No real words to say

So, my uncle is in intensive care right now. I know I haven't talked about him here for awhile...I guess I don't know what to say about the situation anymore.

I guess we as humans have to understand that life certainly has a cycle that can't be ignored or postponed. It's becoming clear to me now.

There's only been two other times that I've experienced the pain of death. The first was my Grandma--she had Parkinson's Disease and cancer. The Parkinson's came first, and left her unable to walk and do the things she enjoyed, so she was actually happy to get cancer. She actually smiled when she got the news. After 6 months of Hospice and pain, she was gone. But, there is something comforting in knowing that she had a long, fufilling life. Though it doesn't take away the pain, it's more accepted, it doesn't sting as much.

What really stung was my second experience with death. A childhood friend, Garrett Roads, was killed in a car accident at the age of 17. That one stung hard. It may be the reason I'm so against war, and the idea of sending 18,19 and 20 year olds overseas to die. After seeing the magnitude of hurt Garrett's death caused, I have realized that death isn't something to be taken lightly--especially when read off as a list in a magazine or new program.

So then we come to my uncle. 52 and not old enough yet. He's just not old enough to pass. My dad is on edge. This is his younger brother--someone he has always looked out for and protected. This is killing my dad, for he can't do anything. All he can do is sit back and watch a tragedy unfold.

And all I can do is pray. All I can do is hope for the best. All I can do is think about my cousin, and what he's feeling right now.

I guess there's not much more I can say about death excpet that it just comes--you're never ready for it (although my Grandma was, we weren't) and it never waits for your approval. It just hurts. It's like losing a part of yourself, it's like stabbing a part of your heart.

What can I say? I'm praying for you Uncle Paul.