Solitary (Wo)Man...Until the Right Time

What's this I hear about a possible *NSYNC reunion, Lance? I won't bore you all with the details, or bring out my inner teenyboppin' nerd...so I digress...

So months, upon months ago, I told you all that I had a crush on a guy named Cute Sean. Well, I added the cute part. I had invited him to my birthday party last March, to which he never showed (because of some roomate drama explosion he later told me about, and referred to as 'the incident'). Then I stopped working at the bookstore with him...so we kinda lost touch. I wasn't bummed since he was a recent addition to my life.

So I thought it was interesting when he contacted me this week, through myspace of all places, to ask me out on a date.

The only difference between when I met him then and now is that I have acquired new views on my faith in God and the role that plays in my life. I would have dated him then...but I thought to myself, would I now?

He's still the intelligent, charming, really funny guy that I liked instantly. Did I mention he's cute? haha. So as politely as possible, I wrote back that I could not date him...not that I didn't want to, but inevitably down the line our views would conflict. Not to mention the guidelines I have for dating and how that would drive a secular guy completely insane. ( I would never want to force a guy to go by my rules alone when he didn't believe in those rules).

I felt bad after I wrote it, and knew he might be upset when he wrote back. However, this is what he wrote:

I could not understand more. You were correct in assuming that I was asking you out. In fact, I feel quite silly having done it through myspace of all things. I wanted to do it long ago but my life my extremely caotic. Its a long story and I did not want to bring you into it.

Faith is important. I understand because quite a few years ago I was with a women who's views differed greatly from mine. It caused many problems. Truth be told, I haven't felt the hand of God in my life since high school (an even longer story). I used to be an ardent baptist.
Frankly, I admire your candor and honesty. I also appreciate the kind things you said about me. My only hope is that this wasn't too awkard and that we can continue a friendship.


Animal is something I nicknamed him, that stuck with his friends (as in Animal of the Muppets). Seriously, what a great guy! But it makes me feel good to know that I'm capable of choosing the right guy in my life at the right time. Saying yes to Sean would have been unfair to both him and me.

Although it's nice to confirm that Sean did, in fact, like me and my mind wasn't playing tricks on me or something.

(and yes, I happen to have a thing for Rudy still...but that's just a developing friendship at the moment, maybe I'll post on that another time).

♫Listening to "Solitary Man" by Neil Diamond (a mantra of sorts for me, I LOVE that song)♫

A few lyrics from that song:

I've had it to here
Bein where
Loves a small world
Part-time thing
Paper ring

I know its been done
Having one
Girl who'll love me
Right or wrong
Weak or strong

Dont know that I will
But until I can find me
The girl wholl stay
And wont play games behind me
Ill be what I am
A solitary man
Solitary man

It's my song! Except, just switch the gender...since, um, I'm not a man.


  1. Well that was a very mature, reasonable way to handle things.

    Faith was something my ex girlfriend and I argued about a lot, unfortunately. I have been a devout atheist for quite some time now, and she was deeply religious. I always did my best to respect her beliefs, and for the most part they did not impact our relationship. There were days, though, when she'd come back from church crying, and tell me that she couldn't bear the fact that I wasn't going to be saved and that I was going to hell.

    It was then I knew we just wouldn't be right for each other.

    Well, that and her whole sleeping with my best friend thing. But that came later.

  2. I love it... you mentiion love, The Muppets and Neil Diamond all in the same entry. We could be twins! (that was a joke.)

    I am so glad you were honest to Cute Sean, and that you stick to your ethical code.

  3. No, you are most definitely not a dude. Good for him, sounds like a good guy...

  4. frank--thanks! I can be mature (sometimes). Yeahhh, sounds like your ex girlfriend had some of her OWN ethical dilemmas to work out.

    Anthony--speaking of the muppets, remember long long ago when I admitted to loving Kermit's "Rainbow Connection" and you said you loved it too?? We are twins :) hehe.

    villageidiot--or am I man? hmmm...

  5. Very good post, Ashley. Extremely sensible and mature of you.

    In response to my own blog, ha, well if I could give you a giggle then my work here is done! =) Just kidding, I've got too much to say about being Stateside to just go and stop like that. I do love theatre. Big time. I've never seen Phantom, but it's on my wish list! I'll write more theatre-related blog stuff so check that out later!

    Jax x

  6. jackie--I LOVE how you say "Stateside." Makes me smile :)

  7. and for some reason, i cant get past the first line. :)
    but slightly more seriously ... everything they said plus some sort of witty, right on ashley statement.

  8. raindog--you're gonna have to deal with the fact that I was an addicted boy band fan. I have. haha. I've come to terms with my mental disease, you should too :)

  9. Neil is classic. Why settle when you can have what you want? LOVE your new lay out, BTW.