What I've Been Up To (Going Crazy, But Having Fun)

Oh heyyyyyyyyyy everyone...remember little ol' me?

The reason I have been majorly absent? Finding a place in NYC has been taking up all of my sweet, sweet time. Well, ok, not ALL of it. But quite a bit. It's a little exhausting, but the quest must continue and I will find my home! Either that, or I'll become a Woody-Allen-level-of-neurotic homeless person (we can't have that).

Until that happens, let me show you what I've been up to:

1. Staying with this Amazing Friend

Meet Christian. The kind of guy that lets you stay at his place while you look for apartments. An encourager. Will give you the clothes off his back and pillow from his bed (he actually gave me his pillow and didn't tell me, and when I found out, promptly bought my own pillow so he had something to rest his head on!). Your gay date to a Roaring 20s birthday bash. An outstanding human.

2. Using Trusted Housesitters, Again



To give Christian a break, I utilized trustedhousesitters.com again and watched a little pooch named Snickers for 5 days on the Upper West Side. The picture above was the view from the studio I was staying in. I lucked out majorly!! I'm really learning to love this useful website. This is the second time it's saved my ass! Oh, and two pictures of Snickers (I miss him ALREADY):

SNICKERS FACE. I LOVE HIM!!



3. Hanging Out in Central Park like ALL THE TIME



I can't get enough of Central Park. It's gorgeous and sometimes I forget I'm in the city when I'm there (a different dimension?).

4. Working like CRAZY

I'm loving a lot of things about my job. It's hectic, it keeps me on my toes, and it's just what I needed.


***

Things are going pretty well, overall. How blessed am I that I already have friends in the City?? While not having an official place to live can be stressful, I know that will come very soon for me. I always say I'm a girl that likes challenges...well this is certainly a challenge! So cross your fingers for me and send good thoughts my way...

...and now it's time to read some of your lovely blogs that I have missed dearly! 

NYC Beginnings

I'm sitting in my friend's hot apartment, looking up places to live, downloading NYC subway apps on my phone, and having it start to hit me that NYC is my new home.

The body always goes through an initial shock with a move--physically I am in this new city, mentally I am catching up just a little.

Some things I've learned about life in the city:

• Carrying around a bottle of water with you at all times is necessary in the summer, unless you like fainting! 
• New York may have the most crazies out of any city I've been to, like the guy who spat and screamed at a police car riding by, "F**K the police!" 
• The energy in this city is contagious. You almost believe you don't need sleep. 
• Everyone has a story about how they got to NYC. I haven't met that many born-and-raised New Yorkers. 
• So many karaoke bars to go to, so little time. 
• New York may have the best food (and most choices) of any city I have ever been to. 

I'll feel very settled once I secure a place and set up my room, which should happen in about a week. That's when mentally I will know--this is home, now. 

Do I Dare? (It's Moving Time)

"Do I dare disturb the universe?" --T.S. Eliot

Yes, I do dare. I really love the quote above. It's the idea of leaping forward into the unknown, so much so that it puts (your) universe askew. I won't lie, I've had a knot in my stomach for about a week and a half. Right before a move, I always want to hold on just a little longer to that comfort zone, while wanting to let go at the same time. 

Over 3 years (!) ago I wrote this blog post when I first arrived in London, titled "Getting Lost in a Good Way." I'm ready to get lost again, this time in my own country. This will be the first time I'll live in a different state than California! I'm excited to explore. I'm excited to live. I'm excited to dare.

^ And that is the reason for all of this.

***

I don't leave until Saturday, but I felt like posting this blog now because my nervous energy is THROUGH THE ROOF! So sending positive vibes my way will make me smile (hint, hint). Plus, I'm sure I won't be blogging too much this week. Why are there always 5,867,456 things to do before a move?!? 

Let's Talk About the Hardest Part of Leaving

Picture from my Goodbye Picnic. 

I'm just one of those people: someone who always knew that living in one place, one city, for the rest of my life would be suffocating for my personal growth. And so I'm going to embark, yet again, on a new life somewhere bold and big. Because I know that this kind of challenge brings out the very best in me (and boy does it soothe my little travel-loving heart). 

BUT...it doesn't make it any easier when I have to say goodbye. 

I am a big believer in doing what's best for yourself. You can't bend backwards making everybody happy but yourself. However, when the depth of pain in my parents eyes permeates through the sliding airport doors I'll be crossing through...I know I won't be able to help but feel selfish. 

Moving forward often means leaving something else, or someone else, behind. This includes family and friends I have known for over 10, 20, 30 years--people who know me inside and out, want the best for me, support me to the fullest. And I am leaving them. It is a selfish act, and there is no other way to really put it. 

But sometimes, we do have to be selfish in order to actually contribute something in this world. I would be useless if I gave up true authenticity in exchange for making others happy. Authenticity, being true to yourself, is the best thing you or I can do to really leave a worthwhile mark in this world. When I know I'm living my authentic life, I am able to give myself more honestly, more openly, and with more passion than ever. I work harder, I love harder, and I create more.   

So as I roll my suitcases away from my parents' loving arms, as I send goodbye messages to the dearest of friends, as I start packing up this Southern California life I have known for so long, I will be walking into a new chapter that is true to who I am, and I'll rest in the comfort of knowing everyone I have to say goodbye to will be a mere plane ride away.