To Stay or Not to Stay?

Ok, so michelle brought up a really important question on her blog that I've been contemplating for a long long time. That question is, should I graduate a year later than I planned?

Typically, you are supposed to graduate in 4 years. However, my school is way overcrowded. We have over 30,000 students at this freakin' school, which makes it a little difficult to get classes sometimes. That's not to say that I can't do it. I'm actually able to graduate in 4 years.

Here are the pros to graduating in 4 years:

• I would graduate on time. That has to "look good" in general.
• I'd obviously be saving moo-lah. And dude, I am poor. And my dad has reminded me that he will only help out financially for 4 years. And that's understandable. It would really suck to be in debt...and the consequences of being in debt would follow me FOREVER. I'm not saying that I would go in debt, but it's quite possible.
• It's a new/exciting time in life I wouldn't have to wait for.
• How much more school and studying can I really take?

Here are the pros to gradutating in 5 years:

• I don 't want to grow up. I want to stay in school forever. Believe me, I realize the childishness of this argument, but it doesn't mean I don't feel it. Am I ready to enter the work force? I mean, am I really ready? I know that no one is REALLY prepared and really I should just get over it...but I also don't want to be a little lamb ripped apart by the hungry wolves in the world...I want to feel MORE prepared.
• If I take less classes per semester (since they would be spread out over 2 years rather than one) I could actually fit some internships in. It would be fantastic (and wise) to have some internships (even just one) under my belt. Not just for resumes, but to gain experience and knowledge in general.
• I could actually work for the newspaper. I know I've brought this up many, many times before, but I've never had time for it. If I'm gonna write for the newspaper, I want to actually be on the staff, and not just a contributing writer. I want to put my all into it. And there's no way I have time for that now or next year (if I were to graduate).
• I'm not going to grad school, so it't not like I'm adding on yet another year of schooling onto my list. After San Diego State, I'm done.
• I just don't feel ready to graduate. I just don't. I know that I still have another year to really assess if I feel ready...but is year really that much time???

Ok, so I've hit every angle, I believe. If you actually read this huge tangle of an argument, give me some feedback. Tell me what you did and how it went. I'm curious, and I'm confused. I just need help in general!!

Oh, I'm lost.

Soooo I had to go and do it.

And now I've done it and I'm hooked. For-ever. Forrrr-evvvv-errrrr.

I freakin' watched LOST on ABC last week, and now I can't stop watching it. That show reminds me of Stephen King movies, like hardcore. It's such a mystery/pain in the ass to watch, but I love it so very much now.

The episode that was on tonight was INSANE!!! I loved it!

Dammit!! I didn't want to be hooked on any T.V., but there's no escaping it!!! Damn you LOST!!!

I love fruit snacks. and good shirt sayings.

Mmmmm. I'm eating fruit snacks right now, they are so delightfully good! I used to loooove fruit roll-ups when I was a wee little girl, so I love eating fruity-snacky-type things now cause they remind me of a simpler time.

I'm not too stressed out right now. And I won't be this week. And that's cause ALL of my finals are conveniently next week...so I will be conveniently stressed out then. Cause why would I study this week when I can study everything next week, right? Sounds like a plan to me.

The other day I saw a shirt that made me laugh for a good minute. It said "Procrastinators of the world unite, tomorrow!"

hahaha. I love it.

What?

How come it's overcast in SUNNY San Diego???

WHAT is up with that?

Ahhhh...with every tick of the clock finals do cometh closer!! Man the gates! Let's try to fend those bloody finals off!! Those wank buggers are going down!!

It's ok, I've got weapons: Famous Amos cookies, Pringles, Kix cereal, taquitos and cheeeeeese. Mmmmm. I'm set. Next stop? Stress City. (I'll try to not stress too much).

Fresh Sunday Air

Oh my goodness.

It's Sunday and I have NOTHING to do today. NOTHING. I am in. heavenly.bliss. Especially cause I was freaking out earlier this week, not to mention yesterday when I lost my debit card. I know, I know...smooooooth.

But in the midst of freaking out over my lost debit card, I learned that one of my dad's best friends died. He was a jolly, happy, hilarious man...and all of a sudden, I felt selfish. Selfish for freaking out over a stupid lost piece of plastic.

Someone lost a dad yesterday. Someone lost a lover yesterday. Someone lost a chunk of their heart yesterday.

And so today, I'm revelling in being alive. And learning to relax a little more this week. And learning to just take it easy--that's right, easy like sunday morning. :)

And I just want to say, rest in peace, dear Doyle, for you were a lovely man.

How am I still typing?

WOW. I am amazed. I finished that loooooong ass essay I had to write...it didn't end up being, ahem, 15 pages...but the 12 1/2 pages I did manage to squeeze out will have to do. Seriously, that was the longest essay I've ever had to write, cause in Journalism, there's no such thing as a freakin' 15-page article!!! Freakin Poli Sci! You nearly killed me, you and your long research papers!!!

So I feel slightly better. A little more relaxed. And I started reading a new book. A book that everyone and their mom has read, but a book none the less. It's The Da Vinci Code. Have you heard of it? Maybe not, it's kind of quaint and hasn't had much publicity, you know? haha. I figured I would give that freakin' book a go.

Alright, I'm off to bed soon, cause I'm tired. More than tired, I'm exhausted. Writing a loooong ass essay then working right after will do that to ya. Go figure. And bed sounds sooooooo very nice right now, ahhhhhh....

Headaches are abundant this time of year.

I'm on my second cup of coffee today and my head is doing circles around my body. Probably won't be my last cup, as to remain sane in this crazy, stressful life.

Yeah, I'm definitely stressed. I need to whip out 15 pages of political nonsense, try to sound smart and caring about it, and have it all done by Friday. And I love politics, but this is on campaigns and elections, and it all kind of makes me sick. It's the most devious, horrible aspect of politics. I figure I'll write about something easy like how Clinton layed the SMACKDOWN on Bush in '92. Hahaha...I'm totally a liberal. I just don't feel like whipping out a research paper...but this is my punishment for procrastinating. Serves me right!!

I just want it to be summer soooooooo bad. I just want to not be confused about life. Wait, that NEVER happens. There I go being analytical again *pinching myself*....ahhhh, what am I going to do with myself this week?????

Life is Funny and Strange

What you think one day might be changed the next day. And why is that? Why is it that humans have the capability of changing their minds? Do animals have that capability? It's a burden that we have, and a blessing too.

I don't know what I'm really rambling on about...all I know is that today is confusing and I am officially perplexed.

Why do I torture myself so?

Just some snapshots from my formal...

I really love this picture, Lara and I look FABULOSO!
Just showing off my make-up in a dorky way...
Forget the westside in the background, I like this picture, anyway.
I have hot friends, don't I?

So yeah, I could have put pictures of Carlos on here, but I didn't want to exploit him. Even though I just exploited all my other friends, haha. But you get the point. Yay for pictures! I love them!

Um, yeah.

All I have to say about The White House Correspondents Dinner is that Colbert SLAMMED the President. And not just the President, but the media too. Harsh!

And whether or not you thought it was appropriate, you gotta give him some props for standing up and speaking his mind freely RIGHT in front of the president. That took some guts. And again, though maybe not appropriate, THANK GOD for freedom of speech--something all Americans should agree on.

We have the freedom to make fun of Republicans, Democrats and all the in-betweens. I highly value and cherish that freedom.

And I will say that President Dubya actually did a fabulous job this time around when it came to his speech. Say it with me..."nuclear proliferation."

About my weekend:

Ahhhhh...I got 10 hours of sleep, and I feel mighty fine. Yesterday I was getting a little grumpy. Ashley without sleep+a day of work and meetings=a not very happy/lively girl. But today I feel a little more refreshed!

Sooooo, about my formal. I had a lot of fun. Good thing Sweater Guy liked to dance cause, honey, I like to get down. Do you not remember my last picture? Come on now! Of course I still get a tad nervous around him. I'm never gonna help that though. When I'm excited about something, about anything really, nervousness comes along with the package. It's just part of my personality, I guess.

My favorite part: slow dancing, of course. Cause I LOVE it. I LOVE dancing cheek to cheek with all of my little heart.

And yeah, I like him (well DUH, you people know that). But I'm in no rush to start anything. He's gonna be here for the summer and I'm gonna be here for the summer too. And that'll be a good time to really become his friend.

****

I don't know how one goes about turning around her worrying ways, since I worry WAY too much, but I'm attempting. Here's for a summer of just letting things flow, and here's to cutting down my over-analyzing mind!