What's this I hear about a possible *NSYNC reunion, Lance? I won't bore you all with the details, or bring out my inner teenyboppin' nerd...so I digress...
So months, upon months ago, I told you all that I had a crush on a guy named Cute Sean. Well, I added the cute part. I had invited him to my birthday party last March, to which he never showed (because of some roomate drama explosion he later told me about, and referred to as 'the incident'). Then I stopped working at the bookstore with him...so we kinda lost touch. I wasn't bummed since he was a recent addition to my life.
So I thought it was interesting when he contacted me this week, through myspace of all places, to ask me out on a date.
The only difference between when I met him then and now is that I have acquired new views on my faith in God and the role that plays in my life. I would have dated him then...but I thought to myself, would I now?
He's still the intelligent, charming, really funny guy that I liked instantly. Did I mention he's cute? haha. So as politely as possible, I wrote back that I could not date him...not that I didn't want to, but inevitably down the line our views would conflict. Not to mention the guidelines I have for dating and how that would drive a secular guy completely insane. ( I would never want to force a guy to go by my rules alone when he didn't believe in those rules).
I felt bad after I wrote it, and knew he might be upset when he wrote back. However, this is what he wrote:
I could not understand more. You were correct in assuming that I was asking you out. In fact, I feel quite silly having done it through myspace of all things. I wanted to do it long ago but my life my extremely caotic. Its a long story and I did not want to bring you into it.
Faith is important. I understand because quite a few years ago I was with a women who's views differed greatly from mine. It caused many problems. Truth be told, I haven't felt the hand of God in my life since high school (an even longer story). I used to be an ardent baptist.
Frankly, I admire your candor and honesty. I also appreciate the kind things you said about me. My only hope is that this wasn't too awkard and that we can continue a friendship.
Animal is something I nicknamed him, that stuck with his friends (as in Animal of the Muppets). Seriously, what a great guy! But it makes me feel good to know that I'm capable of choosing the right guy in my life at the right time. Saying yes to Sean would have been unfair to both him and me.
Although it's nice to confirm that Sean did, in fact, like me and my mind wasn't playing tricks on me or something.
(and yes, I happen to have a thing for Rudy still...but that's just a developing friendship at the moment, maybe I'll post on that another time).
♫Listening to "Solitary Man" by Neil Diamond (a mantra of sorts for me, I LOVE that song)♫
A few lyrics from that song:
I've had it to here
Loves a small world
I know its been done
Girl who'll love me
Right or wrong
Weak or strong
Dont know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl wholl stay
And wont play games behind me
Ill be what I am
A solitary man
It's my song! Except, just switch the gender...since, um, I'm not a man.