One more picture...

I just can't stop posting tonight. People keep sending me pictures...yay!

Just one more, cause the lights are all trippy in the background, and I'm trying to do the Karate Kid pose. The problem is, I don't have balance:

I just can't quit the life of a hustler:

I don't know what it is with me and gangsta pics, buuuuuuuuuuut, I'm not stopping my addiction anytime soon. Don't mess with Sigma Kappas, suckas!

p.s. I was indeed sagging for this pic and wearing red shiny boxers at that. Ohhhhhh, I love it.

My poor commie professor.

So, I got this e-mail from my professor (the whole class did). But before I post the e-mail, let me tell you a little about this professor. He's a recent Grad Student. No more than 23 or 24. He's Italian, so he has this hilarious/cute/funny accent. He just might me on meth--he scratches his hands and head ALL the time. He's definitely a Communist. I don't mean this as an insult. I mean, he's actually commie material.

But I like the guy. He's not all there, granted, but I still like him. This is the class where I'm reading Machiavelli.

Ok, here's the e-mail:

Dear Students, Good news. Your voodoo is working. I had to have surgery on monday and I had to cancel class today. There is a chance that I will not be able to have class on thursday. I will keep you informed. Please continue to do the readings as assigned. Be sure to modulate your evil eye to disabling but non-lethal levels.

e

Sadness. Hopefully the guy is alright, cause he's entertaining and cool. You can tell from the e-mail, haha.

Alright, that's really all that happened today. Not very eventful.

Oh, and I watched Spiderman. If you didn't know, James Franco is in that movie. hehehehehe...oh, my dorkiness is so sad sometimes. So, so sad.

Better Do Them Crunches

Ok. So I saw "Annapolis" yesterday. That's right McMullan, if you are reading this, I saw it! I gave into my superfical side and saw it, dammit!! I paid eight freakin' fifty to see some damn abs. Why see "The Matador" when I can see some abs? You heard me right.

And you know what? It was worth it. The story line was completely predictable. The movie really wasn't good....but you know what? James Franco is reallllllllllllllllllllllllllly hot.

Yeah. I can be superficial. I'm admitting it! What do you fools want to do about it?

How about join me next time I go to a movie? heh heh heh...alright.

Something's different, right?

yessssssss. I changed my title. It was, ahem, time for a change. No reason really, I just got bored. And "She's Come Undone" is a pretty cool song.






Don't worry, I still LOVE coffee. I just happen to like change just as much.
Yeah. That's all.

Machiavelli pretty much kicks ass.

Ok...so I'm reading The Prince for my political theory class. I'm sure a lot of you have read it too. I mean, Machiavelli is the man. Or maybe you think he's not the man. A LOT of people thinks he sucks. I think he's pretty great. And pretty damn clever.

There is a quote from The Prince that I find really beautiful. My prof read it in class and it was one of those passages that just spoke to me. I loved it. Here it is:

"When evening comes, I go back home, and go to my study. On the threshold I take off my work clothes, covered in mud and filth, and put on the clothes an ambassador would wear. Decently dressed, I enter the ancient courts of rulers who have long since died. There I am warmly welcomed, and I feed on the only food I find nourishing, and was born to savor...I forget every worry. I am no longer afraid of poverty, or frightened of death. I live entirely through them."

I bet good ol' Machiavelli didn't know I would live entirely through his words. I bet he didn't know how much of a great he would looked upon as. There's something magical in reading a book written over 500 years ago and still getting something out of it.

Simply magical and simply beautiful.

Pictures of My Posse

Simply because I love to post pics, here are a few more of us chicas acting insane:
In this picture, we are trying to make the Kappa to go along with the Sigma, but not really succeeding. A for effort? How about K for effort? heh heh...I love the cheesiness.Dressed up as schoolgirls here. We'll teach you a thing or two. hahaha. You may not be able to tell, but I have a Griffindor symbol thing on my sweater. yeah. I'm just that cool.

I love my girls.....because we are nerds. But sexy nerds. Heck yeah!

On Beautiful Men, the Chinese, and Having a Throwdown with Spyware

I think Jesse Bradford's little side smirk is completely adorable. Case in point (upper right pic):

welllllllllllllllllllllllllll, really he's just adorable in general.

ANYWAY, onto tangible subjects (although I wish that beautiful man was in front of me and easy to touch--did I just say that? heh...yeah, pretty much).

In class today, my Comm 502 prof gave all of us an article about a case and said, "Ok, you need to do 5 things with this article: 1. tell how the case is relevant to this course, 2. tell the story behind this case, 3.tell where you got the information to tell this story, and 4.were there any limitations behind to getting this story."

This is the craziest assignment I've seriously gotten. He wants us to (no kidding) call the people in the actual case to get the background information. I can just see it now "um...soooo, I'm doing a project for class, can you give me some info so I can, like, get an A???"

The problem with my case??? There is one HUGE one!! My article is on a case in China...a case on politics. There are two limitations here:

1. I don't speak Chinese.
2. Even if I found a Chinese person that spoke English, I STILL wouldn't call up asking about the politics of their country. Seeing as our two countries don't have the best relations, that's a good way to get KILLED.

What made me mad was the group before my group got a case in Turkey. HELLO! I totally could have gotten scoops from my cousins. So that sucks.

Oh well. So that was my day. That and I had to wage a war against Spyware that was attacking my computer. I won. They shouldn't mess with me and my army of Spyware fighters.

Again, I ask WHY?

WHY?

Why is this book soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring? Why, why, why? There is no reason for this. Campaigns and elections are interesting. Yet, somehow, the authors made it EXCRUCIATINGLY boring!!!!! W h y would you do that????

and WHY is Alito a candidate for supreme court justice? Alito is a sucky man. So why?

What is wrong with the world??? My god!

Who would you want as a friend?

You know why politicians PISS me off so much?

• They lie. Those fools lie as much as Pinocchio. And they're still not real boys (or real girls).
• They put a freakin' "spin" on everything.
• They only really care about themselves. WHEN are you actually gonna do something for America and stop worrying about your damn reputation?

You know why I like and respect journalists?

• They tell it like it is, plain and smile. None of this spin crap.
• They bring attention to the problems in America that politicians always try to cover.
• They simply KICK ASS.

I just had to say this. Not like you guys don't know it already.

I brought this up because I had to watch a video on the campaign trails of two candidates...and it made my skin crawl.

I could probably count on my hand the number of politicians that have REALLY helped America.

But the number of journalists that have worked to keep the country strong and free (for not much pay)? Too many too count.

Gossip is just gossip, and nothing more...

I learned yesterday that someone at work was making negative comments about me. They said "Ashley never works. All she does is talk to Michael all day."

Ok, so that's partly true. When I first starting working at this job...I was such a great little worker. And eventually they made me a supervisor. That's when my working habits started to slip. And the fact that I have been there FOREVER and the job is SO repetitive, that I've been bored with it. I mean, this is why I am going to college--to get a job that will challenge me and keep me happier (duh!).

But to say I never work? Simply not the truth. I would obviously get fired if I never worked.

Anyway, after I learned of this trivial gossip, I went to Michael to tell him (Michael is a manager, by the way). I expected him to say something to the effect of "Well, yeah, you do talk to me a lot. You know it's true..."

However, after I told Michael, he looked up at me, smiled and said, "Don't worry. They're just jealous."

And that is why I love Michael. :)

Just an Ordinary Girl

I realized today that I don't have a day off. Like ever. I'm either working, or going to school, or both. I'm not stressed out or anything (yet), I'm just saying.

Just a random thing to add: today at work someone told me that I'm classically pretty and that I look like the chicks out of 50's magazines. That was a nice compliment. I've never much liked the compliment "you're cute." And sometimes I get annoyed with image comments all together. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. But I liked this one--since I was being compared to the classy girls. I really can't argue with that.

well...that's all for today. Going to sleep then back to work tomorrow!!!!

WAIT...there is one more thing. I think I'm DEFINITELY going to try out for the school newspaper this semester. I know, I've brought this up before but haven't followed through. But now I have more time. And more will. I'll write more about this later.

GOODNIGHT! and a kiss from me to you (wink).

Hot Off the Press (er...Digital Camera, I mean)

Soooooooooooo, it's been awhile. Since I've posted pictures, that is. So I'm doing just that. Especially cause you guys said that you wanted to see me in color. Well here you can see all my dorkiness in color. And my little friend too. hehehe. Jack's the best!

Jaclyn and I are waiting for our dinner here. Aren't we cute? Yes. It's true.
Trying to be gangster-ish, but failing miserably. I couldn't keep a staright face.
Again here we are being cute. We just can't help ourselves!!!!!!
GOD. That's hot. The end.

On Books and Brainwashing

My Poli Sci 496 class: interesting.

My Poli Sci 496 book: not interesting.

Why is this?

And yesterday we watched a video in this class. It followed the campaign trail of Republican Oliver North (oh god--he is a post in himself, I may save that for another day). At one of the stops of the campaign, they showed a supporter's child (about 4 yrs. old) holding a gun. They asked the kid, "Now, what do you shoot with that gun?"

The kid answered, "Democrats."

Can you believe that?????? Major brain-washing going on!!! Geeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Alright, that's all for today. I don't have much else to talk about. Reading the first chapter of that Poli Sci book kind of drained me of life.

Comm 502 rocks my socks!!

Ok, sooooooooooooooooooooo, I thought Comm 502 (Law of Mass Communication) was going to be a boring class. But the teacher actually kicks ass. Like, he kicks major ass. And, duh, it mostly covers the 1st amendment. And OF COURSE the first amendment would be interesting to me. So I'm pretty excited for that class.

I'm also taking a Poli Sci class that covers EVERYTHING about Campaigns and Elections. Should be interesting stuff.

I had a good day overall--went shopping...er...window shopping with Rachel and we had fun just being girls.

I still don't want to see what my bill will be for books, so I haven't shopped for those yet. Procrastination is my friend :)

Anyway, that's really all that went down today. The first couple days of classes are always nice...then it gets down and dirty. So I'll enjoy this short "nothing" period while I can.

Damn you grocery shopping!!!

Damn you and your over-pricey-ness!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you know that I am a poor, poor college student??? DON'T you realize??????

Damn you!




Oh me, oh my. Classes start tomorrow. I wasn't entirely ready for that.

A Good Start...

"I do believe it's true
That there are notes left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you,
Well, I hope it takes me too...

So brown eyes I'll hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere."

I love this song. And I love the line that I highlighted.

Soooooo pretty.

By the way, did I ever tell you guys that pretty was my first word? After the standard "moms" and "pops" of course. Or something like that. Just thought I'd throw some random Ashley trivia out there.

3 things I am doing right now:

1. Sitting in my apartment in my pajamas. I love it.
2. Drinking GREAT coffee from Guatemala...mmmmmm.
3. Listening to some GREAT music.
4. Not working....SUCKERS!!!! But alas, school starts tomorrow. But we will not think about that right now.
5. Being Happy. Cause that is the most important.

Here's to a wonderful and pretty day for us all!

Introducing James Franco

Oh James...you are much too beautiful! You should live in San Diego. In my apartment. Yesssssss...you should consider this option.

Oh, and I loved you in Spiderman and Tristan & Isolde.

WHY are you soooooooooooooooooooo hot?

Oh, the hard questions in life.

An Unwritten Life

Sometimes I feel like pulling out all my hair. Which would take a long time, since we're mammals and all.

My day at work was fine. My life is fine. But yet, I freak out...

Again, I think too much about the future. But it is SO HARD not to. I graduate (gulp) in a year in a half. And for those of you that have graduated, you're probably laughing a bit at me right now. But to me, you must understand, this is scary.

Here I am, unsure of where I'm going ahead of me, and my road is running out ahead. And all I can see, glaring at me with evil eyes, is a sign that declares "Ashley, you must now choose your own way."

Which way to go? Left? Right? I've always had a road to follow, always had a path in front of me...and now, it's disappearing. What does society expect, anyway? After 2nd grade, you go to 3rd. After 3rd grade, you go to 4th. You follow the line. You are, indeed, just another brick in the wall.

And now that wall is being demolished. And I can't be in it. I have to find a new home, a new place to settle.

This is all so unnerving.

I'm getting a headache thinking about it too much. It's just so hard when you've had your life planned for you...and now, you have to do the planning.

I hold the pen...and I can write my future. Simply frightening. Simply and utterly frightening.

Working to death, and sometimes I wonder why.

Why do Americans work their lives away?


Who decided that it was a good idea to even work this much?


Why did we listen to that person who said it was a good idea to work this much?


We work, we slave, we don't see our families as much as we should, we break our spirits, we kill ourselves...and what is it all for?
*
*
*
*
*
Why do we insist on living lives that involve so much work and not enough life? And what, for God's sake, is the fucking rush?

Yeah, evolution is real...and soon we'll just evolve into heartless robots who work to save a world that isn't worth living in.

Don't you ever wonder these things?????

Please tell me I'll get better at this. For the love of God!

Confrontation.

I hate the action. I hate the word. But I did it with one of my best friends. And it turned out alright. Things are fine. And I did it through e-mail (haha...probably the most harmless way to tell someone you have a problem). But my stomach was still in multiple knots.

Pleeeeeeeeeeease tell me this gets better. Please tell me that I'll be more graceful in the future with confrontation. Or...will I always be bad at it? Cause that will suck.

It's hard to change this detail about myself. I envy people who can confront without a problem. How do they do that?

However, in some ways, I guess I don't envy them...cause if they confront without a problem, they don't care as much about the person they are confronting. Obviously, what bugs me the most about telling someone that I have a problem with them is that I might hurt them. And in turn lose them.

But that's stupid.

WHY is life so confusing???? Why can't I be a beaver or something??? And why did I pick such a weird animal to be??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life. You laugh at me so. You think this is funny, don't you?

Being young can have its goodpoints. Being young and unexperineced in life can have its downfalls.

Feeling a little suffocated

My stupid stupid school and its stupid stupid overcrowded-ness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate how it's hard to get classes sometimes. But some of it is my fault. I am a pre-major right now and I was SUPPOSED to get into my major to register for some particular classes. BUT I didn't check that important little fact before I registered. So now I'm left without two important classes for my major.

Ok........breaaaaaathhhhhhhhhhe. It will be alright. I can take them over summerschool. I'm just a little mad at myself for messing it up.

I did enroll in 4 classes, though. Which isn't bad at all. And, they seem pretty cool. So I should stop giving myself an ulcer. I'll post what classes I get for sure later, since it's still not set in stone.

Oh yeah, and I'll talk about my trip later, as well...which was really, really fun. And I have to be in a better mood to post about it, because it deserves a good, funny post.

Alright. I'm off to go to the beach or something now. I need some relaxation. I need to breathe a little. Talk to you all later :)

The typical American family?

Keep in mind that I have about 20 people working at my work while I explain this scenario.

About 4 of those 20 people not only have their parents divorced, but they don't see one of their parents...ever.

Another 9 have divorced parents. I expected this.

That leaves 7 (and probably less than that) who have both their mom and dad together still.

I'm not exactly surprised about the number divorced. But the ones who never speak to one parent??? That's insane. I couldn't imagine what that's like. There is even one co-worker who has never met his dad. That blows my mind, really.

I know this happens every day, but this is probably the first time I've confronted this many people who don't talk to one parent (and in all these situations, it happens to be the dad).

If I didn't have my dad in my life, I wouldn't have as much confidence. I can't tell you how important it is to have someone in my life who actually thinks I can make it big. A huge part of what I've done in school hasn't just been for me--it's been for me and my dad both. Part of my motivation is to make him proud. If you take him out of the equation, I wouldn't be where I am today.

That's not saying that everyone has a dad like mine. Take my (half) sister for instance--her dad was abusive and drank alot. My mom made sure to leave him as soon as she gathered up enough strength. So my sister virtually grew up without a dad. I couldn't imagine.

My point of talking about this is that there is no "typical american family." But that stereotype is shoved down our throats constantly. And if we don't have that ideal family, we may feel inadequate. And that is not fair.

It just so happens that I work well with two parents. But I know plenty of people who have turned out wonderful with just one parent raising them.


************************************************************************************


With that said, I'm leaving in about 2 hours to go visit my friend Jaclyn (in Orange County). Yay! I love to drive. Hopefully there's not too much traffic. My car is definitely happy, my dad and I changed it's oil yesterday. So yeah, I may not be around for a few days. Or maybe I will, if I can find a computer lab, heh heh heh. Talk to you all later!!!

Something to Ponder

Why am I so tired? And why am I still up?

Why am I so lazy? And why am I so motivated?

Why is it that I'm shy? Why is it that I'm outgoing?

Why is it that I like things simple when in fact I am completely complicated?

Why do I sometimes like being girly? Why do I want to tear off my bra in rage on off days?

WHY am I asking all these questions?

and WHEN was I ever so contradictory?

It is very, very, very confusing. yet, it makes sense.

Because I am human.

Being human is a PAIN IN THE ASS. F.Y.I.--the link was too funny not to put in.

Finding a Habitat

After I graduate from San Diego State, I'd love to find a new place to live that isn't San Diego. San Diego is gorgeous--so don't get me wrong--but I've lived here essentially forever. But I wonder...where would I live?

Some places I've thought of before:

1. New York City--it's simply the most alluring city. Probably because it has everything. But I'm not stupid...before I'd ever move to New York, I'd make sure to have a job lined up and a good savings. I know that place is crazy expensive. And it's gritty. But I love that sometimes. Sometimes dirty can be pretty. Odd, but true.
2. San Francisco--when I visited it this past summer, I thought it was just lovely. I like cold weather and I like views of the bay. The people were incredibly nice, and overall, I'll always be a California girl. Some downfalls: the hills are super scary...but something to get used to, I guess. That place is a magnet for earthquakes, which would be especially scary.
3. Chicago--I've never been there, but I've always heard good things about it. I tend to like Northern cities, randomly, and it has a big market for work--which is great. Plus, if I'd EVER want to work for a newspaper there, the Chicago-Sun Times has always been a good paper.
4. London--I don't think this will ever happen. It's soooooo expensive. But it's sooooooo beautiful. And I love it. It's probably one of the prettiest big cities I've ever seen. But switching countries requires A LOT of paperwork. Hopefully I'll just make enough someday to live in the U.S., but still visit this marvelous city.

So...those are the four I've thought about the most. There are other cities I want to visit though--Boston, Providence, Washington D.C. and a whole slew of East Coast Cities.

I would NEVER live in L.A. or Texas (sorry). And I would cut my wrists everyday if I had to live in Nebraska. I guess the midwest is not for me. And L.A. just sucks, but I've said this before.

Overall, I know that...I just don't know. Who knows where I'll end up? I just want to experience life, and I tend to love big cities. But I'm sure that it won't matter much where I live as long as I'm with someone I love. And I shouldn't say that I don't like small towns. I've never lived in one...maybe someday.

The future is mysterious, I could live a number of places. And that is an exciting thought.

Bonified Slacker

Like a major, major, major slacker (you hear that Thomas?), I woke up at 11:40 am. That's pretty laughable. At first, I couldn't see the clock (cause I wear contacts) and thought to myself "oh, it's probably 10:00 or something." Yeah, or something.

What's good is, I'm starting to get a little bored with this slacker routine. Which is a good sign, cause that means I'm getting ready to go back to school. At first I revelled in my laziness, loving the fact that I had nothing to do but lay around.

But there is a point where that gets very uninteresting, because humans are made for more than just doing nothing.

In the end, I like to feel accomplished in something.

I'm not completely over break yet--I still love this laziness thing. But school is once again looking more appealing. And that's great considering last semester.



Editor's Note: In case you might be wondering--I changed the layout around just a tiny tiny bit. If you thought you were going absolutely insane, you're only going partially insane...alright? That goes for you most of all, hatleyman.

Mmmm...Burritos. And Gay Cowboys. An interesting day.

Hung out with my friend Lauren today. I never get to hang out with her...she lives in Santa Barbara, after all.

We watched Brokeback Mountain. And the film was beautiful, really. And sad. There was some great scenery. And the love story was touching, gay or not gay, it was still a great love story. And I love me some Heath Ledger. Oh YES I do. He looked stunning in the movie, as always. You bet your ass I'll go and see Casanova to look at him. But it's not just that--he's a great actor as well. Oh, Heath! Why must you be taken you beautiful Australian?!

Oh well.

After the movie I went with Lauren to grab some burritos from a place along the beach--we talked about life...haha, girl talk and such. Told her about my boring date.

Why is it that when everyone asks you if you have a boyfriend and you say "no," that they all of a sudden take pity on you? It's not a bad thing, you know? Lauren didn't neccesarily do this, but it came out a little bit.

I feel too busy (well not during the break, but during school) for a boyfriend. Now--if someone comes along that I want to make time for, I will. But I am not going out of my way right now to give anyone a chance. And I'm not unhappy.

What is this stigma with girls that are single? It only gets worse when you get older, I imagine.

Oh well, if it gets to that point, I'll just have to have my affair with Heath Ledger.

So you wanna drink my blood, huh?

Tonight was interesting.

There's this guy that used to work at my job, right? His name is Aaron...and he's always been a bit of a freak. Not like a stalker-freak. He's more of a charming freak. Like a I-have-to-wear-black-all-the-time-and-act-tough-but-really-I'm-a-teddy-bear-sort-of-freak. You know what I mean.

He likes to visit every now and then and show off the new, freakish things he's done. Like, oh, getting Vampire fangs put in this mouth. Yeah. At first he lied and said they were permanent, but we came to find out they were actually removable.

So, today he comes to visit and I'm talking to him outside, with two other people, when he suddenly grabs my wrist and bites it--with those fangs. And it wasn't a sissy bite, no no. He bit hard! The inside of my wrist now has two red bumps on it. Gee, thanks, Aaron. AND THEN...he has the nerve to say, "Next time I won't stop till I see blood! And it will be your neck!! One day..."

Yeah, he wishes. Plus, I don't want anyone playing around with my main arteries...they are KIND OF important.

I won't lie--the fangs are strangely attractive. I'm not saying that I would ever date anyone that had them!!!! Do NOT get me wrong. I'm just saying, in a twisted way, they are sexy. hahaha...

It Don't Matter If You're Black or White!

Sooooooooo, I changed my little picture in the corner again. I know, I know...I had the other one was up for like 2 days. But it bored me so. And it was much too colorful...I adore black and white photos. So, behold! Black and White Ashley in all her glory!

Something that was absolutely wonderful today: the rain. FINALLY there was some rain in "Sunny" San Diego. I love rain...it makes me contemplate and energizes me...somehow. We don't get enough of it here, so naturally, I get excited when it comes around.

Something that was absolutely horrible today: The Dukes of Hazzard. My dad decided to rent it, and I decided to watch it with him. What a BAD BAD BAD choice. It was one of those movies that made me want to get up and leave....but you don't, cause you think to yourself "Hey. Maybe it will get better. I mean, it can't get any worse." And then, it DOES get worse...but you're not too surprised. What did I expect? Jessica Simpson can't act (and PLEASE stop her from doing remakes of classic songs!). Johnny Knoxville can't really act. And Sean William Scott! You can do better dear!!

So, I didn't really have an eventful day. But haven't I said this a million times before? I AM A BUM. And so proud, so proud. Brings a tear to my eye. Hope your days were full of sunshine, or rain, if you're me.

Drowning in Our Words

I get a little mad when people say that the state of the world is just SO BAD these days. Of course it is! But what makes people think that is was so good in the past?

I'm not so convinced that we had less crime in th 50's...I'm not so convinced that the world was all flowerly and happy during the Renaissance.

The world has ALWAYS had: death, wars, suffering, greed, heartache, crime, jealousy and all of the above. ALWAYS. So where do people get off saying that the past was always so much better?

People seriously need to stop worshiping the past and instead think of ways to better the future. You can whine about how bad a flood is, but if you don't start swimming for a better place, you'll simply drown.

On that note, here's for an amazing 2006. You all said Happy New Year to me, so I'm saying it back!! Hope none of you were too hungover today. (and doesn't 2006 sound futuristic? To me it does. Why don't we have flying cars by now?)