11.21.2009

I've Landed

I haven't talked about J for a long time on here. Well, he hasn't really been a big presence in my life anymore, while still being an influence on the romantic part of my life, contributing in my distrust in males.

While I think I've gotten over most of that, it's still hard to run into that person, which ends up inevitable when you have the same group of friends.

I went to a wedding last Saturday, of course he was there.

Near the end of the wedding, he decided to bring up a deep/awkward conversation. Whhhhy?

He asked, "Are you ever going to forgive me?"

Loaded question.

We proceeded to have a conversation about how, yes, I would forgive him, but no, we couldn't really be friends in the future. It wasn't a bad conversation, and part of me is glad it's out of the way. These experiences are like little soap operas God likes to watch, I swear.

***
Have you heard the song "Landed," by Ben Folds? I feel the lyrics of this song accurately portray the way I feel about that situation and how I see J now. God will open our eyes to the truth, if we ask, to get out of the clouds. Take a listen, take a look at the lyrics.





The Lyrics:

We'd hit the bottom,
I thought it was my fault
And in a way I guess it was
I'm just now finding out
What it was all about

Moved to the west coast away from everyone
She never told me that you called
Back when I was still, I was still in love

Till I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye, I tried
And I twisted it wrong just to make it right
Had to leave myself behind
I've been flying high all night
So come pick me up...I've landed

The daily dramas she made from nothing
So nothing ever made them right
She liked to push me and talk me back down
Until I believed I was the crazy one,
and in a way
I guess I was...

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye I tried
Treading a sea of a troubled mind
Had to leave myself behind
Singing bye-bye, goodbye I tried

If you wrote me off I'd understand it
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed

And you will be so
happy to know
I've come alone,
it's over

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's by my goodbye I tried
Down comes the reign of the telephone czar
It's OK to call
Now I'll answer for myself

Come pick me up,
...I've landed

6 comments:

  1. Yikes, that does seem like one of the most awkward times to have a conversation like that. Geez...

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh dang, Ashley- I am sorry that this season happened. Love pains can be the hardest- we both know...have hope that I love you and it comes from a greater love than we can give...
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Lord, awkward turtle! Thinking of you, girl friend =)

    Jax x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, you have. You handled it very well, and very honestly.

    ReplyDelete
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