I could kick your ass in grammar and spelling. Not that you care.

Obviously I don't reveal all my thoughts. I don't even usually reveal names that are critical to certain posts. I still am a relatively private person.

It's just fun (yeah fun) to come to a place and vent my feelings without interruption. So maybe I'll write 3 posts a day...if I feel like it, sure. In a way, it heals the insecurity within that I've carried. Not the insecure you're thinking of--I haven't been insecure about my looks for awhile (thanks Women's Studies!). I've just always been a bit insecure when it comes to trusting people. But, I'm working on that.

WOW. This has become a MONSTER of a post that I need to end. But this, along with all of the gazillions of stuff I have written, makes me a better, more understanding person each day. It keeps me sane during the madness. So thank God for it.