So, this past week, I joined a ministry at my church. It's called Cancer C.A.R.E.
Basically, this ministry helps with a plethora of things related to cancer: giving rides to appointments for chemo or radiation, taking care of children while their parent is at treatment, walking pets for owners who are too weak from treatment, cooking, cleaning, etc.
Tomorrow is my first assignment helping someone. She is a lady that is going to chemo and needs help getting up around her apartment for just an hour.
To be so very honest...I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!! I'm afraid of what I may see, feel, say...and all of the above. I am scared to see death staring blatantly back at me. I am scared I will not be strong enough tomorrow to handle this...
Well the truth is, I am not strong enough. But God is. I will rely on him...otherwise I will fall apart completely. Sorry for being dramatic, but this is the first time I am encountering cancer since my Dad had it about 3 years ago. This feeling I am having right now, it brings me back to that place...a vulnerable, heartbroken place.
But it's good. I should be heartbroken for God's people! It's ok to be a little frightened. Even if it may be a lot to take tomorrow, I know it will be an unforgettable lesson.
Wish me luck, please!
Reading Psalm 18, for obvious reasons...