Alright Matt, I'm updating. I couldn't take that big internet insult you were about to slap on me.
I feel...a little hollow inside to tell you the truth. I'm not depressed, but I'm upset, and I've been upset for awhile.
What's wrong, you ask?
Obviously, it started with my dad and cancer.
And then I got super jealous over my friend and how much attention he was or wasn't giving me (which I never do...I swear!). And yet he still consoles me and puts up with me, even though I've continued to be erratic and insane.
Lastly, there's my sorority. Now people who aren't in sororities might laugh at what I'm about to say, cause they wouldn't understand. But my sorority has always been different. We're...funky, crazy, different. We've always been the anti-sorority, sorority. For that reason, we're smaller than our nationals would have liked (our national council, that is). So what National Council is doing is kicking us out of our sorority and putting new people in the sorority. Does that even make sense?
I feel stupid explaining it cause it sounds so CRAZY.
Basically I feel like I keep losing people and things that are important to me. I feel threatened. I feel like I need a release!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'm coming to a point where I'm realizing that if I don't take control of this situation I will become actually depressed. It's time to take myself out of this mind frame.
Where is that strong confident girl that I once was??? I know she's still inside. I've just been slapped with some major blows that have hurt...oh, how they've really hurt me!! But I will remain as strong and hopeful as I can.
Do I believe in a higher power? Yes, yes I do. I'm praying now...
You don't really sound like yourself. I'm sorry your sorority is having problems, and that everything else seems to be coming down hard on you. Just take it a little at a time. It's too much to deal with.
ReplyDelete