Can I have a piece of the man of steel?

Cause, frankly, he's beautiful. Don't I have good reasons for going to see movies?

ha. But in all seriousness, I saw Superman last night and it was really good. It had beautiful imagery in it. almost stunning. And I really want a hot man to take me flying--you know without a plane. Let's just forget that that's impossible. ha ha.......oh well.

I've been sort of absent recently on this blog. Maybe cause during school I need it--to escape, to vent, to share my secrets to, and all of the above. But I'm getting all of that right now without the blog. I'm getting it by taking spontaneous trips to the beach and just leaving time for myself, while during school....there is no such thing as free time.

Anyway, it's still fun to write in fits of inspiration....such as the beauty of Superman! I would love to kiss this guy, look at his lips! Ok, I realize that some guys read this blog, and I'll stop, cause this part isn't interesting to you, haha. Hope you're having a good day. I'll leave you with a picture of Superman...so the ladies can SEE what I'm talkin' bout.

Santa Barbara Dreamin'

This week has been a bit exhausting because of work. I've been working 9-5 everyday. A depressing shift physically, mentally, and poetically to boot.

But tomorrow I get to drive to Santa Barbara with my sister to help her move some stuff. I love driving...it's where I actually get to wind down. The breeze, the music, the winding road....I love it all.

And Santa Barbara is lovely. If you've been there then you know.

I guess I have nothing interesting to say. I'm just going to drink my coffee now and gain some fake energy for a day of work. Oh, and it's my mom's birthday today...duh. Did I ever tell you that my mom had me WAY later in life? She was 44 when I was born. Yeah.

So I'll have to do something special for her...cause family and friends ALWAYS come first.

Summer does a heart good.

Wow. I'm realizing how much of myself I started to lose this year. I was stressed. My smile was fading. My heart sank just a little.

But giving myself time to relax is doing my soul good. Just going to the beach and watching the waves roll in and out, in and out...it cleanses my brain of all of those insecurities and stresses I was building up. I was draining myself of life!

The 2005-2006 school year was not the best year for me...cause I let little things give me ulcers and heart attacks almost every day. That does not do a body good (FYI, haha).

But I'm realizing again, like I realized long ago...that I'm beautiful.

And I don't mean that in a bragging/superficial way.

What I mean is that every girl should realize her inner beauty. Why do we stress ourselves out trying to please EVERYONE? You'll end up ripping yourself to shreds trying to do that.

There's an inner beauty inside of me that I've been hiding from people this year...why? Why not let it shine? Why not let it peak past the mountain tops the way escaping rays from the dawning sun does? It's been hidden for so long, cause I've kept it captive. It's ready to be released again.

I am confident and I am a woman. That is what being beautiful is about. Not about thinking you're not good enough. No, being beautiful is about knowing damn well that you are good enough.

That is the knowledge I've gained today. I am beautiful...and so are you, my friend. (Now let's go play a Mr. Roger's tape and hug each other, shall we?)

Maria!

I'm so VERY glad that my musical-obbsessed roomate decided to show me one of her favorite movies yesterday. Cause it is now one of my favorites....I love it!!

You have heard of West Side Story, right?

haha, kidding.

Of course I had heard of it before, but I just never watched it. I adore it now. Why don't guys dance like that anymore? Why don't we make movies like that anymore? And Natalie Wood, she looked absolutely amazing.

****

In other news today, I'm going to watch the U.S. yet again play in the World Cup against Italy today. Now listen boys, you better be aggressive and give a damn this time cause Italy ain't no joke. They will slaughter your ass (even more so than the Czech Republic did).

So that's where I'm off to now. Let's not make a fool of ourselves!!

Get me outta here!!!

AHHHHH!!!! I must travel.

I need to travel. Must travel soon. I miss Europe SOOOOOO much!!

Good thing Jaclyn and I are going to Colorado soon, cause I need to go SOMEWHERE, and fast.

I love San Diego, but need my roadtrip!!!!! It's like 4 weeks away....can I wait?

The Most Selfish of Societies

Have you heard that Paris Hilton is releasing an album? You can't hear me right now, but I'm laughing as I type this. Oh Sweet Jesus.

I don't like Paris Hilton, like most sensible people, for the sheer fact that she is completely worthless to society. Dude, even Britney Spears has helped out with charity. At least she has that. But Paris...what has she done? Well, she's bleached her hair multiple times, bought designer clothes to her shallow heart's desire, and, oh yeah, has made a sex tape. Let's not forget about that contribution.

I hate to sound so utterly mean about one person that I don't know. But it reality, this is how I feel about A LOT of celebrities.

What I'm realizing now (and what I didn't realize when I was 16) is that a lot of celebrities are the people in society that never grow up. As in, they need constant attention, and are completely selfish--Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, a few rappers...you could think of a few as well.

And it sort of disgusts me. You're in your 20's!!!!! And 30's!!! And 40's!!! But where is your sense? And where is your heart? Or do you only love yourself? Help society out for once and stop thinking about how well your $500 shoes match your $700 purse!!!

As I've continued to grow older, I've started to realize what is actually important in life--the people that surround you and how you contribute back to those people. There are very few celebrities now-a-days that realize this simple fact. So why do we idolize them again??

Tells you a lot about our society, huh?

The American Way

It feels good to just sit here in the still in the still of the morning, sipping my sugary coffee from my little blue cup. As much as I like sleeping in, I forgot how wonderful this silence is.

I appreciate silence when others find it awkward. Maybe I'm just awkward, haha.

Maybe I'm enjoying not working...I'm just sitting here and taking in the moment.

I've been dying a little at work, cause we've been busy and under-staffed all at the same time. Glorious. And you know the American way: work until you die, work all day...just prove that you're the best.

But once you prove that you're the "Best," what do you get? Pride doesn't make a happy life.

It just doesn't make sense: why do Americans work their lives away? It hurts my head everytime I think about it. Americans work a lot to have a better life...but when do we get to live if we're working all the time???

I know you've pondered this too.

Why are so many things in life ridiculous?

My silent morning is coming to end, now I'm off too work (sadface). Ohhhh, how I wish I could live in Europe!!

Anger 101

Alright, Alright, Alright. So somtimes I get mad, and it's over stupid things. It happens! Jaclyn knows, haha.

So tonight I got a little upset, and it was over a stupid reason, and my friend (I call him "big bro" since he's my big brother in a fraternity, if you know that business) was the one who set off my anger.

FYI: When I get mad, I like to be left alone. When my big bro gets someone mad, he does everything he can to fix the problem--like ask that mad person "Are you ok?" a lot.

Soooooooooo, there's sort of a problem there.

Does anyone else do what I do? When I'm mad, I don't want to fix it right away. I need that time to vent/throw a fit/be quiet/do whatever makes me feel better. Talking about it in the moment does not make me feel better. That is reserved for the day after.

I just felt like a bitch/knew I was acting kind of mean when I wouldn't answer his "Are you ok?" questions. I know that he means well. I can't hide anger when I'm angry...I just can't. And I can't stop it at the time, either.

Oh well.

Speaking of anger, did any of you catch the World Cup game between the U.S. and the Czech Republic??? Wow, we got shut down. It was embarrassing, to say the least.

So yeah, this post is depressing. You shouldn't be reading it and I shouldn't be writing it. haha, yet I still do. Hope you had a good day!!

I just don't understand.

All he had to do was show that he cares, and all the feelings came back to life.

Why? Am I desperate or something?

I think I actually still like him, although I was trying to tell myself that I didn't. You can't persuade the heart to not feel something it wants to feel.

I just thought I was done here. So what's going on?

Yeah, I think too much. We've already established that. But I still think about him. I still like him.

**I understand that this post may be confusing, but I haven't been posting about my love life (or lack there of) cause I was completely confused by it. And now I am more confused. So look at that! We're all confused here.**

I Say a Little Prayer for Us...

I HAD to post today simply because it is 6-6-06. Ahhhhhh! That's insane!!

And yeah, I'm going to see the Omen today. It's very fitting. But like I've said before, little devil children in movies scare the shit out of me. Oh gee, and I'm going to see a movie about the anti-christ. How special.

I just hope that crazy people (cause America definitely has some) don't pull any insane stunts today because of the date. It's happened before and you know it'll happen again.

So I say a little prayer for our safety. Oh yeah, and today is election day in CA. That is so priceless, I can't put it into words. hahahahahaha!!!!!! I love it!!!!!! Let's just elect the anti-christ please?

You just can't make this crap up. Real life is hilarious, I've decided.

The Rockies are callin' my name.

So remember I posted about wanting to take a trip REALLY badly?? Cause when I don't travel I feel like one of those stupid Americans that stay in their own little suburbia world and don't go anywhere?

Well Jaclyn (my partner in crime, and Rubio's excursions) and I decided that we should go to Colorado. No real reason why, excpet that it's not California, and it would be KICK ASS to leave the state.

Oh yeah, and Colorado is gorgeous like whoa.

There's just the small task of asking pops if I can borrow his car for the trip. Cause my '84 BMW would flip me the finger if I asked it to make that long trip. My Beamer is super touchy, and kind of a bitch sometimes, you know?

Yeah, so I don't know how to go about asking my dad to just give me his car. Must think of clever ways to go about it.

Unitl I figure it out, I'm excited. Yay for bad ass road trips (a 13-hour trip approximately)!!!

Put your hands where my eyes can see, yo.

So, you guys are gonna laugh at me, but I'll tell you anyway.

You know the show Total Request Live, right? Yeah, that show. Well it was in San Diego yesterday...and what did I do? I went to it.

I can make fun of myself, don't worry, cause it's quite funny.

And let me just say, the 13-year-old teeny-bopper in me secretly wished that *NSYNC would magically appear. Cause I used to watch that show when they were around, and yeah, I was a big fan. OK, a HUGE fan.

Did I honestly just mention that? I guess I have to reveal my secrets sooner or later.

ANYWAY...Ashlee Simpson was on (who indeed had a visible nose job...and I mean REALLY visible). She seemed nice, but fake mostly. So fake that during one part of the interview I wanted to cut off my arm and throw it at her, just to stop her from talking. But what did I expect from the Simpson family anyway? Not much. And that's what I got.

The GOOD part of the show was seeing Busta Rhymes perform, 1. because he's kind of lovable, and 2. because he's a KICK ASS performer. He controlled that crowd. And I love to dance, so I highly enjoyed it. I'm not even a big fan of rap! But it was great, really. I got down.

All I have to say is that it's funny to see what people wear, say and do to get on T.V., and it kind of makes me sad for America. What's the big deal anyway?

In the end, I got to dance and go to the beach at the same time...so it was great. I went to TRL and I'll admit it, damn it!!!!!

Give me music and the highway, please.

You know what song I've been overplaying recently? I may have mentioned this before, but let's mention it again. "Someone to Watch Over Me." I adorrrrrrrrre that song for it is so very gorgeous. The two best versions are by Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald.

And to my delight, a co-worker with a beautiful voice sang it for me the other night. And she did a dead-on job, too. I couldn't move while she sang. My world just stopped and I had to close my eyes while the most beautiful of sounds resonated the air around me.

I ♥ music. The same thing happens to me with pianos too. Any piano that I hear playing around me makes me freeze in my steps.

For both, there has to be passion behind each note...and sadly, there's not much music that has that these days. Don't get me wrong, I still love to get superficially lost in the lastest pop song or rock out to old Bon Jovi tunes.

But real music creates it own world, a golden world free of sadness and pain. Even if the song is painful, it elevates you another place--a place where your pain vanishes. That's the best music.

You know what else is on my mind? Traveling. I MUST travel soon or I will lose my head. Seeing as I am poor and cannot afford to go to Italy like I would love, I'll have to settle for driving somewhere.

My wonderful friend Jaclyn and I have been devising a plan to head out on the open road toward Yosemite. A camping trip with the most beautiful of surroundings! And I haven't been there before, either. I'm excited and I PRAY that it will happen.

If I don't travel this summer, I'm gonna rip out my hair. And to think--I know people that haven't even been out of Southern California. WHAT is wrong with those fools??????

Alright, I'm done rambling for today. Just thought I'd share what's on my mind. :)