9.28.2011

The Conqueror

I am at this age where I have an intense hunger for exploring and conquering, with no real support for my conqueror ways.

And what I mean by exploring and conquering is SEEING, DOING and PARTICIPATING in new and interesting things. Passion, life, art. Doing MORE than merely existing.

My generation, who they are deeming the new "lost generation" (how very Hemingway of them), is scrambling for answers in a shattered economy full of empty promises. And even if you are lucky enough to have a job...is it making you happy? Is it what you dreamed of? Isn't this shit supposed to be fulfilling?

That's what "they" had told us for years. Growing up, we were reminded that following the plan would bring us happiness. What kind of freakin' happiness? I'm afraid that I no longer believe that security equates to happiness.

Does every generation go through this? Like, has every twenty-something in the history of mankind gone through a mini-life crisis? For me, it's not a crisis, but a slump. I'd almost prefer a crisis, because well, that might be more exciting.

All of these questions I am posing have probably nothing to do with my job, but more to do with existentialism and figuring out what I am wanting out of life. I suppose I sound incredibly ungrateful here. But really I am just on the search. A forever quest to conquer. A deep need to live more. Am I searching in vain?

10 comments:

  1. Ohmy...girl, could not have said it better. It is a slump. I'd refer to it as a quarter-life-crisis, but I'm over 25 so it doesn't really qualify with my age anymore...haha...but it's normal and it's part of life and all I know is that we are NOT lost at all!!! :)

    We just live differently. ;)

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  2. I really dislike the lost generation talk. It just seems too extreme to me and I am really interested in talking about the unique struggles our generation faces, but I still think we're responsible for finding our way. "Lost generation" screams "just give up now!"

    Every generation does face unique challenges, but I think the 20 something crisis (or slump!) has been pretty common for at least the last few generations.

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  3. "A deep need to live more." That's where I am. I just haven't found my way yet. Keep searching!

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  4. I felt that way in my twenties, too. I think with all my searching, though, I just got more lost!

    And the culmination of all that searching and longing for "something else" is that it all blew up in my face. So I figured out the hard way what some people discover early on, and what others never learn:

    Listen to conventional wisdom. It's there for a reason. Follow good advice and stay on the straight and narrow path, even if it sounds boring. For me, this means listening to biblical wisdom and the counsel of wise men and women.

    I realize now that there is nothing in the world more fulfilling than doing what is right. That is true living! Everything else is just chasing the wind.

    D.

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  5. Anyone like you with a creative spirit needs to explore, to learn, and to take on new challenges. You won't be happy just sitting around staring off into space, sippin' on pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. As The Dude would put it, you've got to feed the monkey. Just don't try to do everything all at once. Time is God's way of making sure everything doesn't happen all at once.

    Cliche enough?

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  6. Ugh, are they calling us the lost generation? I do feel pretty lost. But I guess at least we don't have to go off and fight in a World War.

    I'm so unsure of what to do with myself.... follow my heart and unlucrative creative aspirations.... or claw my way to some kind of financial stability so I can travel more comfortably and have a more conventional (but maybe more conventionally happy?) life. sigh.

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  7. Emily...you are a woman after my own heart!

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  8. I agree that conventional wisdom is there for a reason, but security does not always equate with satisfaction. You have to seek out what YOU are meant to do, not just blindly follow a path that someone else wants you to follow (or even that you tell yourself you should follow because "it's what's done").

    I completely agree with this conquering feeling :)

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  9. Live more indeed. Explore, discover something that you can do to make you feel that "you're there"

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  10. I'm not sure I'd term us the 'lost generation' although to be fair I'm not in America right now.

    Growing up is always hard, I think we fool ourselves into thinking by the time we're in our 20s were all grown up, but I think we're a long way from it!

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