Favorite Thing Thursday

Lately, these have a been a few of my favorite things...

1. Paramore's New Album

This band has gotten surprisingly mature and clever as they've gotten older. I'm digging the new sound. Goodbye to that angsty Twilight-esque music!



2. A talk on Stoicism, which might be my favorite new philosophy.

3. Natural Deodorant 

There have been some studies coming out linking antiperspirant to breast cancer. I've known 3 young women who have all recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, and it's making me take a look at the products I am using, what I'm eating, etc. This natural deodorant actually works (I find it wears off a little toward the end of the day, so you may want to keep it in your bag). Truly better to be safe than sorry! You can find it at Sephora. 

What to Do When He Doesn't Text Back

I sort of cringe at my title, because texting as the ultimate form of communication nowadays seems so lame, but it’s just the way we do things now. But I digress, onto my post...

I wrote in a previous post how I feel more open and ready for love than ever before. It's funny that when you remain open to just the idea of it, suitors will indeed come your way. You may not want to date every suitor, but they will start coming...did I just use the word suitor?  

Since I wrote the above mentioned post, 3 guys have come my way. Two of them I wasn't so keen on, but the third, I definitely liked: he was well travelled, good looking, and had a lot of ideas about life I agreed with. Plus, we met on the plane and WHO doesn't like that story?! 

There was texting back and forth--A LOT at first. And then there were a couple failed meet-up attempts. Finally, after one such failed attempt (because of his busy work schedule), I wrote a final text message that clearly stated how I felt and what I wanted. 

A lot of people will tell you not to do such a thing. They say it seems desperate, and that the woman is supposed to play hard to get, and that it scares some people off. Well, I do think it scares some people off--the wrong people! 

He never got back. 

In the past, I would have really fixated on this dude. I'd forgive his half-assed attempts of trying to get together, instead of asking for what I wanted. I'd let the texting continue (maybe he liked the attention?). I could be strung along for months. All of this because I liked a few traits about him and decided, in my mind, that he was special. This is an insane thing I used to do in my past. Why? Because subconsciously I was afraid of real intimacy with a man so I would choose to fixate, love, and fantasize about men that were unavailable to me. 

Well, this has been the year of breaking up my old habits. And so I had the BALLS to send a message  expressing the truth. 

I'm actually not mad at the guy, despite some bad manners, because he truly is a likable, fun person. However, I had to face the reality of the situation: although he was texting me for awhile, and although we got along swimmingly on the plane, he just wasn't coming through any longer. Maybe he lost interest. Maybe his work life is too demanding. Who cares? The point is you can't expect someone to meet you where you are if they are simply not in that place. It's like being in Albuquerque and becoming livid over a person who's hanging out over in Phoenix and physically can't meet you in Albuquerque. Why get mad? 

So what to do if you send a gutsy text to which he never replies? 

You move on. You brush it off and realize that everything is as it should be. You grab a bottle of wine with your gal pal and cook dinner together, and you laugh your ass off. You realize that although you liked him a lot, he's not the only cute, well-traveled guy out there. You start asking for what you want more often because you realize you're becoming a complete boss. 

You remain being open and ready for love, because what you're asking for will come to you. 

**

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The World from Merlin's Point of View

The above shot is from my friend Solene's apartment in Versailles. Besides the glorious view, the thing I love the most about this picture is the little cat you can find at the bottom of it.

Little Merlin would climb up on this windowsill and watch the world go on beautifully around him. It's hard to tell from the photo, but the square below would get packed with midday markets, people eating and laughing over crepes, motorcycles whizzing by, and the lovely unfolding of Versailles daily life.

Merlin would look down on all of these happenings as if he were the mightiest little lion watching over his vast kingdom. Merlin taught me once again to stop, look around, and simply notice life.

I would stand behind Merlin the Mighty (his new name) to watch it all, and we would gaze together at the sunset, eager for what the next day might offer us. We never took this view for granted; moreover, I think this view will forever challenge me on days when I'm taking life for granted.

The 10,000 Hour Rule

I've been reading a book called Outliers which touches on the idea of the 10,000 hour rule. This rule states to become an expert at something you must practice it 10,000 hours. Obviously, musical instruments and sports come to mind, but this can be applied to anything.

On my flight back to the States a few days ago, I talked about the book with a guy next to me and he asked "What have you done for 10,000 hours?"

I thought for a second and realized that the answer is writing. This blog has singlehandedly prompted me to write up a storm for a good 12 years. 12 YEARS I'VE HAD THIS BLOG. 

I've not written as much the last two years--the entire time I've been in New York City. Unfortunately, that shows me how New York City suppresses my creative energy. It's also the amount of years I've been full time at my job, so I've also just been BUSY.

I'm slowly inching my way back into the joy of writing as it's something that releases anxiety and brings clarity to my life--it's a form of meditation for me. I feel a tad rusty, but it's already feeling great hearing that 'tap tap tap' on the keyboard. It's a reminder to make time for the things you love, a.k.a., the things you are willing to practice for 10,000 hours. If all of a sudden you've stopped practicing something you've invested that much time in, things may be off balance, and it's time to take restock of how you spend your day.

As I've spent the last 2 months on the road, I now think it's time to write write write all the thoughts, experiences, and conclusions floating around in my head. Hello writing, it's me again, Ashley!

What have you practiced for 10,000 hours? 



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