I'm not sure how to put it, other than, I'm going through it. 'It' has yet to really be defined, but let's call it my Figuring Out stage.
Here's what I know about me: I dwell and overanalyze on a topic until it can't be thought about anymore. It is my strongest and weakest attribute. It makes me a master planner and a strong critical thinker. The downside is it sends me into a tailspin when I'm in transitional phases. I hate being unsure about my next step. But life is a series of unsure moments, so I need to stop getting in a hissy fit about them.
Yes I miss London, yes I'm confused over whether San Diego is still my home and yes (!) I don't have a plan right now. These are all terrifying truths for me to face.
I don't want you to pity me or offer ideas for happiness in the comment section. Honestly, we can't always be happy. This stage and this time are not for me to be overjoyed, but to be figuring out where I want to be. It is a time for busy work, reality and laying a foundation.
I'd like to think in a year I will reread this post and smile at my little freakout of the unknown. I hope by then I get better at embracing what I can't control.
Here's what I know about me: I dwell and overanalyze on a topic until it can't be thought about anymore. It is my strongest and weakest attribute. It makes me a master planner and a strong critical thinker. The downside is it sends me into a tailspin when I'm in transitional phases. I hate being unsure about my next step. But life is a series of unsure moments, so I need to stop getting in a hissy fit about them.
Yes I miss London, yes I'm confused over whether San Diego is still my home and yes (!) I don't have a plan right now. These are all terrifying truths for me to face.
I don't want you to pity me or offer ideas for happiness in the comment section. Honestly, we can't always be happy. This stage and this time are not for me to be overjoyed, but to be figuring out where I want to be. It is a time for busy work, reality and laying a foundation.
I'd like to think in a year I will reread this post and smile at my little freakout of the unknown. I hope by then I get better at embracing what I can't control.
