Playing around with blog colors again, because I get bored too easily. ha. I think I've done a black background at least two or three times before. It's classic, and I'll keep it for awhile. At least for a couple months.
I suppose I felt like a change (even on my lil' blog) after having a slight change in my life. I moved out of the house with the roomies and moved in with the parents. Not because my house wasn't cool, but because I wanna save money for Turkey.
That's right, this dream is becoming more real.
Don't have too much else to post, so have a nice New Year's Eve kiddos, and be safe! :)
It's a very serene time, the night of Christmas. All this quiet time leaves me a lot of thinking: about my life, about the New Year, about things I want to change and attitudes I want to adopt. Is this your cliche New Year's Resolution List I am about to make? I suppose so...but this is a necessary list for me.
Note: I am not usually a list person, unless I absolutely have to get a lot done; therefore, crossing off what I have accomplished. This is just like that--a to-do list on a bigger, more important scale, in order to cross off what I have accomplished toward becoming a better person.
For 2010:
Seriously attempt to make the move to Turkey for a year.
Let my heart be actually open to love, and let God heal wounds from a couple years ago...ouch! Has it been that long? Yeahhhh.
Volunteer a HECK of a lot more. I'm leaning toward feeding the homeless.
Take down overbearing brick walls I have put around myself that have prevented me from seeing my true potential...walls that have enclosed me within my own thoughts: that I am not good enough. (I know this is a process).
To live more like a child. With no big apprehensions; rather, embracing every new exciting aspect of life, and knowing that the worst of scrapes or falls can always be fixed with a bandaid :)
Pinpointing what job I truly want to pursue. Teaching? Maybe. There are other options in front of me, and some decisions will be made.
Stressing Less!!! By: praying/meditating/reading my bible in the morning and remembering to enjoy the scenery every now and then.
Go to the gym more. haha. No Resolution list is complete without this one.
Push FEAR out of the way. I let fear control far too much of my life.
Smile more. Find time to smile on even the worst of days.
Yes, I do believe those are the big ones. 10 Resolutions for 2010. I'm being especially dorky, aren't I?
"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."
Went to see Lady GaGa last night. WOW. Just WOW. A totally glamourous, sexy, sticky, insane, glittery mess of a show. I swear, there were more fruity men there than in a freakin' gay bar!! The outfits were epic: wings and sticks and, oh yeah, S&M outfits to boot.
It was an experience.
And she sounded great. Don't compare this chick to Britney, she made sure to show her singing chops.
And as you can tell by the photos, we were super close :)
I didn't alter this picture, it was just the kind of light they had in the bar.
Just wanted to post a cheeky photo, that's all :)
Annnnnnnnddd...
...mention that I saw Donnie Darko for the first time. Can I just say, INSANE movie? But kinda brilliant. And kinda head-scratchin', in a frustrating way at first. But then it really makes you think. And so yeah, it was pretty brilliant.
Guess this is a random post. I'm just gearing up for the holidays and some time off (2 weeks). I feel relaxed, I feel happy and I feel at peace. That ain't bad, if I do say so myself.
And I even went to the gym today! I, like, totally get a gold star.
Went to get a gym membership today (was inspired by the effects of holiday eating), and had this cute half-white, half-Persian boy sign me up for it.
We somehow got on the subject of traveling and dark beers--it was a random, nice conversation I didn't expect to have while applying for a membership.
And as cute Persian guy was shaking my hand and handing me a business card as I left, he said, "And my number is on there in case you want to get a Gordon Biersch beer together sometime."
Ha! Hot Persian boy hit on me! And although I won't call him (that's his job, dude), it's nice to know that I still got it.
I've finally finished Eat Pray Love, and let me just say, it is a complete breath of fresh air.
It is a witty, honest book without being pretentious; rather, Elizabeth Gilbert is super humble and self-depricating. This makes her 100% relatable. As I read this book, I felt as if I was reading about myself in so many paragraphs, so many pages.
I don't know if I can do this book justice by blabbing on and on about it here. Just know that it is a remarkable journey out of depression; therefore, a great book to give someone that is struggling with that very issue.
After reading about 5 pages of the book, it quickly became a favorite, and the rest of the story held up to that early prediction.
Get it, read it, discuss it with me! And yes, this book is incredibly guy-friendly.
"And love is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.
I said, 'My heart was broken so badly last time that it still hurts. Isn't that crazy? To still have a broken heart going for two years after a love story ends?
Darling, I'm southern Brazilian. I can keep a broken heart going for ten years over a woman I never even kissed."
So...I'm not really a big play person. I'm more of a movie person. I'm usually too aware of my surroundings when I'm watching a play, or I get super bored, since they can be pretty damn long.
However, I think I've found a play that I really liked. It's called Spring Awakening. (Jax--I'm sure you'll know alllllllll about this).
Get this--I was sitting on the stage! ON THE STAGE! (this was amusing during the nude scene).
What can I really say about this play? It's daring, provocative, insanely interesting and hilarious, all rolled into one hand-clappin' musical.What's even more interesting is that the play deals with subjects so taboo, they are still prevalent today, even though the original script was written in the late 1890s. Subjects like sexual freedom, homosexuality, sexual abuse, enlightenment and anti-establishmentarianism are laced throughout.
I really loved it. So go see it, fools. Go see it.
I'm not sure why I am in such an exceptionally good mood today.
Maybe it's because I got a great night of sleep after some 'fun with rum' with a roommate.
Maybe it's because it's Thanksgiving.
It just hit me how privileged I am to have this life. How very privileged I am to not be on the streets, searching for scraps out of a trash can. How lucky I am to have family to visit today. I haven't lost my parents in a car accident, I'm not all alone these holidays.
And how great is it that I have choices in life? The choice to go live in another country if I so please? I have the freedom.
So why do I waste so much time complaining when things are so great?
Must remember that when I am being a grumpy bugger.
So thanks, Big Guy, for this life. Hope I use it well, and don't waste it.
I saw three movies over the weekend (yes, three!). Of course, I have to comment on them...I mean, that's what blogs are for.
DISCLAIMER: Please do not roll your eyes at the movie choices I am about to present you.
2012--hahahaha. You know it's gonna be a bad review when I start off with laughter. Now, I knew from previews that this movie was going to be ri-dic-u-lous. However, a roommate convinced me to go. I guess I'm easy to convince. This movie was a staggering 2-and-a-half hours of "let's see how much crap we can blow up, crumble, destroy and demolish in one movie." Basically, a disaster movie trying to beat all other disaster movies, but falling on its face. The only good thing about the movie? John Cusack was in it. That was the only saving grace, and the only way I could give the movie: ★
The Twilight Series: New Moon--Well, come on. You knew I would see this. I read the books, after all. I don't know if there's much to say here. It was exactly as I expected, which made my inner 14-year-old girl happy. I WOULD NOT recommend this movie to ANYONE who has not read the books. It would be a terrible movie, otherwise. That inner teeny-bopper gives this movie:★★★
Up--This is the clear winner out of all the movies. Good job Disney. This is definitely a "kid's movie" that is actually more geared for adults. My heart was warmed to a mushy mess while watching it. No, I didn't cry, but plenty of people would. Go. See. It. You won't regret it. My rating:★★★½
Did I mention that I am watching Mamma Mia as I type this? Don't judge me!
I haven't talked about J for a long time on here. Well, he hasn't really been a big presence in my life anymore, while still being an influence on the romantic part of my life, contributing in my distrust in males.
While I think I've gotten over most of that, it's still hard to run into that person, which ends up inevitable when you have the same group of friends.
I went to a wedding last Saturday, of course he was there.
Near the end of the wedding, he decided to bring up a deep/awkward conversation. Whhhhy?
He asked, "Are you ever going to forgive me?"
Loaded question.
We proceeded to have a conversation about how, yes, I would forgive him, but no, we couldn't really be friends in the future. It wasn't a bad conversation, and part of me is glad it's out of the way. These experiences are like little soap operas God likes to watch, I swear.
***
Have you heard the song "Landed," by Ben Folds? I feel the lyrics of this song accurately portray the way I feel about that situation and how I see J now. God will open our eyes to the truth, if we ask, to get out of the clouds. Take a listen, take a look at the lyrics.
The Lyrics:
We'd hit the bottom, I thought it was my fault And in a way I guess it was I'm just now finding out What it was all about
Moved to the west coast away from everyone She never told me that you called Back when I was still, I was still in love
Till I opened my eyes and walked out the door And the clouds came tumbling down And it's bye-bye, goodbye, I tried And I twisted it wrong just to make it right Had to leave myself behind I've been flying high all night So come pick me up...I've landed
The daily dramas she made from nothing So nothing ever made them right She liked to push me and talk me back down Until I believed I was the crazy one, and in a way I guess I was...
But I opened my eyes and walked out the door And the clouds came tumbling down And it's bye-bye, goodbye I tried Treading a sea of a troubled mind Had to leave myself behind Singing bye-bye, goodbye I tried
If you wrote me off I'd understand it Because I've been on some other planet So come pick me up... I've landed
And you will be so happy to know I've come alone, it's over
But I opened my eyes and walked out the door And the clouds came tumbling down And it's by my goodbye I tried Down comes the reign of the telephone czar It's OK to call Now I'll answer for myself
I talked to my buddy Jaclyn about her wedding in the upcoming year or so, and she revealed to me that she wanted me to be her maid of honor.
I haven't been in a wedding before, so what a way to start off!
I seriously almost shed a few tears when she asked me...I feel priveleged to stand next to one of my best friends as she goes through one of the major traditions of life.
Eatin' blackberries at the moment...Mmmmmm...and realizing that I forgot to tell you about an AMAZING CONCERT I went to last week. :)
Whom, might you ask??
Boyz II Men!!!!
haha. Last minute, a friend told me she had a few tickets to go, and asked if I would attend. I think my answer was along the lines of, "Duh."
Ohhhh man. It was a great concert. Here's why:
I forgot how damn good Boyz II Men (and older acts in general) sounded. They sounded like perfection. Talk about orgasmic harmonies! Listening to some acts that are popular today, those fools ain't got nothin' on old R&B and Motown.
Which leads me to my next point as to why the concert was ballin'--they did a few covers of Motown songs. As you can imagine, I was belting out every word and dancing like a maniac during this section. *sigh* I love Motown.
This concert was just an overall feel goooooood concert. People stayed way past the end of the show to slow dance to "One Sweet Day." The audience was just happy!
It brought be back the 90s. And I liked the 90s a whole lot. :)
So yeah, that was my adventure last week. And I still have "End of the Road" in my head...
"Most of us, even if only for two minutes in our lives, have experienced at some time or another an inexplicable and random sense of complete bliss, unrelated to anything that was happening in the outside world...
Over the centuries, people have tried to hold on to that state of blissful perfection through all sorts of external means--through drugs and sex and power and adrenaline and the accumulation of pretty things--but it doesn't keep...
Your treasure--your perfection--is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart."
--Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Oh yes. Ohhhhhhh yes, indeed. This passage helps to explain my search for the divine. That "bliss" that Liz is explaining here, is God. A happiness that goes beyond this world. Because simply, happiness cannot be found in sex, drugs and rock n' roll. (No comment from you, Frank).
More on this book later.
In regards to Turkey, I have decided to stay on the course to go there. After advice from some wise friends (including you's wise guys!!), there is so much potential and learning and life to be gained from going on such an adventure. The one and only drawback is leaving everything familiar. But God is telling me to get a bit uncomfortable...staying in comfort never forces us to grow.
This girl does not want to stay in an awkward, 20-something, transitional phase, forever. It's time to sail the seven seas, explore what is ahead of me. Even if I don't like the experience, that will not diminish the amount of growth I will be able to do.
So, unless there is a clear reason not to go, I'm on my way. Looking to train in January (for about six weeks) and then apply to jobs for the fall.
Man, you guys offered some amazing advice in the last post, and I sincerely internalized it. I know what I really need to do now--pray about it. Pray about it with such veracious hunger that I am pretty damn sure of the right answer.
But let me leave serious subjects for another post...
I have some pictures to show from Halloween!!! And, no, I do not dress slutty on Halloween because...just ew.
So here are some pics:
On friday night, I was a zombie last minute. heh heh.
I had immense fun drawing blood on myself. On the left is Colleen, the Mad Hatter. And Lainey, a kitty cat.
Even Churro had an outfit, which got me hungry ;)
Onto Saturday night, our Halloween party!! Here I am with with Beth. She's a police officer, I'm the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.
It was hard to capture the decorations for ya, I seriously had a maze of streamers. But you can at least see the spiffy swirl I made (inspired by when Alice falls down the rabbit hole).
The whole Alice-in-Wonderland crew: Queen of Hearts, White Rabbit, Cheshire Cat, a card, Alice and the Mad Hatter.
I had a jolly ole time decorating. Poor Lainey (the Cheshire Cat) had the flu or some bug during the party. Poor girl had to sit on the couch the whole time.
But overall, Halloween was a huge success!
We ended the night trying to watch the 70s original of The Last House on the Left, but then couldn't take the ridiculousness of it anymore, so we put in Signs instead (Blockbuster was out of The Shining).
So as I am delving into this whole 'Teaching in Turkey' idea, it's becoming more slap-me-in-the-face real. Which is exciting, yes. But I hate to say this...it also scares the hell outta me.
I didn't know I was such a scaredy-cat.
This might sound soooooo ridiculous to you all, but I've never lived away from my parents. Yeah, I've lived in different houses than my parents, but I haven't lived more than 20-freakin'-minutes away from mommy and daddy.
The one bad scenario that I've been playing is my head is, I go to Turkey, I have a jolly time, then I find out that one of my parents has passed away. Of course, I feel guilt.
I know this sounds extremely negative and morbid, but I think about death more often after my dad had cancer 3 years ago. It is more of a prevalent entity in my life. And it's not just my dad, my mom had me when she was 44. That puts her in her late 60s now. My whole life, I've always thought about the possibility of losing my mom earlier than others.
Now the other side of this coin...I know, and YOU know and my PARENTS know that this shouldn't stop my dreams. What am I gonna do, never leave home, so to speak? Out of fear? No, no, no...I won't be going down like that.
Isn't it funny that I'm not scared of living in a foreign place? (Cause that's the fun part!). I'm just scared of leaving my family.
So I'm in the place where, yes, I'd like to still move forward with this. But I have a little anxiety about the whole thing. I think that's normal. Really, I just wanted to release some of that anxiety here, by talking about it.
So, penny for your thoughts? (I pretty much know what you'll say, so say it).
Found out last night that my good friend Jaclyn is engaged. She is the first out of my goooood friends to get married. Totally strange. But fitting for her. Jaclyn is sensible, smart and doesn't just jump into things. I do approve of this young marriage (because my approval is needed--ha).
Still it's really weird to see friends around me marryin' up a storm (I'm going to a wedding in November, as well). Maybe it's weird to me because I'm just not on that track. My mind is in no place to get married, and to who, anyway? My boyfriend is traveling...the open road. My love is the idea of endless possibilities.
I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet someone that totally knocks me off my feet. Until then, I don't really feel the pressure. I don't understand women that start saying things like, "But I'm ready to get married!" without having a guy in their lives. Why are you obsessing over something that is not even of prevalence in your life?
Anyway, not to turn marriage into a negative; because, if done correctly, it's quite beautiful.
On that note, I'm very happy for my friend Jackizzle...CONGRATS!!!!!
^ ^ ^ Tis the name of the Lady Gaga tour I will buying tickets for in about 20 minutes.
Oh, THAT'S RIGHT...I said Lady Gaga.
Currently in the process of buying a purple bob wig to wear to the concert. Uh-huh. I'm totally going for the drag-queen effect. Except, I am, er, a girl. But you get what I mean.
hahaha. Ok, I'm off to shop today for cool Halloween decorations!!!!
OH man...it's been over a week since I've posted. Now, that doesn't happen often. I've been kind of absent from the internet in general. Sometimes, that is so needed. Too much brain stimulation all week. I kinda want to give my brain a bit of a rest.
I've also been busy planning a Halloween party with my roommates. It will be Alice in Wonderland-themed, and I will be the white rabbit (since I am prompt in real life!). I was gonna use this costume last year, but I never did. So this whole party, and this whole theme, is revolving around the fact that I need to use my dormant costume. I've successfully convinced all my roomies to go with this theme. Yaaaay!
If you have any suggestions for creative food/decorations/drinks, TELL MEEEEEE!
Also, I'm deciding to show a couple scary movies. So far, I've decided to show The Shining. Any others that I should show?
Why is my room already a mess when I cleaned it last week? I feel like Ricky Ricardo is going to walk in at any second, take a look around the surroundings and say, "Ashley, you got some splanin' to dooooo!"
Well, looks like I am going to spend my Sunday cleaning. Until I go to the Jason Mraz concert tonight, that is. And get this, the concert is free. Who does that anymore?
Jason Mraz--I will have your babies.
Anyway, I am having a tremendous amount of fun reading Eat Pray Love, mostly because Elizabeth Gilbert is an outstanding writer; no, that's an understatement. I don't know if there is a word to describe her humble, hilarious, honest writing. All I know is that I absolutely love it. I hope I can write like that someday...because yes, I do think excellent writing takes some diligent training and experience.
Here is an excerpt that I especially relate to, and you'll know why once you read it:
"...traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves."
Ahhh...this quote has "Ashley" written all over it!!
And a side note, relating to traveling. I noticed on all the posts from my trip, there were a lot of "I'm jealous" comments. While I often say this to other people going on vacations, I just want you to know how do-able traveling is. My trip cost me a grand total of $1700...that includes the plane ticket, as well. There are ways around huge traveling fees. And while $1700 is a good chunk of change, it's still easily savable, and as Gilbert pointed out, worth every penny.
I will have more to say about Eat Pray Love this month, but until then, have a great Sunday. Hopefully you don't have to clean the whole day.
I have to leave for work in, like, a minute; therefore, I should not be on blogger.
I'm messing with my blog colors again (not really liking the blue. I'll change it soon enough).
Really, I want to mess with my hair color instead of these dang blog colors. I kinda wanted to go brunette again. Eh--part me thinks I should leave my freakin' hair alone. But I get so bored with one color when there is so many choices!!
This is all small beans to be thinking about so much.
Anyway, I really have to go. I must go...but before I do...I must mention that I am reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I got it on Sunday, and since then have read 86 pages. I have tons to say about this book. And lots to say about how it's put me in a writing mood. But that will have to be another day, now won't it?
It's two in the morning and I just got back from picking up a friend from the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
And man do I feel like a jerk.
Because she's been having a rough time lately and I didn't even know. And you know why that is? Because I've been so wrapped up in myself lately that I haven't even asked her how she's been.
Dude. Here I've been, complaining about my life, saying that I've been bored and uninspired...blah, blah, blah. WELL NO WONDER!!!! There are people to help and friends to check up on that NEED HELP and all I have been doing is looking out for me me me these past few months.
No wonder I've been feeling down. Because throughout my life, I've always felt the most alive when I am helping someone else. Why have I been just looking out for me all this time?
And GOD, I could have lost a friend tonight, and I would have been crushed...when was the last time I've asked her how she's doing, anyways? THANK THE LORD someone called the ambulance for her.
This is a kick in the butt, to remember the reason for my life. Not for me--but for God and others. My purpose is not to make me happy. Because trying to live for just me doesn't make me happy.
I know that I can't fix broken people; rather, that is the job of a supreme being. I can, however, help a broken person stand up, and give them a shoulder to hold onto. I'll be praying tonight.
Maybe I could put "Excellent player of Taboo" on my resume for these English Schools in Turkey?
It counts, doesn't it? Well, I am an excellent Taboo player. You would totally want me on your team, because you would win with me.
On a serious note, I'm getting more feedback from Turkey. This whole dream is becoming less like a dream and more like a tangible reality. Yippppppeeeeeee!
I've been having a few bad days, up until today. Today was refreshing. Probably because I approached the day with a different state of mind--knowing I needed to be more patient and relaxed, I kinda forced myself into that mood. It worked.
"No one can diminish you except for yourself."
A line from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Not sure why I like this movie so much (I saw it for the first time over the weekend). Not a movie I would necessarily recommend for others, but definitely a movie that puts me in a good mood. A chick flick at its finest. teehee.
I can't expect to always have great days--a tough thing to hear for the eternal optomist. But no matter how bad the day, a good day is right around the corner. Always. There are always better days.
Get your mind outta the gutter! I'm talking about movies, people.
I haven't done a movie review in awhile, so here we go. Movies on the menu (did I just say menu? I must be hungry): Inglorious Basterds and District 9.
Inglorious Basterds: Now...I don't usually like Quentin Tarantino. His movies tend to go wayyyy over the top, and edge on side of ridiculous. Not so for Inglorious Basterds. I was surprised to find out that I absolutely loved it. The colors, the concept, the fact that it was not historically accurate at all, and Brad Pitt's hilarious quips made me adore this movie. Go into this movie with an open mind and let the story sink into your bones. It had me enthralled and it had me highly entertained. My Rating: ★★★ ½ (out of 4 stars)
District 9: In two words--highly original. This movie was refreshing. In a sea of remakes and unoriginal plots and--oh yeah--more remakes, this movie was a complete gem. I couldn't even guess what was gonna happen in the plot. And seriously, where can I get a cool alien gun that obliterates enemies on contact? But the plot was not all action. Nope, the storyline is what made this movie a standout. The movie felt like 30 minutes, as opposed to a cool 2 hours. Peter Jackson, you've done it again. My Rating: ★★★ ½
Yeah, they got the same rating because I loved them equally. Now, if you have not seen them, go forth and watch!!
I went dancing for a little last night (after eating an ice cream sundae at Ghiradelli's)...now that's a good night!
I noticed that it is now popular to play Michael Jackson in the clubs.
How funny, when I used to have to beg DJs to play MJ just a few short months ago. You hear that kiddies?!? I didn't need his death to capture my attention and go, "Wow, that Michael has some great dance songs..."
I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, fools.
The life of a trend setter is hard *brushes dirt off of shoulder*
Have you heard the Glee version of "Don't Stop Believin'?" Simply brilliant. On top of this, have you seen the show Glee? I recently watched it online. Can you say, new obsession?!?
Anyway, back to the song...
When I heard this song the other day, it was a bit inspiring to me. Which is funny, because, I've heard this song a million times before, but it never affected me much. When I think of it, I think of drunk girls holding out a strong fist in the air, belligerently belting out the chorus, then tripping up over the rest of the song.
But for the first time, I really listened to the lyrics, and they really struck me. Probably because I've been in a bit of a rut.
God sends the right messages to you at the right times, including cheesy lines like DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' (be careful to note, you are uncool if you spell it "believing").
Despite the silly lyrics, it's a great message to the downhearted. When you feel stuck, there's always a way out.
I realize how privileged I am, and how my "being stuck" is nothing compared to what many in the world go through. But that doesn't mean that I'm incapable of feeling sad, or feeling like life has lost its fervor.
That passion that is missing in life can always be won back. So, on that note, I e-mailed numerous English schools in Turkey inquiring about teaching positions. I am beyond-the-moon over this idea. It stirs something inside me...an extra excitement that has been hiding for a few months.
Nothing is promised, and I am just in preliminary research over this whole plan. But I really want to do it. I think I can find a way.
Working hard to get my fill, Everybody wants a thrill Payin' anything to roll the dice, Just one more time Some will win, some will lose Some were born to sing the blues Oh, the movie never ends It goes on and on and on and on
The sky keeps taunting me with the promise of rain, before a gray cloud saunters away and the sun is revealed, yet again. Another sunny day in San Diego.
Blah.
It's definitely time for a change in my life. Time to make that change happen soon.
A trip to the Coronado with my roommate proved to be the perfect place to ease my soul. Not to mention church today, which completely energized me from the inside out.
I don't think I've been completely honest on this blog lately, but I've been feeling lackluster recently. Stuck in the middle, in limbo, if you will. Obviously, this has caused me to think of numerous avenues in life (including the Turkey avenue I discussed in the last post).
Spiritually, it's been the same.
There is a misconception amongst Christians that once you've learned about the complete grace and love of God that all your troubles melt away, and that you are not supposed to be sad.
Not so! We're human. Being human means going through major ups and down.
And this part of my life has not been a major down, but it's been...in the middle. A fantastically boring place to be.
That's why--YES--I'm leaning toward the direction of going to Turkey. And remembering to have fun while I'm still in San Diego, as well (thanks Ashley). I'll let you know along the way if this plan actually becomes finalized. I know this is something I can do!!
Going back to spirituality, today was one of the first days in months that I felt really in tune with God. Like little sparks of energy were bouncing around in my body. It's an overwhelming, glorious, peaceful, hectic, cathartic, insane and sane feeling wrapped into one. ha. Does that even make sense?
You see, it's possible to fall away from God. Easy, in fact. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the institution of things. And then easily get disgusted by the institution of things. Christianity was not made to be an institution, but a relationship with the one and only Maker.
Today, I felt like I got in touch with that Maker after a few months of not calling and not checking up.
And it feels goooooooood. Thanks, Jame Brown.
Anyway, not to babble on. All I wanted to let you know is, I'm feeling more alive. Today was a good, good day. And it truly excites me to talk about this Turkey idea.
There's been A LOT of new thoughts running around in my head lately...time to put it here on this blog, and maybe get some insight.
I've been thinking about moving to Turkey for a year, and possibly teaching English to children (or adults) there (in Istanbul).
I feel...bored and uninspired by America lately. Should I say lately? Maybe this has been for a long time. I know that changing countries is not necessarily "the answer" to that, but I can't deny that I've always had the urge to move overseas, and I've never been able to shake that urge.
I also know that going on a vacation in Turkey is not the same as living and working in Turkey. It's a very real possibility that I could move to Turkey having an immense love for it and leave with a bad taste.
However, I think I will regret it if I never try living somewhere else. I've been in San Diego far too long (basically MY WHOLE LIFE). It works for some people to stay in one place all their lives, but I'm not so sure that works for me.
Things I will obviously miss if I move: my FAMILY, my friends, certain aspects of the American culture that I love.
And there's a lot to prepare for: Learning the Turkish language as much as possible, saving up a butt-load of money, preparing to say good-bye to loved ones.
But there's a lot to look forward to: an ADVENTURE! Experiencing a breath of fresh air through another culture, seeing my Turkish family more often (and possibly living with them), living in a country that is a part of me and my background (HOW COOL IS THAT?!), having a story to tell the kids when I get older. hehe.
Sorry that this post is so disorganized...these are the million thoughts that are bouncing in my head over this idea. I may be over thinking all of this, and maybe I should just go without all the analyzing. But I know that there is a part of me that just might stay overseas once I go, and never come back.
And that scares me just a little. Because such a big change can be a bit scary. Maybe more than a bit.
All I know is, my recent European trip was supposed to cure the wanderlust in me for about a year (it usually does the trick). But a couple days after I got back, I wanted to travel again...I wanted to be somewhere else.
Seriously, I have a problem *nervous laughter*
Also, I recently told my parents about this little possible plan of mine, and they took it better than I thought they would, replying with, "Well, we don't want you to move that far away from us...but that's not a bad idea."
I think they know I've always had that dream to live in a different country. It's my mom's fault! She moved from Turkey to America...she started it!!
Well, if you've read this far through my jumbled thoughts, BRAVO! Tell me what you think, and tell me any advice you might have.
P.S. If I did move to Turkey, it would be next year...Fall 2010 or around that time.
Ireland, that is. It's simply magical. It makes you believe that there are fairies and leprechauns frolicking about. I don't know what it is about Ireland, but I do know it ended up being the hidden gem on my trip. I didn't know how much I was gonna love it until I discovered it, sparkling in all its glory.
Cue the photos!!
Can you tell how freakin' windy it was outside?
Colleen and me reenacting the scene from Titanic. haha, oh God.
Ireland in all its glory :)
Yes, the colors really are that vivid!
The little knick-knacks that covered the walls in O'Conner's Pub.
Irish Bartender that worked at the pub, but was actually born in San Diego. "It's a small world after all..."
I thought about God a lot here. How can one not? He was all around this place. Not necessarily in churches...just in the landscape. It was total peace.
Kilmore Abbey.
Isn't it beautiful here?
Inside a Cathedral in Galway. The Irish really embrace this whole 'green is everywhere' idea.
Swans!
Picture of Galway Bay. Rather stormy out, but still a charming photo.
Happiness is...taking a rest in an Irish field.
Cliffs of Moher...they were ballin'!!
The Cliffs, again...
...and again. Because I LOVED being there :)
So a wrap-up of Ireland: It's super peaceful and SUPER laid-back. The people are hilarious. And genuinely friendly. A couple quotes from some Irish people:
Dirty Raunchy Irish Bus Driver: "Even though there's snow on the roof (pointing to hair), there's still a fire in the grill." and "Are you girls going to have some fun tonight? You know, a couple of one night stands? You know, you sow your wild oats at night, then pray for a crop failure in the morning."
hahaha. I didn't even know what to say in this situation. All I could do was laugh.
Also, an exchange between Colleen and a Tourist Office worker:
Colleen: Do you guys have a mailbox to send post cards in here?
Irish Worker (could have just said no): Oh yes...you know, you just go outside and hand your letter to the pigeons and they'll carry it across the ocean for you.
London! The city I've been to at least two times before, but has never gotten old.
This is the city where I got to finally meet a bloggy friend, Jackie. It was great/kinda surreal to meet a blog friend, especially Jax, who is hilarious, upbeat and always down for a good time. She was the best host by far (she bought me CHOCOLATE...that scores major points) and an excellent tour guide. And she has an adorable English accent to boot. Dannnng girl. You got it going on!
Well, enough with the chatter, here are some pictures of our adventure in London:
I like to hold midget-sized matching couples in my hand.
Does this need a caption? Yep, this is the real Abbey Road. I'm Paul.
Sitting on the "tube," doing a girly pose.
London=Gotham City.
Well Hello Big Ben! (and the Parliament Building).
Notting Hill was too cute.
Random shot of the city.
What did I tell you? We definitely had tea time!
Lovely English summer day.
Dancing at an American-inspired club.
Two Blog friends meeting!! And a story to boot (as told by Jackie):
Another adventure on the tube and then there we were, walking on the cobblestones up to Chez Gerard, one of my favourite bars for Long Island Iced Teas. We sat sipping our drinks and chatting for a long while and then, my favourite moment of the night, Ashley insisted on buying me another drink and the conversation with the bartender went as follows: Me: Could I have the cocktail menu please?...Ooh, I'll have a Strawberry Daiquiri, please! Ashley: And I'm buying her drink!...But we're not lesbians. But I am paying. (Bartender cracks up and turns around to get ingredients for my drink) Me: Great Ashley, now I look like a prostitute! (Bartender comes back) Ashley: She's not a prostitute, by the way. (Bartender bursts into hysterics)
It's 92 degrees in SD today, and I'm sipping on cold guava juice and spraying myself with water to keep cool. (My roommates and I are refusing to turn on the AC to try and save money...TORTURE!).
What's funny is, a few short days ago I was in Ireland and the temperature was a cold 50-something degrees. My body is really confused right now.
Anyway, no time to complain, cause I've got to show some pictures of Paris! Here we go:
In Montmartre. BEAUTIFUL.
Later that night, Colleen and I performed. KIDDING. ha.
Place mat at Amelie's Cafe.
The Lourve.
Solene, the girl we stayed with using CouchSurfing. GREAT experience with her!
Hall of Mirrors at the Chateau de Versailles (owned by Louis XIV, the Sun King)
Simply Gorgeous.
Notre Dame. I went to the service, which was in French, but I said all the Catholic parts I knew in English. tee-hee.
The Life: Sitting at a French Cafe in the afternoon.
One of my favorite spots in Paris: St. Germaine. This is how I imagined the city, in real life form.
Arc De Triomphe
Do I need a caption? This thing was HUGE and we climbed to the first level by stairs. In 90-degree heat. Some Canadian lady behind us was complaining, "I should have quit smoking years ago!" Yep.
This is the view from the apartment we stayed at in Versailles. Charming, isn't it?
I have something like 100 more pictures, but it would take too long to post. Also, I may or may not have french-kissed a french guy there (Colleen's idea!) and there may or may not be photographic evidence...but that picture is not going up here! hehe. I mean...what picture?!
Anyway, I will post my other pics of London and Ireland later this week. Until then, enjoy Paris. I did.
